Near Constant Somatic Sensations

[redstone]

Hi All -
Now that I am less dissociative I am aware of a near constant thrumming/tingling in my arms and feet. Sometimes, throat. The sensations are accompanied by small but insistent waves of fatigue. In discussing it with my T, I think it is the hyper/hypo arousal cycle that has probably been present since the earliest trauma (incest/sexual abuse from age 2 or 3). Awareness of this has been going on for months now. I would like to know if this sounds familiar to anyone else. The sensations are distracting and disturbing but I don't want to dissociate them as they are memory material. Any hints on finding a happy balance between focusing on them or pushing them away?
Thanks

 

[Saint Nik]

I wouldn't as so much focus on them, but just being aware that they are there. Allowing yourself to feel absolutely anything, rather than trying to fix, analyse, push away, avoid, ignore. . . like a headache, or a sore tummy, or even a cold. . .we may take a paracetmol? Or curl up on the sofa, in our beds. . .so find your comfort with these feelings and don't do anything about them! Hope that makes sense and helps :)

 

[shimmerz]

How about focusing on the stop and massaging it? Thanking it for helping you to be aware so that you can get to healing?

 

[redstone]

I wouldn't as so much focus on them, but just being aware that they are there. Allowing yourself to fe...

Right. I recognize in your list of possible actions, "trying to fix, analyse, push away, avoid, ignore" my pattern of needing to respond to everything that comes my way, as if, AS IF, it were all my fault/responsibility, as if I have done something to deserve these sensations. Interesting to try to just let it be, maybe, my companion as I go about my day. I'm brewing a cup of tea right this moment. Thank you.

 

[Saint Nik]

my pattern of needing to respond to everything that comes my way

I know how difficult this is to let things be. I know our reptile brains just go into complete fight/flight mode, parts of our brains are trying to fix, analyse purely to make the pain go away, the feelings of trauma to be gone. Then, when that doesn't work, what happens? We start to deny, push, avoid all the feelings. The more that carries on, we go back to - okay, that isn't working, I have to fix this,work this out. . . then back to pushing the feeling away, avoiding, even looking to see if it's gone yet. . . or suppressing, repressing all those emotions.

And guess what starts? A pattern, this vicious cycle of endless,ongoing, never ending mind chatter that of course only fuels the emotions more intensely!

This doesn't work for everyone - but what I do is I allow any, and I mean absolutely any feeling wash over me, overcome me to the point it can overwhelm me and I use coping strategies, such as watching comedy shows as the feelings arise inside of me, completely taken me over. I could be sitting watching comedy in absolute tears (and not with laughter!) The emotion finally exhausts itself and I become exhausted and drained. . . while I do this, I do not narrate in my head (the way I use to), I don't try to fix or analyse, or even avoid, push away, deny. . . no more running commentary inside my head.
I sit with it, aware it's there, but still do the dishes (even if I feel so anxious of flashbacks, or crying, or trembling, or any other symptom happening with any other feelings playing havoc inside of me) I am simply aware it's there and know it will pass it it's own time.

I truly believe that if we survived the trauma or abuse, we will survive the recovery and that is what I feel is happening with PTSD sufferers. That our brain is trying to process it over and over and over. . .until it gets bored of it (okay, maybe not bored, but process the trauma inside the mind and learns by itself that it is no longer unsafe, no longer hurting, that's why I think we relive flashbacks, because our brain is feeling safe in that moment to comprehend it - for example, I get flashbacks simply by just sitting watching TV, nothing particular has happened, nothing on TV to trigger it. . .completely spontaneous and I can't help wonder if the brain is like - Okay, now it's time to process this in a much safer way, but our body is like wtf is going on!!! and then we feel we are going mental!) :joyful:

All I know for a fact is that feelings,emotions and even thoughts. All of them, every single one of them all pass! Nothing is permanent and I try my best to remember that, especially when I am going through the :poop:

 

[Saint Nik]

I think my shorter answer should be, basically, if you can - find your comfort in your sensations! And that's it. It will pass! :tup::hug:

 

[redstone]

I know how difficult this is to let things be. I know our reptile brains just go into complete fight/f...

It feels right that the presence of the sensation is an improvement or a step toward healing because at least I'm not associating it. And I can make friends with those sensations. Thanks