Hello. I realize this is long. I've tried to shorten it as much as I can.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD for at least the 20 years. I realize now I suffered with PTSD more than likely as a child, except it no one thought a child could have PTSD. In the 60's, I don't even think it existed or was called PTSD.
Between my childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse and graduating into two physically and emotionally abusive marriage; I guess I am an expert on what not to do. I did it anyway.
I am 51. I finally was able to see my pattern. Met a man. Dated for 2 1/2 years and married in May 2012. I looked for all the signs of an abuser. He seemed to be the one who I would finally have a healthy relationship.
To my surprise, 6 months into the marriage he became a different man. Like a switch that had been turned on. Rages and anger. No physical, just verbal and emotional abuse. I've had no symptoms for many years. Suddenly, it was like I had never been better from my PTSD. Retraumatized, I'm back in therapy and medicated. He triggered me and I have triggered him. We recently had flashbacks at the same time. Not something I recommend for couples to do together.
My husband has been diagnosed with PTSD because of his abusive childhood with two alcoholic parents who beat him. He had always known of the abuse, never really remembered all his childhood. He has big gaps in his memory. For the first time in his life is experiencing the anger, detachment being numb and other symptoms. He is finally coming to terms with his PTSD and besides talk therapy is going next week to get medication and EMDR.
I don't know if this is true for everyone, I am very aware of when things start going badly for me, when I can usually get help before it feels so hopeless and out of control. Its so new to my husband. He is so detached and numb. He has never told anyone before me about his childhood. Now he says he doesn't love me. He leaves and sleeps nights in his truck and goes to work. He's in the driveway. I see him do that. Its like he doesn't want to be with me, but not too far away. Then a day later he says he does. Then he says he doesn't. I am feeling alone and helpless. I know what that lack of emotional connection feels like. I have been through it myself. He has even read all about the symptoms he has having. He just can't seem to be able to apply it to himself.. I want him to hang in there, at least he starts EMDR and medication. It helps me so much. I am hoping it does for him as well.
As much as I understand first hand about PTSD, I'm not sure how much longer I can stand the not knowing if and when he's coming home. I have done most all the things he is doing now. With my past though, it is extremely hard. I love him. I am certain he loves me, just can't feel it right now. I feel rejected, even though I know better.
When do you call it quits? How long do you hang on and hope before you have to think of your well-being? From what I read its tough enough to be in a relationship with someone who has it, even when your emotional healthy. How do you handle things when you both have PTSD?
I have been diagnosed with PTSD for at least the 20 years. I realize now I suffered with PTSD more than likely as a child, except it no one thought a child could have PTSD. In the 60's, I don't even think it existed or was called PTSD.
Between my childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse and graduating into two physically and emotionally abusive marriage; I guess I am an expert on what not to do. I did it anyway.
I am 51. I finally was able to see my pattern. Met a man. Dated for 2 1/2 years and married in May 2012. I looked for all the signs of an abuser. He seemed to be the one who I would finally have a healthy relationship.
To my surprise, 6 months into the marriage he became a different man. Like a switch that had been turned on. Rages and anger. No physical, just verbal and emotional abuse. I've had no symptoms for many years. Suddenly, it was like I had never been better from my PTSD. Retraumatized, I'm back in therapy and medicated. He triggered me and I have triggered him. We recently had flashbacks at the same time. Not something I recommend for couples to do together.
My husband has been diagnosed with PTSD because of his abusive childhood with two alcoholic parents who beat him. He had always known of the abuse, never really remembered all his childhood. He has big gaps in his memory. For the first time in his life is experiencing the anger, detachment being numb and other symptoms. He is finally coming to terms with his PTSD and besides talk therapy is going next week to get medication and EMDR.
I don't know if this is true for everyone, I am very aware of when things start going badly for me, when I can usually get help before it feels so hopeless and out of control. Its so new to my husband. He is so detached and numb. He has never told anyone before me about his childhood. Now he says he doesn't love me. He leaves and sleeps nights in his truck and goes to work. He's in the driveway. I see him do that. Its like he doesn't want to be with me, but not too far away. Then a day later he says he does. Then he says he doesn't. I am feeling alone and helpless. I know what that lack of emotional connection feels like. I have been through it myself. He has even read all about the symptoms he has having. He just can't seem to be able to apply it to himself.. I want him to hang in there, at least he starts EMDR and medication. It helps me so much. I am hoping it does for him as well.
As much as I understand first hand about PTSD, I'm not sure how much longer I can stand the not knowing if and when he's coming home. I have done most all the things he is doing now. With my past though, it is extremely hard. I love him. I am certain he loves me, just can't feel it right now. I feel rejected, even though I know better.
When do you call it quits? How long do you hang on and hope before you have to think of your well-being? From what I read its tough enough to be in a relationship with someone who has it, even when your emotional healthy. How do you handle things when you both have PTSD?
