Sufferer My Intro: Can't Feel Emotion

[ShatterMe]

About me in a Nutshell.....

My name is "TJ"

I am 42yrs, Divorced woman with 2 Kids that are 16 and 19. My 19 year old does not have anything to do with me because of my mental illnesses. My 16 year old comes and visits me often.

I choose to live alone with only my dogs/birds. My safe haven is at home away from people.

I avoid relationships at this time until I can feel emotion. I have been on meds for so long that its hard to feel love..emotion and I have the inability to respond to human touch without feeling "cold or indifferent"

The only thing that can help me "feel" is Music..

Diagnosis back in 2000:

(Mental)
Social Anxiety Disorder
PTSD
Anxiety Panic Disorder
Major Depressive Disorder
Bi-Polar Tendencies.

(Physical)
Brain Arteriovenous Malformation

 

[marylouise]

What kind of music are you drawn to?

 

[Bigblueeyes45]

I know how you feel I keep myself in my home a lot I stress out a lot when anyone comes over I wanna fix that I have PTSD with depression anxiety panic attacks some days I can not eat and now I have this weird nervous thing going on where when i get anxiety my body itches and I have burning and shooting pain and my head shakes. I am 45 years old and married too a man that doesn't understand what is going on with me......I don't talk too family and friends about whats going on so i found this website hoping too meet people too talk too and learn. You have a great day hope too hear from you HUGS

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Music has so helped me to be able to express how I was really feeling at the time. I always had my Walkman on while I was working in the yard.

I hope this place will help you as much as it has helped me. No need to explain yourself here, everyone gets it.

 

[silkleaves]

Welcome TJ, glad that you found this place! It has been a great help for me...I joined not long ago and already feel at home here. I'm surprised with myself actually how much I've been able to share, considering I was like a mouse in group and may as well have been a plant in the room during one-on-one therapy. But everyone here really is awesome and warm, and being able to express myself, while having people who can relate and be compassionate really has helped me *a lot* in the short time that I have been here.

Music means a lot to me too...I am stuck in the 90's lol mostly because I guess that is when I discovered music and a lot of the songs really resonated with me. But most of my collection is all instrumentals...because when I'm going through a "moment" the words just have me feeling far too much. But music alone without words helps me to just feel the rhythm, beat and emotion of the music.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[Suzetig]

I have a hard time feeling emotion too - I'm just starting to work on this with my therapist, trying to identify physical feelings and link them to emotions. It's not easy!

I too love music, it's been a coping mechanism for me for as long as I can remember - what kind of thing are you drawn to?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome. :)