Nightmaire

[Alex1991]

Last night i was dreaming i was back in london, at a garden party with friends (i couldnt put faces on these people) then for some reason we come under automatic weapons fire, the snap sound of the rounds going above my head. i scramble into cover with rounds landing all around me. kicking up the dirt and just unrelenting bursts of PKM fire. Then the people im with get hit. rounds smashing into their bodys covering me in blood and i cant move, cant get to them or get away. Then i wake up. sweating. like i was back there. i sort of feel the dust back in my nostrils but when i try to clear it out nothings there. and also the adrenaline and state of being alert. Then im well awake and not getting back to sleep.

This keeps happening.

Was taken home from work yesterday by my boss coz i was in shit state, and wasnt in today. got and emergency appointment with the doc tomorrow as for the first time in my life the other day i felt like quitting. I just felt whats the point. everythings bullshit. I dont like people. i dont like society. i want to be free and alone. Only the dead see the end of war.

But that did subside, however it scared me. it terrifys me. i dont want to die.

Iv decided im going to get a diary or something tomorrow, get everything i feel on a day to day basis on paper. Iv started using a blog aswell...just to give everyone here a rest lol
I feel i could just post and post for hours but i dont wana be selfish an subject everyone to that.

 

[Squaddiedave]

Rambling mode this morning mate so all I'll say is your doing the right thing with the doc, people here have got your back as much as we can.
Diaries a good idea I think
Laters buddy

 

[Anglesachse]

Morning Alex cocker.

Firstly mate.
Don`t take the nightmare at face value. What we see in dreams is not a 1 to 1 of real life. Everything in the dream world has a meaning but the story is usually hiden and needs looking for.

Get your self a good Dream dictionary. It will start giving you the basics, the meanings of what you are seeing, just a quick run down of what you posted:

"A crowd of People" Group: To see a group in your dream refers to the merging of various aspects of your character and personality.
"Party" party: If the party is a bad one, then it indicates that you are unsure of your social skills.
"Automatic Weapon fire" gun: To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You feel victimized in a situation or that you are being targeted
"Blood" blood: To dream that others are bleeding signifies an emotional cry for help

If you break the dream down into what each aspect or component is, you start to see that your body and mind are screaming for help mate.
You are not dreaming about your time in the Army. Your subconscious is telling you that something is wrong and that she is trying to deal with it.

Use a dream book to write the stuff down into, so you can then check into what it was about. After a while of you dealing with the issues you have, you will see a difference in what you are dreaming.

On another note:

I have just started reading a book my therapist said I should have a look at. Now I don`t know if your a book worm or not, but maybe have a look, it is a bit of an eye opener.

It is called:

In an Unspoken Voice, how the body releases trauma and restores goodness.
Peter A. Levine PhD
ISBN: 978-1-55643-943-8

 

[Squaddiedave]

Once again Anglesachse is bang on!
If your dreaming your in REM sleep which is when your noodle processes fragments of memory with out, out side influence. The memories are dis jointed and come as images.
Deffo get a dream dictionary, and right down as much as you can remember pal.

 

[Alex1991]

will do, thanks guys. had two last night that wernt bad dreams...just a bit wierd. will get it all to paper.

 

[jamz]

Link Removed our dreams

Alex1991,
This site is what I use most times. When I am able to annalyze.
I have had to get in the habit of keeping a note pad in positions I kept
my cigarettes or water. Writing in bed was a security for me, my comfort zone.
Leave a small pad there, one in your coat pocket. Whenever you want to jot down
something. Just use your own voice.
Also, I bought a digital voice recorder... they are great.
It can pick up mu voice or across the room. I can mute out side noise or include them
So if I wanted to have a somber conversation on a corner with traffic around.
I can listen to it later and understand that there were more reasons to why I was feeling
what I was in my head. External sounds like being at a lake, or in the city, etc.
But to have the audio recording with you on hand after you wake is an asset.
Check your phone, most if not all have a recording ability and storage.

Just try to dot down simple things, and eventually it will flow.
Try a technique called Free Writing, where just begin writing. Write without
cursors, periods, expression... just write. I hope the free dom of writing helps
bring out the inside.
Cause you got a lot to say and are an intelligent guy.

 

[Jimmy1]

Actually read the book 'Once a Warrior, always a Warrior'. The good Colonel explains it well.
Yes we have traumas in our life, but our nightmares are triggered by something going on in our present lives, whether it be a family dispute or an argument at work, or much more.
Give me a couple of days to reset my head.