Relationship Need Advice On A Few Things

[rightkindofme]

You need to take a long, cold look at your life and decide what you want. PTSD probably won't go away. Are you really going to be ok with 20 years of this? 40 years? 60 years? It is better to end it early than use up your whole life on a relationship that doesn't work for you. It sounds kind of cold and harsh, but I think that people who live with folks who have mental illness need to be that kind of harsh sometimes.

You can only be a supporter if your needs are adequately met. Your oxygen mask has to go on first. If you aren't getting enough of what you need then you can't sustain yourself. It is really hard though. :(

 

[scatteredfrustrated]

My husband and his siblings (who all committed suicide) suffered years of torture-level daily sexual abuse...his is a story that has everyone, even the hardest hearts in horrified tears. He talks often about how from 18-35 (good looking, charming, baby-faced) he used his story to manipulate and control every situation. He adored hospitals and counselling sessions because he got the nurture and care he didn't get as a kid. He knows his younger self didn't mean to, but sees that he used people endlessly...women were always so kind and nurturing. Nowadays he's a counselling teacher who warns professionals and carers (and future partners!) about people like he was...adorable, vulnerable and (without meaning to be) highly manipulative of kind responsible caring people. They make you feel loved and wanted and needed...and suck the life out of you. He would tell you to detach with love and compassion...then RUN!!