New Here

[bitterfight_]

Where do I start? I guess with: hello! I'm new here.

Okay so I was diagnosed in August, formally, with PTSD after years of therapy and running in circles of depression and anxiety. I'm totally new to PTSD (yes I know I have had ptsd now formally for 1-2 months but I've had it for years).

If some of you didn't know, don't know, or just are finding out (like me), you can get PTSD from just about anything. Mine unfortunately comes from years of bullying/assault.

Well, I never knew I had ptsd for a long long long time (I mean I KNEW but I never knew what it was), until I found an AMAZING T in August who formally diagnosed me, and I could not be happier that I've found her. I've went through 4 therapists (2 if you exclude school counsellors and my current T) and I just kept walking in circles. Not anymore. But now I'm running out of insurance to see her and she is the first person I've learned to trust in YEARS. I'm so afraid to lose her but I don't have the money to keep seeing her... What should I tell her? I speak to her in 2 days.

Secondly, here's where my latest issue lies. Last week I had a major panic attack in my chemistry class and had to leave the classroom. When my chemistry professor talked to me about it (she was really understanding) she referred me to this centre at school for disabilities so I could do tests and get accommodations to help me feel more relaxed in the college I'm in. I went to this centre and the receptionist(?) was utterly rude. I said "my professor sent me here to get accommodations for writing exams and other stuff" and she looked me in the eye and said "you know this is a centre for people with disabilities... right?" And I said "yes..." and it shocked me that she said this and then wouldn't give me the papers until I told her what I had! I'm partly "how dare you?" And partly "maybe I shouldn't even bother" because they assign you a counsellor and they also let ALL of your teachers know your disability and I don't want sympathy but I don't want to be treated rudely either. I emailed someone at my school, like a president of services or something, and he got back to me once and said he would set up a time to meet with me and discuss how poorly they treated me at the centre but he hasn't gotten back to me yet. That was almost 2 weeks ago... Once i got the sheets though I also have to get my T to sign it and the sheet says how long I could have ptsd, if it's chronic or acute or just treatable meaning only my symptoms can be treated and I'm not sure if I want to see the answer to that. What do you guys think? Am I wasting my time getting accommodations at school? Did I misinterpret what the receptionist meant? Am I overreacting?

Sorry for the long-ness of this post. It's just, I'm new here and I don't know how to deal with all of this yet in this new setting especially knowing that now it's diagnosed. That I'm not just like, saying it to get out of homework or something.

 

[WillyKat]

That situation really sucks and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. On top of getting a diagnosis, you have to air it out so to speak.

As for the receptionist, she's all set for dealing with physical disabilities, or doesn't care much for those with emotional issues, or has had to deal with people trying to scam the system, or maybe having a bad day herself. You will meet more like her I fear.

I remember going to the campus counselling center, being referred to a psychiatrist, and having an awful experience. I can't understand how that guy could ever help anyone.

I think though that those people that are being told are bound to keep it to themselves. My two cents worth of advice is to take it one day at a time and see how things go. This moment will pass.

 

[arfie]

Don't accuse me of experting, but as I currently understand PTSD, it is not defined by the trauma but by problems processing the post traumatic stress of the trauma. The doctor who gave me this understanding compared it to an infection in a broken bone. Doesn't typically matter what broke the bone in the healing phases. As I currently understand... It is, indeed, confusing.

You might be wasting your time getting special accommodations at school, but you never know until you try. When I tried, I lucked into a good counselor who helped me hold steady for the semester. The rest I worked out with the professors, but... Seems important to note I didn't graduate... Might yet...

 

[bitterfight_]

Thanks for the advice. I know I'm going to meet more people like her.. But it's the fact that she should be educated enough to keep her problems separate from that of her job which involves working with people who have issues of their own. Or at least keep her rude comments to herself or change the way she addresses people who don't "look" like they have issues.

As for accommodations I don't need much. I just need some tutors - only a list through them, a place to write exams, and for someone to tell me where to go when I have panic attacks or flashbacks. I think that's reasonable... I don't think it's a waste of time to just try.

As for ptsd yeah I know what it is, I'm just new to it all, like learning what my symptoms were caused by all this time.. It's very new and a new learning curve for me but it kind of all fell into place with the diagnosis. It makes sense now so now I can begin to deal with it.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Ok so you're not in the states....or you are but you're from another country? I can't tell, just noticed you spell words a bit differently. Anyway, do you feel comfortable saying where you're from or rather going to school? Disability laws vary from country to country so what I say may not apply to you.

In the states there are tons of disability laws. I am registered with my disabilities office and they are very helpful. I got an accommodation letter from my doctor once. The disabilities office writes an accommodation letter for me every semester that I give to my instructors. It does not state my diagnosis and I have the final say as to what it includes. If I didn't want to give it to an instructor, I am not forced to.

That secretary is an idiot. Dare I say MOST of those registered at my school don't have a physical disability? (ADD anyone?) Ignore her ignorance. It's worth it to be proactive and get your ducks in a row. It may save you in the future.

I am allowed to take tests in the testing center and get extra time for all exams. My instructors know I sometimes need breaks from class if I'm anxious. There is a long list of allowed accommodations, but my doctor had to back up all requests.

Good luck!

 

[bitterfight_]

Ok so you're not in the states....or you are but you're from another country?

I didn't see this message until now, so my apologies!

I'm not from the states, no. I'm from Canada :) I don't feel comfortable talking about which province or college/university however. Since I've posted this, I actually filed for disability within my school (for a max of 1 year, pending re-evaluation). I received accommodations to take exams in a space and not close to other people, etc. Mine does not state my diagnosis either, although the records are in the disabilities office. The same things go for me pretty much. I am really relieved by the help I'm getting (I should be, I pay enough to go here..).

As for that secretary, you're correct in saying she's an idiot. Most of the people registered at my school don't have a physical disability either. I was surprised by her ignorance as the statistics for mental illness and psychiatric disorders at my school is quite high. It really was worth it to sign up, I'm so glad I didn't let her affect me. I made an anonymous complaint to the board of directors, and they reassured me she wouldn't make such comments again. The same goes for me for accommodations, alas, I am so thankful for all the breaks I get.

Thank you!