Childhood No Memory Just Still Shot Image

[katz]

Hi, yes, I have what sounds similar. I'll give some details in case it helps, but I'll warn you t...

No problem. Lateintheday
I have some very odd snapshots also. I remember some very strange things. I remember focusing on the over head light. (I have no square lights in my present home) I remembered pictures of "corners of the ceiling". Also a "place" where I could focus on and disappear to when I needed to. One of my oddest is that I have memories on sitting on the floor in every room of the house.

Also, most of my memory pictures are from the 3rd person. I'm up there floating, and looking down. Kinda weird, huh? (Although, I know that it is very commen to do this) I think that it was just some thing that I learned to do when I was very young, so it just happened, automatically. How terrible.

--and believe me, it is a hard habit to break.

 

[LateInThe Day]

No problem. Lateintheday
I have some very odd snapshots also. I remember some very strange things. I remem...

Hi @katz. Yes, I've heard it can be common to have third person memories (disassociation? Unsure, still bit new to all this!). My memories are all very much in the first person in a strange, intense way. I remember them as if I'm looking out into the world through eye-shaped holes, if that makes sense.

As to memories generally, and I wouldn't want to suggest it's always the case, but I've long suspected my blanks and snapshots do have more attached but my brain isn't allowing me to 'see' them as they're too disturbing at this point/ possibly ever/I'm not ready to process them yet. I often find that when I have a memory it's as if a door creaks open on a very full cupboard and a little bit gets forced out, because the cupboard's so jammed full and my brain can't keep containing it all. It feels as if the inside of the cupboard is chaotic and crammed. I'm working on allowing the ones I have and trying not to push on the ones that won't come, or possibly happened at such a young age that they aren't fully formed - but I find it can be a tricky process. Good luck.

 

[lostandtonguetied]

I was molested from as early as I remember until I was 8, by my grandpa. I can remember a lot of the ab...

I've had that too, just seeing a room repeatedly and being scared to death every time. I had family abused too. I don't know much about what to do with it so I continue to block it all out. When it comes up I have an anxiety attack and it gets bad but as soon as its over I try to act like nothing happened and everything is okay

 

[Stickler]

No problem. Lateintheday
I have some very odd snapshots also. I remember some very strange things. I remem...

I have one alter who can go out of body.

Apparently this is reported by survivors sometime in severe abuse.

 

[katz]

I have one alter who can go out of body.

Apparently this is reported by survivors sometime in severe...

An "alter"? What would be a good description of this "alter" that you speak of? Is it just a "name" for the .... being that you become when you feel like you're leaving your body?

I have never thought of it that way. Hmmm.

 

[LMaKenna]

I understand about the disassociation. For me there are quite a few memories where i can see it 3rd person(like i'm watching from outside) OR 1st person(like it's happening to me. I think maybe the 3rd person is a way to remember, but treat it like it didn't happen to you, it was somebody else in a story or dream. 1st person is when it really hits you. when you can see every freckle on his wrist, you can see where the boards join on the floor under your face, when you can feel the texture of the bark when you put your hand there to stop from falling down again.

I hope reading that doesn't affect anyone badly.
Anyway, i think 3rd person is a slightly less scary way for your mind to handle a memory.

 

[katz]

When i look at the thread again, maybe what i said above doesn't really apply.
However, i do understan...

Welcome to the forum!

 

[katz]

Hi @katz. Yes, I've heard it can be common to have third person memories (disa...

It's funny that you use the "cubbard" idea. I have used that before also.

I see my cubbard as being so full that it needs rubber bands to hold it closed. I'm so afraid to even crack the door open because I am afraid that it will be too much. I have had it "opened" (for sake of description) only a couple of times. I ended up in the hospital. And, I don't want to ever, ever go back again.

I don't know how I will let any more out...maybe only as ...steam or water vapor. I'm so afraid of losing control.