M
Mozuz
I am feeling a need to vent about the 'therapy industry'. This is in no way to minimize or negate those who see therapists and that have good and helpful relationships with their T's. In fact, reading about good relationships with T's makes me a bit envious.
My experiences of therapy have not been anywhere near the good ones I read here and my vent is prompted by my significant other asking me to consider going to couples therapy where we can discuss some of the recent troubles that have come to a head after many years of trying to work them through ourselves. My SO knows exactly how I feel about therapy and again, my feelings come as a result of my own personal experience with them.
So here are some of the myths I have seen therapists cling to and my vent vis a vis these 'myths'. Feel free to add any.
Myths Therapists tell themselves and each other
Myth # 1) My clients expect me to be perfect.
Therapists will use this myth to gloss over the number of times their client will withdraw from them because the therapist has said something insensitive, rude, hurtful, way off the mark, imposed a far-from-therapeutic dynamic into the therapy for the umpteenth time. Finally when the client expresses their displeasure with the therapist and risks getting angry and discouraged, the therapist will think, ‘...ahhh… my client is let down because I am not perfect.’ We may be emotionally vulnerable but we’re not stupid.
Myth #2) My client bolted - left out of the blue.
When a client leaves therapy without telling the therapist they are not returning, the therapist thinks it came out of the blue. But if the therapist thinks back to all the times they weren’t listening while their client struggled to communicate that the therapist wasn’t listening the therapist will see there was no ‘blue' about it.
Myth #3) My client suddenly bolting is related to her unresolved childhood issues.
When the therapist has convinced themselves their clients' leaving early has nothing to do with them, think again. It has everything to do with the therapist. Who do you think was sitting in the chair with the notepad? If the therapist wasn't half the equation who was cashing the cheques?
Myth #4) When I graduate I will be ready to hang up my shingle and charge lots of money.
I have a tattoo artist - she’s been apprenticing for over 6 years. As a result she only charges an eighth of what other artists are charging even though she’s as good, if not better than most tattoo artists I’ve ever seen. She’s proud to apprentice and talks about how hard she knows she has to work before she feels she’s ready to ‘graduate’ and join the ranks of the fully fledged. That’s some kind of standard she has. So therapists, take a lesson here. Therapist are not etching skin, more, they are etching minds, souls, spirits. Learn from tattooists and apprentice for 5 years before even thinking of calling yourself a therapist - oh and, lower your fees to reflect it.
Myth #5) I am worth charging $$$$$ a session. I could be charging more.
While many therapists' superficial motivation might be worthy in that they tell themselves they are in the field to help others, a stronger and ’shadow' motivation is driven by the hope that if the therapist can help a client then somehow they will be able to make sense of their own craziness. Therapists, pay your clients for helping to normalize you.
My experiences of therapy have not been anywhere near the good ones I read here and my vent is prompted by my significant other asking me to consider going to couples therapy where we can discuss some of the recent troubles that have come to a head after many years of trying to work them through ourselves. My SO knows exactly how I feel about therapy and again, my feelings come as a result of my own personal experience with them.
So here are some of the myths I have seen therapists cling to and my vent vis a vis these 'myths'. Feel free to add any.
Myths Therapists tell themselves and each other
Myth # 1) My clients expect me to be perfect.
Therapists will use this myth to gloss over the number of times their client will withdraw from them because the therapist has said something insensitive, rude, hurtful, way off the mark, imposed a far-from-therapeutic dynamic into the therapy for the umpteenth time. Finally when the client expresses their displeasure with the therapist and risks getting angry and discouraged, the therapist will think, ‘...ahhh… my client is let down because I am not perfect.’ We may be emotionally vulnerable but we’re not stupid.
Myth #2) My client bolted - left out of the blue.
When a client leaves therapy without telling the therapist they are not returning, the therapist thinks it came out of the blue. But if the therapist thinks back to all the times they weren’t listening while their client struggled to communicate that the therapist wasn’t listening the therapist will see there was no ‘blue' about it.
Myth #3) My client suddenly bolting is related to her unresolved childhood issues.
When the therapist has convinced themselves their clients' leaving early has nothing to do with them, think again. It has everything to do with the therapist. Who do you think was sitting in the chair with the notepad? If the therapist wasn't half the equation who was cashing the cheques?
Myth #4) When I graduate I will be ready to hang up my shingle and charge lots of money.
I have a tattoo artist - she’s been apprenticing for over 6 years. As a result she only charges an eighth of what other artists are charging even though she’s as good, if not better than most tattoo artists I’ve ever seen. She’s proud to apprentice and talks about how hard she knows she has to work before she feels she’s ready to ‘graduate’ and join the ranks of the fully fledged. That’s some kind of standard she has. So therapists, take a lesson here. Therapist are not etching skin, more, they are etching minds, souls, spirits. Learn from tattooists and apprentice for 5 years before even thinking of calling yourself a therapist - oh and, lower your fees to reflect it.
Myth #5) I am worth charging $$$$$ a session. I could be charging more.
While many therapists' superficial motivation might be worthy in that they tell themselves they are in the field to help others, a stronger and ’shadow' motivation is driven by the hope that if the therapist can help a client then somehow they will be able to make sense of their own craziness. Therapists, pay your clients for helping to normalize you.
