New Life 9 Years Ago

[Crow]

Nine years ago today after losing 89 pounds and walking 45 miles of the 3 day, I passed out at work. By the time the emts arrived I was waking up. I didn't want to. The place I went to was warm and safe. I felt safer than I ever have. I wanted to stay there. Even though I was talking - barely - and could remember my ssn, the emt couldn't get a bp or pulse - my heartbeat was that weak. It was over an hour before I registered any sort of pressure. I called the church because I had no one else to call. The secretary just said get better. She never told the pastor I was in emergency. That was the breaking point with that church. I called my middle brother who lived in the area. He came over and after several hours, I decided to go home. I was still sitting on the gurney I'd come in on and no one had stopped by in over two hours. We left. When I met with my weight loss doctor the next day, she sent me back to emergency where I was admitted overnight and had every test imaginable done. She was worried about a blood clot in my lungs. My heart, lungs, and brain registered normal. In the coming weeks I paid out of pocket $10k for other tests. 48 hour EEG, MRI, chemical stress test that sent me into a weeks long ptsd event. That was horrifying. Then I went back to my T who I was only seeing every few months. She said PTSD. I said what? We started on therapy specific to trauma healing and boom, miracles began to happen. I went from barely being able to walk with a cane, to running a mile (well walk-jogging, but still). I quit the boards I was on. I quit the church. I quit the friends that were never around when I asked for help. I slowly am quitting my family. I am learning not to quit my job. It's been a journey. Sometimes dark sometimes beautiful. Not sure I would change much of anything.

 

[AngryVictim]

Nine years ago today after losing 89 pounds and walking 45 miles of the 3 day, I passed out at work...

"Not sure I would change much of anything." Wow. Thank you for sharing this incredibly moving, personal journey. Thank you for your strength!

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Sometimes dark sometimes beautiful. Not sure I would change much of anything.

You're whole story and the progress you've made is amazing, but these summarizing statements a beautiful.

 

[Kolten]

I love ur positivity about your journey. Its enlightening. I'm sorry u had all the issues but it sounds like u realize they made u into a stronger person today. A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step :) Good for u!

 

[NatBird]

@CrowFeather
This is amazing. I admire your courage and determination.