Relationship My Husband With Ptsd

[Jane1234]

I can understand that you do not understand because it seems your experiences in life are far differ...

Thank you so very much. Your reply is so reassuring. Everything you said is so familiar. My husband is very protective of me and is very afraid I will leave someday and never come back. Unfortunately those that fight for our country also can suffer. That's what a war zone does to you!! Thank you for your help it's so much appreciated.

 

[Jane1234]

Hi Just,
I hope you dont mind me reaching out. Reading what you have said makes me feel you have such a great understanding of my situation. I feel like I'm so bad at this...... Tonight spoke to him about his usage of his phone when the 2 of us are out to dinner and how it makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel like i'm sitting there by myself. I told him I've never said anything for years because I knew it wouldn't go over well. Well big mistake tonight I stuck my ground and told him it bothered me. At dinner I took his phone and told him it could wait til we go home looking up stuff. Well that was a mistake!!!! He said I was exaggerating and picking on him. I'm not exaggerating I just held it in because I knew he would see it as an attack. I'm struggling feel so alone. Its better to keep things in its not worth it to speak up. I wish he could have said "I'm so sorry I won't use my phone anymore when we are out"... O well

 

[clsnowyowl]

Thank you so very much. Your reply is so reassuring. Everything you said is so familiar. My husband is very protective of me and is very afraid I will leave someday and never come back. Unfortunately those that fight for our country also can suffer. That's what a war zone does to you!! Thank you for your help it's so much appreciated.

You labeled the PTSD symptom correctly. It is kind of like a war in which veterans and non-veterans alike are constantly fighting in order to make the peace. Some people like me (I am a non-veteran civilian that encountered a hostile situation that could have cost me my life) got a first hand account of what it is like to nearly lose your life (I am sure veterans experienced far worse in a real battlefield scenario situation) and then value life so much especially after nearly losing my life. So, I strive hard (as others with PTSD do) to protect life, even though I am "over the top" at times to do this.

When my boundaries (or the boundaries of loved ones) already previously set feel to me (as I perceive them) to be threatened or violated, I am all over the situation (kind of like an overzealous security guard). It is because I care that me, my wife, and our home are completely safe and we are protected (relatively speaking). With this knowledge that everything is relatively safe every minute of every day or night, that is when I can begin to relax and feel comfortable in my own head. I still feel a great responsibility to protect my wife and make her feel secure and see to her comfort first- I signed up for that responsibility as her husband when I married her. It is one of the ways I show her I love her even though I go overboard at times and am sometimes overprotective.

Also, I am dealing with letting her in more, when she wants to get closer, even when I have been recently predisposed to stress. So, there is hope. Just do your best to learn more about PTSD and try to learn more about what you do not know. You will empathize more as you know more and come to understand. I am glad you want to try and learn and do your best.

Sincerely,

The snowy owl