2notbedefeated
Gold Member
Molly, I am new to this forum and still on moderation. I'm still alittle unsure of what personal information I am allowed to share or not, but you said you wanted to know if others had a similar situtation happen to them. My mother died from pancreatic cancer 14 years ago and my life fell apart from that point on. Today is actually the anniversary date of her death, so, when I read your post I quickly came in touch with feelings that still have to be worked through in my life too.
Also from reading the posts I realized what happened to me this morning when I was in a bookstore. I thought it would be good to get out of the house, but only after an hour I felt clastrophic and anxious and came home, After trying to rest and distract myself with the TV for about another hour or so, I couldn't stand being in the house, so I went back out again. It seems no matter where I go the "panic" ensues me. I finally took a sublingual klonopin and that helped some. Sometimes it feels like it is going to swallow me up, but I press on.
My dad died of lung cancer in January of 2003. So grief really hurts in so many ways and words just are not sufficient to express what you are going through or feeling. Although I can't fully understand your own pain, I know the pain of grief and it was my mother's death that cause a bunch of suppressed stuff to come up and PTSD symptoms began to increase. I don't want to take away from your own pain and struggles, but I can relate atleast in some small way.
This certainly was the "one straw that broke the camels back" in my life. I don't know what its like for you, but I know grief and pain that goes beyond description.
Take care and be kind to yourself:)
Also from reading the posts I realized what happened to me this morning when I was in a bookstore. I thought it would be good to get out of the house, but only after an hour I felt clastrophic and anxious and came home, After trying to rest and distract myself with the TV for about another hour or so, I couldn't stand being in the house, so I went back out again. It seems no matter where I go the "panic" ensues me. I finally took a sublingual klonopin and that helped some. Sometimes it feels like it is going to swallow me up, but I press on.
My dad died of lung cancer in January of 2003. So grief really hurts in so many ways and words just are not sufficient to express what you are going through or feeling. Although I can't fully understand your own pain, I know the pain of grief and it was my mother's death that cause a bunch of suppressed stuff to come up and PTSD symptoms began to increase. I don't want to take away from your own pain and struggles, but I can relate atleast in some small way.
This certainly was the "one straw that broke the camels back" in my life. I don't know what its like for you, but I know grief and pain that goes beyond description.
Take care and be kind to yourself:)
