My Therapist Of 23 Years Just Died

[sharon58]

I have PTSD from a childhood of alcoholic physical and sexual abuse until I was put in a foster home in my late teens. I had a wonderful therapist who helped me process all that and has kept me from killing myself numerous times. She was kind intelligent not afraid to get mad at me when it was for my own good. I could call her anytime and trusted her completely. I have been in bed unable to get dressed showered or eat. I feel if I could just cry I would do so much better. I feel dead how can I get myself to cry

 

[Go Hungry]

So sorry for your loss.. And you can cry here, all you want. *hugs*

 

[littlelostchild]

I am sorry for your loss. I understand about not being able to cry - I don't cry. I am beginning to believe we can grieve in many ways. You will find lots of support here on the forum.

Be kind and gentle with yourself right now.

 

[Hope4Now]

It is so hard when people we love deeply move on. My heart cries with you.

 

[GWhizz]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Please do not try to force yourself to cry. Grieving is a process with many stages and we need to allow that process to naturally take place. Think what she may say to you now, or what she may have told you to do if she couldn't be there for you. You say she helped save your life many times. Do not let her down. Live up to what she taught you you could be, the strength you are capable of.

The hardest part of life can be accepting permanent loss of significant individuals in our lives. Right now I cannot even imagine how I may feel if my T were to pass away or leave permanently for some reason. But I know she would encourage me to continue the process I had begun with her and not regress. It sounds like your T was quite committed to helping you on your journey. Life throws curved balls at us all the time. I hope you continue to grow with this. You got through a really tough beginning. And your compassion alone and graciousness for what your T did to help you, show what a good person you are.

Please be nice and easy on yourself and don't push yourself to do anything too strenuous or make demands of yourself to cry if it doesn't happen itself. As already mentioned, there are lots of ways to grieve. And we all grieve differently. Thinking of you :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am so very sorry that you lost your therapist to death. I hate death.

I am also sorry that you lost such a good friend who gave you so much stability. No one can replace your therapist.

I can sure understand how you feel, I lost my loving husband of thirty six years of marriage over a year now.

I could not function and I was a total basket case. I so can relate to what you are going through right now.

I hope you have support that you can pour your heart out to, and if not consider a daily journal to track your grief.

I do not know how to cry. It was beaten out of me. I grieve in many different ways now. And it helps so much. I was fortunate to have a friend who just lost a loved one too and we have been each others rocks. I now have another friend who is also a rock for me and she lost her husband right before Christmas.

I had a psychiatrist that I dearly loved and he died and I felt so lost without him. The one they assigned me to was not a good fit and I hung onto her because I did not know that there may be others better than the one I was assigned.

Now I have a new psychiatrist that I dealy love and he is so helpful and understanding of me. He helps me all of the time.

I know how much despair and blackness and lack of motivation you have now. But I promise that in time you will begin to heal from the death of your beloved therapist. Mabe you could get a referral for someone similar to the style you are used to. You need help and support and validation so much. Hugs and prayers if that is ok.

 

[scout86]

We carry the people who have been important in our lives with us all the time. Your therapist lives on in your memories of her and in all the good work the two of you did together. If you pause and think, you can probably hear her voice. In a lot of situations, if you ask yourself, I'll bet you'll know what she'd say. It's not the same, of course, but it's something.

I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm really glad that you had someone like her in your life at a time when you needed her so badly, and I'm glad that she helped you so well. The world is full of good people, although they can be hard to find. I don't think we can replace one person with another, but I'm hoping you find more good people to fill your life. As far as how do you cry, I don't know. Like everyone else said, there are a lot of ways to grieve. You'll cry when it's the right time for you to cry.

Sometimes it helps to talk about things, and you can sure do that here. I'm sure we'd all like to hear the story of the two of you. She must have been remarkable person and I know I'd like to hear more about her.

 

[BloomInWinter]

What you are describing sounds like normal shock and grief. I'm sorry For your loss.

Please don't judge yourself for however your body and mind are processing such a significant trauma. There is no rule book. There is just a need to do whatever brings you comfort without harm.

The tears will come when your brain has decided it is time. (((((hugs)))))