My Ptsd Life

[Joe Addison]

Hi everyone,

I just joined the forum, sorry if this is a wrong thread to post my experience with PTSD.

It's been almost two years now since I suffered such a tragic experience that cause me with mental breakdown, PTSD, depression. At first, I didn't know what was happening to me. I started getting nightmare almost every night, I cried a lot. I thought this is normal given the fact that I just loss one of the most important thing in my life. After 6 months, I started to face all the ptsd symptoms. I know I suffered ptsd because I read a lot on the internet about this thing.

Then I went to a psychiatrist. He said its a bit late since its been a year, then he gave me anti depressant and anti anxiety prescriptions. Silly me, I didn't follow the instructions ( I suppose to take it daily), but since they're expensive, I used it once in three days (which didn't not do anything to me at the end).

Currently, all the symptoms are still there, if I reflect back on my life for the past two years. I cant even recall there was a single time in my life where I feel happy (or living). For me, everything is just horrible. Short term memory loss, sleeping disorder, nightmare, easily startled, feeling afraid easily, anti social you name it. My life has been so horrible. Everything is just falling apart. The worst part, I didn't see a psychiatrist again (planning to see one next week). I have no idea whether this thing can be cured or not, all I'm seeing right now is just a f****ed up life.

Only few people knew about my condition, and guess what, they don't really care lol. Ptsd has been affecting my life heavily, especially it disturbs my uni life and work. Imagine this, during exam period, one day I memorize some materials, and the next day I forgot (almost completely) what I learned yesterday. Anyway, I'm planning to see a psychiatrist next week, I've been lazing around for not seeing one, because I still can't believe that I'm suffering from ptsd and I'm depressed.

Anyway, thanks for reading my post, sorry if I took your time, but since I really can't tell my condition to people easily, I thought of just writing it on this forum.

Cheers,

 

[scout86]

I don't know if you posted in the right place either, but welcome to the forum!

I hope you can find the help you need to get your life back on track. "Cured"? I don't know, but there are lots of things that can help, not just medication either. Good luck on your journey! This is a good place to find help and support.

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

Joe - Trauma diaries is a place for you to let it all out. There are some guidelines for what the different forums are for. From what I've read, alleviating PTSD means learning different coping strategies and figuring out what your triggers are for (among other things). Finding a good therapist is important.

Congratulations on starting the process of healing, and you've made a good start.

 

[Joe Addison]

Thanks for the reply guys!

What sort of therapist/therapy do I need by the way? Because I thought just by taking anti depressant (going to a psychiatrist) will help.

 

[DMerish]

It depends on the psychiatrist and the therapy. Some psychiasts primarily focus on prescribing medication. Others are able to prescibe medication and also provide counseling. Medication can help some people "get by" to a degree, day by day. But to truely deal with a tragic experience (your words) medication isn't usually enough.

Look for a trauma therapist. If possible, find one that has a lot of experience dealing with folks that have gone through experiences similar to yourself, i.e. sexual trauma, assult/violence trauma, traumatic death/suicide of someone close to you, etc.

 

[CVC]

I am sorry you are suffering, and I am glad you have found this place. There is a lot of support here if you want it!

As for healing options:

My experience is that you might have to be agentic and persistent to get the right kind of professional support. There are far too many psychiatrists who believe in pills as THE solution, and I strongly believe you will miss out on opportunities for deeper healing if you go the medication-only route. I think working with a trauma specialist can be a life-changer, if you find someone with whom you feel safe. Don't be afraid to try out a bunch of different people, and don't be afraid to interview your prospective counselors. It really is important to find the right match, and any good therapist will recognize this, so don't feel bad about "shopping around."

That said, even in highly structured therapy, the gains you make will be in large part thanks to the efforts you make outside the therapy sessions. It's hard work to heal, but I can't think of a better use of our time and energy! :)

There is also plenty to be done on your own even if you choose to forgo therapy altogether. I and many others have been able to make considerable progress with a "self-help" approach, using workbooks, professional manuals for psychologists, and also much of the information on this forum--but I think how much you want to go at it on your own is personal. I like to read and research, and I am a teacher, so putting together a "curriculum" and "homework" for myself feels natural. I recognize it won't necessarily work for everyone, but thought I'd mention it, because I feel like most therapists will try to convince you that the ONLY way to get better is by being in therapy (much like how many doctors and psychiatrists will tell you that you HAVE to take pills). And it's simply not true!

Whatever path towards healing you take, I hope you find some support here. Welcome to the forum!