My T Thinks Therapy Is Making Me Worse

[scout86]

Feel free! I'd be interested to know what he said too. Who knows, maybe he'd learn something.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi dear @Jane.l .

It sounds oversimplified, but I guess you can only ask & go by the answer.

I'm sorry it is so difficult. :(

 

[Jane.l]

@Lucycat yes it could be part and parcel of ptsd it is more extreme than I have described here but yes that's more than likely what it is I just want to check out that we're not missing something that I could be doing so that I can tackle the therapy work - just desperately clutching at straws probably :(

 

[digger]

Whether it is part and parcel of the PTSD, or something else, it doesn't sound like the way he is approaching it, whatever it is, with you is working particularly well. I'm not particularly interested in labels either, but I do expect my T to work with what I'm presenting with. Whether for diagnosis or not, I think seeing another psychologist for an opinion is a positive step to take from here, if only for a fresh perspective.

 

[Jane.l]

@digger he just seems to want to ignore it, which I find really invalidating - same with the suicidal stuff it makes me feels like he either doesn't believe me or doesn't take it seriously or thinks I am some kind of hypercondraic - not helpful
Unless I am - so I thought I would check out what someone else thought. I also think he is referring to this when he says I am getting worse I do have more symptoms than when we started but I have been through so much in the last year - it's not exactly surprising !

 

[digger]

I would find it invalidating too I think. If I say to my T, such and such symptoms (whatever label they might or might not be attributed to) are bothering me right now, I would expect her to be responding to that either by addressing those symptoms and looking at ways I can work on them, or explaining why she doesn't feel the need for us to address those things directly (ie. If we look at x, y will probably improve anyway). I wouldn't expect her to just dismiss them without adequate acknowledgement.

 

[greenleaf]

@jane.I -- it sounds to me like this T really deeply does not understand trauma; things can come up that you didn't feel safe feeling before, for instance... It's not actually "getting worse". Have you read on dissociated "parts" at all? One doesn't have to be DID to have buried "parts" from early trauma periods, it can be subtle and hard for general nonspecialized Ts to detect, I think. There are very helpful techniques you can learn to work with it, if so, from the right T, and do things slowly and safely.

Please do get a better T for trauma work!!!

It's a safety issue too re. the suicidal ideation; you need and deserve to both be safe and feel safe re physical safety, and it should always be taken seriously.

 

[Kefira]

@Jane.l, I'm not sure if you mentioned, but is he a trauma T? I know that was one of the problems with my T who I mentioned. She was a really good T and really good at treating a number of the other disorders I have because of the trauma, but she didn't know how to address the whole symptom group and I think she really honestly didn't know how to help at a certain point. She also seemed to ignore certain things and have big blind spots, or attribute symptoms to problems other than the trauma despite indications that that was the source. We really didn't focus on the trauma itself very much. probably partly because I didn't want to go there and partly because she didn't want to either.

Now that I'm working with someone who understands trauma, even though I'm having trouble building a relationship to a new person, it's a lot better and I feel I get a lot more validation across the board.

Just a thought.

 

[Jane.l]

I do get in a mess when I try to rationalise his reaction - I often come up with he doesn't care which sets off all my needy issues but I also get in a mess with what the therapy is about anyway I know he's not meant to tell me what to do - so maybe I am expecting too much ?

Then I thought maybe it's a uk thing I know they seem to be much more 'on it' with suicide in the US - it's very British to just ignore stuff - do u have any experience of how the Uk treat this @digger ?

@greenleaf thanks for the 'parts' info - when I started describing it to my T I did say it felt like I was different people - I will look it up

 

[digger]

Then I thought maybe it's a uk thing I know they seem to be much more 'on it' with suicide in the US - it's very British to just ignore stuff - do u have any experience of how the Uk treat this @digger ?

I can only really go on my own T, as, apart from some very brief and disastrous interactions with NHS services, I don't really have any other experience of therapy in the UK (other than what I've read hear). I can say that she has specifically said to me that she considers it to be her job to work with whatever the client brings though, and while she might sometimes put something to one side for a bit, it is always with a reason.

@greenleaf thanks for the 'parts' info - when I started describing it to my T I did say it felt like I was different people - I will look it up

I've found reading about secondary dissociation quite helpful in this respect. My T also brings some elements of Transactional Analysis to our sessions which has been helpful for me to understand why I feel like I'm operating from a child state, or other states, at times.

 

[digger]

Sorry, I think I might have misread your question? Did you mean how suicide is reacted to by therapists? If so, it's not something that's come up yet, apart from talking a bit about past attempts, but I would hope it wouldn't be dismissed if I did need to talk about it with her.

 

[Jane.l]

@Kefira I don't think he is a trauma T as such - not sure they are easy to come by in the UK ?

I picked him to begin with because he treats sexual abuse, ptsd, self harm and eating disorders .

He has been great in a lot of ways with the trauma work and while we were moving forward and tackling flashbacks and doing bits of EDMR he was great but since I have been feeling so down he seems lost at how to get us back on track .