Need suggestions from self harmers - my 11 year old niece just started hurting herself

[zero]

Banging her head and hitting herself is considered self injury.

I'm so concerned for this small person!

There is a med that can help folks not self injure called "Naltrexone." It helps to stave off the urges. It also helps urges for folks trying not to drink or do heroin. (It's the same chemical bond.)

I dont know the age groups that can utilize it, but for me, it's like being on vacation because I dont have to monitor it ((not hurting myself)) as much during the day. Really amazing.

I did learn to stop hurting myself back in 98 and found ways to distract myself. (Simple math problems. Mindfulness meditation where you focus on how your breathing *feels.*)

And an incredible book and company called "Bodily Harm- SAFE: Safe Alternatives for Everyone. " This book seriously helped me learn how not to hurt myself. It asks "what emotion are you not wanting to feel?" and introduces how to "creste a window of opportubity" where you wait. There's more to it, but this has helped me very much.

I've also been in talk therapy and see a psychiatrist. ❤ It's important for the sweet girl to learn she needs to experience her emotions and that it is ok.

This is the core of what self injury, and pretty much any addiction, is about. ❤❤❤ (Not wanting to feel unpleasant emotions. Usually "sad" "mad"/rage and helplessness.

I'll be praying for her. :) I'll check back again.

 

[zero]

Thought I'd give an update on this....

Niece is doing awesome. She's in counseling and doing an emdr program to help her figure out how to reframe her "bad" thoughts, and shes on meds. She told me a month or so ago that she feels like a huge weight is off her and she hasn't wanted to cut in months. Now it's just normal tween drama :laugh:

The best part? Her bestie - who is also 12- started cutting and stopped eating. Niece immediately went to sis (her mom) and told her what was going on. CPS ended up getting involved but sounds like they are getting the help they need before it gets worse. I'm so freaking proud of her!

So thank you to everyone who offered advice and suggestions from your own stories. You ended up helping save two girls!! Yay team!!

Oh! This is lovely!!! /prayers to you ❤

 

[Mach123]

This is interesting because it leads to the discussion is re enactment/ recreation. You said the little girl had "no abuse history" and yet this behavior we are all familiar with.

How can this be? I recall asking my first trauma therapist, and all the rest since, about my family and how this trauma behavior seems to repeat generationally even in family members with no trauma history anyone knows about.

So it gets imprinted on the next generation by the parents at least partially is my belief. There can be many contributing factors, but I know this happened in my family.

I'm so glad she is receiving help and responding.

 

[Friday]

You said the little girl had "no abuse history" and yet this behavior we are all familiar with.

Self harm isn’t limited to abused kids.

 

[Freida]

How can this be

Self harm isn’t limited to abused kids.

Yep. It can be caused by just run of the mill major depression - which is biology based rather than trauma based. She's been like this since she was born - massive tantrums were a routine thing with her. I think her parents hoped she would grow out of it but it just kept getting worse.

Now that she's on meds and doing emdr it is way better. She still has tantrums but they are much less common or dramatic.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((@Freida ))You are an AWESOME Auntie and a priceless gift of a lifetime for her!???

 

[Freida]

awww..thanks @AngelkeeperJ :hug: