No Photos At The Wedding

[NicG]

My older brother got married yesterday to a lovely woman, and my whole family was really super happy. Everything went perfectly and beautifully, I had no anxiety or anything, up until we realised this morning that the stupid photographer didn't take ANY photos of my family together. NOTHING of my parents with my brother and sister-in-law, nothing with my parents and me (I was a bridesmaid)...

My Mum ADORES photos, and she's absolutely heartbroken and beside herself. She spent half of today weeping and crying about it. I've never seen her cry like that except for when her brother died. She says it's like the whole memory will be tainted now because she didn't get her precious family photo. I'm really sad and the image of her crying like that is stuck in my head.
How do I help? Can I even help? I want to make it better :(

 

[Sammyiam]

Maybe you could get the photographer to some how get a whole lot of photos from the day together and somehow photoshop them into one. I'm sorry that has happened but maybe some artist could put a different take on it and sort something out for you.

Sorry I'm not much help

Sammy

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm so sorry! Maybe the photoshop option would work? I know at my sister's wedding she had to direct the photographer regarding which photos she wanted, and even so, my dad had to step in and say "ok, his side only" and then I stepped in at one point and said "ok, just us siblings with my sister (the bride)" There is SO much to remember at the wedding, so I hope that perhaps the photoshop option would work for you.....

 

[StarChild]

Dear @NicG, I'm so sorry that this photographer didn't make his job properly. What a stupido!

- Another idea; Could you send a mail to all guests of the wedding, and explain in short what happened. And ask all of them, to send their digital photo's per mail? Maybe there's some good material to "patch" together with such a software as photoshop or similar? Sending gentle comforting hugs your way, if you accept them. :hug::hug:

 

[Friday]

Pre-photoshop (the horror, no sarcasm) I once made a daisy chain project for a similar problem. I made copies of the best single shots of each of the people, cut out the person in it, and glued them on a matte board. I think we had something like 12 or 15 primary people? Anyhow. Made a circle, with some people "holding hands", others waving, two air kissing, one looking like placing a benediction... However I could, I linked everyone together. Then I drug the durn thing around and had people sign by their picture.

It ended up being both a pretty whimsical yet touching piece

I still kick myself for not doing 2 linked rings, like wedding bands, though. :P

 

[scout86]

What about getting everyone together, in their wedding regalia, on another day? Depending on distance and stuff that might be complicated, but you could do it ANY day or days.

 

[Justmehere]

This sounds heartbreaking - while nothing will replace photos of that at, this sounds like a good occasion for a special family photoshoot! Maybe even the wedding photographer would do it for free as to miss these kinds of photos is a HUGE blunder. Either way, you could talk to your mother and brother about it and see what they want to do.

In the end, being a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, to what extent you can bear without it getting you down too much, is probably better than any photo. Photos can be lost or destroyed by all kinds of calamities - but the love you have for your mum and your family will mean more in the long run than anything else.

 

[littlelotte]

They wouldn't be from the same day, but what about going back to the venue all dressed up and taking them? As long as you mean the staged photos, that seems a pretty easy solution.

I am sooo sorry this happened. My brother got married about a month ago and the photographers didn't take pictures of the groom's side. My mom had to argue with them and force them to take the photos. They claimed the 'groom's side' wasn't on the list they had been sent; we checked, it was. It seems to be becoming more and more difficult to find decent photographers and even harder to find ones who are decent people.

 

[KwanYingirl]

You all still have the dresses you wore, the men can rent their tuxes and you can get photos done. And the photographer should NOT charge you.

 

[Nam]

I would say to gather the photos you do have of the wedding and collage them together in a photo frame. It might not be the posed photo that she wanted, but the happiness of the day will be evident and nothing will feel like it's missing. http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71VxnuFv8FL._SL1500_.jpg I actually really like unposed photos. It really shows people as they are...not the person they want to portray.

Photoshopping people together is not the best idea. It always looks wrong. Perspective, lighting, white balance, focus all have to be exactly the same. I know, I've tried!

 

[Powder]

Similar gutwrench to when I spent all of my brother's reception taking digital stills and planned on making a gift of them to them and my memory card was corrupted and all of them were not accessible. I totally feel for your family on this loss. However, it is a good time to consider the fact that fires or corrupted memory cards or faulty photographers will happen, but NOTHING can take away the memories and the love.

This is a big perceived deprivation. I was so traumatized by the perceived loss that I now have a phobia of photos, like I don't EVER want to get my hopes up again like that only to have it taken away. So now I cannot get into photos and am photo-phobic, if that's a thing. I don't like my picture or any pictures. Find all of it triggering now. I don't know if it's just because of the one incident or what.

Nonetheless, I agree with above posters in that finding a non-catastrophic "silver lining" somewhere as a family would be a good and healing step.

 

[NicG]

WOW, thankyou so much for all of the love guys! This is why I love this forum, seriously.

Mum's calmed down a bit now, she got to talk to her sisters and I think that was quite therapeutic for her. While it won't be the same, we think we're going to call the venue and ask if we can spend an hour or two in the grounds before new year all dressed up, hopefully with the same makeup and hair people. But one of OUR friends who we actually trust with photographs.
That said, the image of her mourning her precious photos is haunting me. I'm hoping that goes away soon.....??

@Muse ouch, I can't imagine how gutted you must have been!! That's awful... I can understand the reaction you've had!!! Why do such beautiful occasions have to turn so horrible?

@littlelotte I know right? Upon further investigation, he's actually an ACCOUNTANT. Who has a photography side business. I looked further into the photos he's put up from other people's weddings and they're so... blah. I don't understand how you can charge a lot of good money for a service you aren't even trained in, especially on what is the most important day of a lot of people's lives.

Photos can be lost or destroyed by all kinds of calamities - but the love you have for your mum and your family will mean more in the long run than anything else

Too true, too true. I'm glad we've all at least been able to support her while she's been so upset. I'm hoping we can just make a nice fun day of it all.

Now to figure out how to mention this to the bride and groom... I think in the craziness of it all they haven't realised yet.