My t has given me a goal for next session

[Smile]

I haven't been doing any of our goals that we discuss during sessions.

"Discovered" today why. Pretty much I'm wavering between whether I want to live or die.

If I don't want to live, why go through all this hard work but more importantly, I want whatever money I have from disability to go to my bills so family doesn't have to deal.

And if I do want to, then I need to really LIVE.

Session ended only an hour ago but I am sooo leaning towards not living.

Anyone ever come across this fork in the road? Just looking for some help on how to make a firm decision

Thanks

 

[Muted]

I think the key is to work through the deep rooted trauma part that holds the trauma. The hard part is that while working through that, it can retrigger that hopeless feeling of death being the only escape from the unbearable pain. Having a safe plan with a safe person who can help when you get flooded by reliving trauma can help. I think it's vital to be intune with yourself enough to be aware of the earliest point that you're feeling it so that you can get help before it spirals and overtakes you. It's really hard to get perspective in the middle of that spiral, because the pain is overwhelming.