New threat new symptoms

[Benefit]

I wasn't sure if this was where I should be posting.
This is all a bit complicated. I have been dealing with PTSD from a sexual assault that happened about a year and a half ago.

During this week, a coworker has made a serious threat against my life and they have the means to go through with the threat (I found out this person is extremely unstable and has hallucinations and delusions about me). I have gone through all the channels involving police and the company I work for. I feel myself having PTSD symptoms all over again. I am absolutely terrified. The person who has made the threat has been released and will be interviewed again at a later date to see if they can be held for longer, but the company I work for has recommended I go about business as usual under the assumption that I cannot be afraid to come to work. I am so scared though, and I keep imagining I will see them everywhere I go. I have taken the next week + off work, and I don't want to leave my house. I can't even imagine going back to the workspace I shared with them, especially given the chance they might show up. They don't even know if they can have this person fired because of how the company is set up. My whole body feels on high alert, I'm physically ill, my head won't stop hurting, I'm shaking and sweating and I keep seeing what will happen to me. I have no support for this either because I don't think anyone really understands what is happening with me and how it feels. One of the things I had talked to about with my counselor before was letting go of the feeling that there is a threat out there, and trying to relax from this hypervigilent state. Now I just feel so terrified because there is a real threat out there waiting for me.

I don't know what to do.

 

[EveHarrington]

I’m so sorry you work for a company that permits this kind of behavior! I don’t really have any advice for you. Hugs.

 

[Abstract]

I'm really sorry. It is hard enough reliving the past and being hypervigilent about it but when there is present stuff going on that complicates things a lot. Have you had any trauma support like a trauma therapist or psychiatrist? You no longer have a t? Sending you safe thoughts.

 

[Benefit]

Thank you for the replies, and the good thoughts. The counselor I was seeing was an assault counselor. I never saw a psychiatrist, just my family doctor to talk about things from a medical side, I think I might make an appointment with her after the weekend. I am no longer seeing a counselor, I also find it really difficult to have the initial sessions (I've never been good at therapy, and I've often failed out of it - the last time I was able to go for a few months because I had someone come with me to every session but I eventually did fail out in the end), and I wouldn't be able to see the same person I saw before.

 

[Abstract]

I too have a tendency to think of myself as failing at therapy but in truth anything you can do is a success. You really do deserve some support so please reconsider.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I too strongly suggest that you get yourself back into therapy. It really does work if you would only give it a shot. As far as your workplace goes..... OMG, I can’t imagine even working for a company like this. Are they serious that they expect you to just go on like nothing has ever happened, even though this person has threatened to harm you???? I think I would quit my job at this point. But please don’t hide out in your home, you need to be able to live your life...

Again, please reconsider therapy!!!!

 

[Benefit]

Thanks. I think I will try to get back into it. I really need to talk to someone about all this. I am thinking I might just quit. They have told me they would understand if I wanted to quit. I was going to complete further training with them in 5 months (which would last years) in the same workspace but I was also offered the opportunity to complete the training at a different company across the country. I think I will take the position at the other company (although I will have to leave my family). It beats living in fear or at worst potentially losing my life though.