Night Time Seems To Be The Hardest?

[Nephthys]

Does anyone else find that night time is often the hardest time for them? I find that I am at my most depressed and cry the most at night. I am usually fine earlier in the evenings but as the night drifts on to after 8pm, I often find myself just sitting staring and crying for ages. I often feel completely lost, lonely, and just overwhelmed with grief. Sometimes there might be a particular thread of thought that might come with this, but often its just this huge wave of emotion. It is often coupled with an inability to sleep until near dawn, or until I can at least until I am no longer alone. I have tried so many things to make myself feel better.. tea, herbs, drawing, watching movies, playing guitar… trying to call friends…

Does anyone else experience these night time issues?

Also I get super anxious in the early evening sometimes to the point of not being able to eat.. right around sunset…

 

[Tympre]

I know when I am alone at home at night I get panic attacks. I find it hard to fall asleep these days and then my nights are filled with nightmares so I dont really look forward to it. I do find my anxiety jumps up a notch after the sun sets. It does not go down till the sun is up in the morning either, I get up before the sun to go to work. Out of a average day yes night time is my worst. I have to make sure the house is locked up tight, my dog is in his bed, fans off and all doors except the kids bedroom and the downstairs bath are shut. If not then after I go to my room, shut lock the door, turn on the closet light, turn off the overhead light, take my meds and do my best to fall asleep as soon as possible, I wont sleep. Every bump, creek,pop,little noise makes me break out in sweats.

Now if my soulmate is home then he sleeps downstairs so I can feel safe, because if he sleeps in my room with me the same fears surface. The later I stay up, the more depression takes over as I realize all to well, my anxiety and fears are controlling me. Its a rather long listed ritual for me to go to bed, but as we have been doing this for four years it only takes seconds, far longer to type it out hehehe. I find ensuring I only use my room for relaxation and my bed for sleep has really aided in me in falling asleep. I usually have my comfort channel on(weather channel) for hours before my brain unwinds enough to even consider attempting sleep. Tonight its 3 hours past when I usually go to bed and I am still wide awake.

 

[Nephthys]

Tympre Its the same for me. I have to have things locked and all the doors closed. Any noise wakes me up. If I take melotonin sometimes I can drop off to sleep in about a half hour, but if anything at all wakes me.. I can't get back to sleep. Theres like too much adrenaline after that. Its the same for me a long nightly ritual to get to sleep. Usually involving a hot bath, music, reading, and playing with the cat. Sometimes I put on a movie or something but if I am too anxious the movies don't help because I feel like I can't hear my surroundings. Its awful its not as though I am consciously listening out for things… I just get more anxious if I can't hear whats going on in the house. Unfortunately I am unemployed at the moment, so its been really hard for me to keep a regular sleep schedule, and my boyfriend works late into the night so that wakes me up… so I find myself getting on to his schedule, which is really much too late, because I don't get any day light hours! I also work in the bedroom which I wish I could change but can't for the time being. (Freelance work from home.)

 

[Tympre]

My soulmate made me some soundscape music when I was deployed. It had boats rocking,waves, rain, thunderstorms, and some soft music like you would hear in a really nice spa. Perhaps that would help? It did when I was deployed, but not so much at home as I get worried when I cant hear my children.. I know I dont really hear them through several walls and one floor but hey the mind can believe some amazing things.

 

[franciemarnie]

Being pretty deaf is good for one thing. I hear no creaks in the night!

I am like everyone here. Night is the worst. By 4 am - oh brother! If I was feeling like that all the time, well... I shudder at the thought. I'd be locked up pretty quickly. I sleep usually at dawn.

I used to get extremely anxious around dinner time, which was when my father came home when I was a kid. That has faded over the years but in my 20's when I lived alone, I'd break out in sweats, my heart would race, Id feel uncomfortably hot, unable to settle down. I still like the sound of the dishwasher because as a kid, that meant one bad part of the night was almost over. Our bodies remember.

Late at night, the best thing is if I can become totally absorbed in a movie or something. Total absorption is key to hijack the nervous system. Sometimes though I am too physically anxious and walking back and forth at a slow steady rate listening to non-triggering music can calm me for a while.

This last year, when I wake - that is when I will cry. Often I will wake with nausea, and then I know something needs to come out.

 

[Tympre]

I read that allot here, that nausea means something needs to come out. I never thought of it that way. I get nauseous often, several times a day mostly in the morning about 2 hours into work. and then about 1-2 hours before then end of work. Definitely something to contemplate.

 

[Notsowild]

Yes night time is the hardest for me too. As soon as it gets dark I can feel my anxiety rise. I also have one of those brains that never turns off.

@franciemarnie

our bodies remember

I've never really connected the two! I am a child sexual abuse survivor and my father would make his nightly visit to my bedroom. I was always on alert and never slept well as a child!

 

[ebci1]

Yes I find night time hard especially before bedtime and getting to sleep. Waking up early morning and not being able to get back to sleep. Having flashbacks or just crying and not knowing why? It can really be hard at times. I have a lot of sleep issues. But sometimes have really good sleep schedule/ routines, but things can disrupt it easily :(

 

[macca]

Same here. For me, flashbacks only happen at night. Then there's the nightmares too. Hyperarousal usually only happens at night as well, and starts as the sun starts to set. I can't sleep with the lights out anymore (opposite to before) if I'm on my own - if my husband is there, I feel safe enough to have them off. But never when alone. There are triggers from interpersonal stuff too - they can happen anytime though.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm worst in the evenings. At one point I had horrendous morning anxiety and felt that my world turned upside-down. It's now back to being bad at night.

My sexual abuse was during the day. My mom's drunkenness was during the day. But, I did have to deal with both of my parents in the evening and that was always stressful.

 

[Philippa]

I have noticed this to be the case for me as well. Although on xmas day I cried so much during the day, but I guess that is an exception as it is a day for family, and I had none except for the cat, which was great but not the same as sharing food and laughter with loved ones.

But often I do tend to get to bed after 3am and do have a pattern of sometimes waking at 4a.m, which has been going on for a while now...maybe 2 years on and off.

I just started noticing that I was feeling progressively sadder in the last few hours of night tonight when I saw this thread so that was interesting.

 

[EverOnly358]

@Nephthys, @Tympre, I used to be this way. My significant other would sleep outside of my bedroom, I would have the bedroom door closed and locked, plus I tried various natural remedies for sleep, I tried all kinds of ways to relax, including watching TV and movies. In the end, I figured out, as long as I was doing other self care well (vitamins, water, eating (but watching what I eat), sunlight, exercise) my sleep took care of itself. So, maybe it seems backwards... but perhaps it's time to relax and try something new. Eat or drink in bed, and during the day get out and get some exercise, even if it's just a walk to the end of the lane. All this being said, it's not easy! Childhood Emotion Neglect is so tough to overcome. When added to childhood abuse, jeez, nearly impossible. But I'm not worried... we'll all figure it out.