DrillPress01
New Here
Greetings,
I'm a 43 year old father and husband. I'm signing up because I could use some feedback from time to time regarding my own thoughts. I got a formal PTSD diagnosis a few years back, but can assure you that I was just being really stubborn about asking for help. I was both physically and sexually abused as a child, much of the framing around the events being what I would call "unhelpfully religious." As a young man, I had two very premature children, one of whom we got to bring home on this monitor that would let us know if his breathing stopped and his heartrate dropped so that we could wake him up and he'd remember to breathe. My ex and I didn't manage to stay together, likely a mixture of us both needing to work through some things.
I was a first responder for a while, and managed stress pretty well (or so I thought.) I also volunteered at a hospice. Still kept up the idea that I was doing fine. Then, both of my parents died in an aircraft crash (my father was a flight instructor.) After going through the process of handling their estate, I just kind of frayed at the edges. I couldn't sleep well, woke up with an impending sense of doom, and had anxieties about almost anything that I could think of. Also, I just didn't ever feel that things were "okay." I could be doing something that I would have previously thought of as fun, but I just didn't feel anything positive. My current wife suggested that I speak to a psychiatrist, which I did. I've been in treatment now for about 2.5 years.
She explained to me how my adrenal system was most certainly overtaxed, and gave me the professional equivalent of "Oh, wow...yeah, you need help." We have managed to get most of the really extreme reactions under control. I still struggle with anhedonia and depression from time to time, but it's less intense now. The struggle is ongoing, and very tiring. I am really lucky to have a decent support system of friends and my immediate family. I doubt I'd still be here if it weren't for them.
Thank you.
I'm a 43 year old father and husband. I'm signing up because I could use some feedback from time to time regarding my own thoughts. I got a formal PTSD diagnosis a few years back, but can assure you that I was just being really stubborn about asking for help. I was both physically and sexually abused as a child, much of the framing around the events being what I would call "unhelpfully religious." As a young man, I had two very premature children, one of whom we got to bring home on this monitor that would let us know if his breathing stopped and his heartrate dropped so that we could wake him up and he'd remember to breathe. My ex and I didn't manage to stay together, likely a mixture of us both needing to work through some things.
I was a first responder for a while, and managed stress pretty well (or so I thought.) I also volunteered at a hospice. Still kept up the idea that I was doing fine. Then, both of my parents died in an aircraft crash (my father was a flight instructor.) After going through the process of handling their estate, I just kind of frayed at the edges. I couldn't sleep well, woke up with an impending sense of doom, and had anxieties about almost anything that I could think of. Also, I just didn't ever feel that things were "okay." I could be doing something that I would have previously thought of as fun, but I just didn't feel anything positive. My current wife suggested that I speak to a psychiatrist, which I did. I've been in treatment now for about 2.5 years.
She explained to me how my adrenal system was most certainly overtaxed, and gave me the professional equivalent of "Oh, wow...yeah, you need help." We have managed to get most of the really extreme reactions under control. I still struggle with anhedonia and depression from time to time, but it's less intense now. The struggle is ongoing, and very tiring. I am really lucky to have a decent support system of friends and my immediate family. I doubt I'd still be here if it weren't for them.
Thank you.
. Sounds like you've been through alot. Sorry to hear that. After everything you went through as a child, to then have both your parents die is awful. Losing your sense of enjoyment in any activity is a classic sign of depression. I've been there. I have a history of complex trauma, depression and anxiety. Now living a good life for the most part but it took a long time to get here. 
