Nose Diving To Rock Bottom Again.

[Panda]

Went and did it this time, now I'm without a home and family, it's been like this on and off before during my time with the beast, but recently we relocated south, back to where all her family is, this time she can hide behind her family and they will back her 100% - already none of her family will answer their phone. All I know for sure is, I'm not welcome and not wanted, which I can understand, however I don't know what I am going to do, I can't be housed on base due to stressors, I can't drive anymore ( med restriction + she needs car for special needs son) I have no money being a lowly pte, no idea where the hell I am ment to go now.

I'm bitter, I blame the army whole heartedly for this, I'm not even delusional about it, I do not understand how one organization can hire & subcontract so many f*cking incompent oxygen theives, for any Aussies reading, I've been mec 301 since march 2011, since then I've signed my mec 304 and my mec 401 as everyone treating me is reporting I am 100% f*cked up and will not work again and recommend med discharge. Everytime this paperwork gets submitted it somehow magically vanishes and the mecrb deny ever receiving any paper work for me !

Since relocating, I handed my med docs to my MO on the first appt, at Easter, since then every appt has been pointless because they have assured me that they well and truely have lost my f*cking documents.

The latest from the MO is I won't be discharged for at least another year, sure why not, ive got nothing else that left that can be stripped from my life.

FTA, and this country I'm disgusted I ever served either.

Sabre, If you read this, I'm still gonna take your advice on that other stuff

 

[Anglesachse]

Sorry to hear that is is gonna take that long and that they are f*cking you around Panda Mucker.

I guess the only plus, is that you know that you have MO saying you are screwed.

Get the docs again, resend and make copies. maybe spam the f*ckers and send multiple copies through the post, via Mail etc.

If it has been Documented that you are unfit for service, could you not speak to a Padre or something. At least in the Brit army they cary some weight, along the lines of how you are suffering and of no use. Might give the whole thing a kick start.

Just a idea

 

[Ned]

Angle's idea about the Padre is a good one. For the rest of them, it sounds like a numbers retention policy crap thing is going on. Keep on being a nuisance, Panda.

 

[Jimmy1]

Panda mate, I will find you the best advocate in Brisbane if you want mate, just say the word.
I now have all the best contacts with the Peacekeepers and Peacemakers as well as the other ESO's.

Jimmy

 

[Panda]

Thanks for the well wishes guys, Jimmy, yes please preferably north side of town, as not being able to drive is a real PITA, I've managed to smooth things over a little, my boy was extremely upset and confussed, so I gotta try to get him to unsee what he saw. Given that I had nowhere I could possibly stay, it's the spare room for me for now.

I went into work this morning and broke down, they helped me get my head straight again, didn't even realise at the time, but they were getting me to do small tasks, fix some small problems around the office, getting me back into the right frame of mind, the fixer / accomplisher mindset.

I spoke to the DVAOBAS and they advised me I should have been assessed for PI% on each of my injuries and conditions at the time they were accepted, he also pointed out that due to dva not following their own set processes there is approx 1000 people on gallipoli BCKS, in the same boat as me, who just don't know any better / doctors don't know either.

The DVAOBAS has put a higher priority on my remaining claims. He has also requested a dva case manager / coordinator to manage me, being such a complex case.

After contacting my psych today he is writing a letter to request an "out of session" mecrb to bypass 90% of the idiots who deal with mec & discharge process, realistically having me discharged this year (massive relief washes over me).

Got escorted home by a welfare officer, as the work place had to make sure I wasn't gonna go postal and my Wifes welfare etc.

Whole day my heart rate has been through the roof, brains been real fuzzy, I feel more buggered now than what I would after a big stomp.

One day at a time.

-Panda

 

[Jimmy1]

Mate, my ex-wife an I are still friends thankfully, but we had an awful breakup with kids screaming etc.
My step son who is now 22, was 10 when I got home from Timor and things started to go pair shaped. He told me not so long ago that he used to lay in bed and hear my drunken rants at times. All my kids copped abuse from me for which I am not proud of. I went for help back then and was misdiagnosed. It wasn't until 06 after Iraq that I was diagnosed, but the damage was done.

Your wife needs to understand what PTSD is mate, and she really in my opinion does have a choice. You are not the person she married after all. Well you are in person. She is only running to her family for protection and if you were to record yourself, you would be quite surprised.

I am going in to see the blokes tomorrow morning and will PM you with the details when I get home. Unless of course it takes a bit longer.

Keep your chin up mate.

 

[Wagon]

Hey Panda, Sorry to here about the Family. It's not a consolation, but this is the way of the beast. Same shit here. wife left, banned from inlaws house (I wasn't even violent......only spiteful in my own vicious way).

The important thing seems to be, take care of self first. That's the priority. The rest will fall into place after that. Some of it may not be to your liking, but you'll be in better shape to handle it.

Hang tough
Wagon

 

[Zipperhead]

Keep the chin up Panda. If she's still talking, you are still okay.

 

[tho9900]

ok... I have pushed Nichol to the edge so many times I have NO idea why she still sticks around for this shit.. honest if I were her I woulda kicked me to the curb long ago.... brother just try,, never say you arent good enough.. never say you hurt them too much or will hurt them in the future so its not worth it.. etc,... let THEM make that decision...

honest?? ok this is just me spouting off.. tell her you arent in control of yourself but you are willing to work on it,.. (if you really want to do that) tell her your plan.. you rly need a support group... beyond us even tho we got your back.. try to find somethng local even a church group religious or not..

The family are a big deal bro... and if that is your fate I still got your flank... as so all of us..

I agree 100% on the FTN (Navy for me) or FTA for u,, f*ck them... they did this shit to us and dont wanna own up.. .. BUT.......... look at the things in your life that you can count on.. be honest with your wife... let your kids know there are times daddy will be a little "off" they will understand... I was maybe 3ish when my dad was headed to Nam with the Marines in 69 but I knew ALL TOO WELL what that meant and would cry at night for him...especially when the news came on...

omg thank you you helped me put a finger on it.. ya I am angry but for the most part at the wrong people. its the politicians that allow someone to spend 4 tours in Iraq and 1 in the 'Stan then wanna send him back in Afghanistan that suck... true story from a friend of mines hubby who freaked and now he is an ex...and omg uncontrolled PTSD

she herself almost didnt make it out of all that...

cant say more than if I didnt have Nichol... or now Nala (my dog) who knows if I would even be here... I am way too familiar with the VA Crises line.... and Jimmy can help you with the AU equiv's but ya.. take care of yourself.. and your family.. they arent so delicate if their hubby/daddy is a soldier.. they are soldiers themselves.. and in a sense prolly more durable than you.. honest...

you are in my thoughts dude.. Doc is waiting here to pull you out.. but you gotta pull yourself together and make sure the unit makes it out as well... as in everyone else here..

Semper Fi... you can do this one way or another. you arent helpless you gotta lotta warriors looking out for u here..

 

[Jimmy1]

Tho,

Why FTA, or FTN?

You signed the dotted line. They did not make you get PTSD like some virus.

They may have shied away from you when you were diagnosed, but that was because of mis-information.

I used to hold a grudge, but I don't now. I was just doing what I signed up for.

Be proud Man.

 

[Wagon]

More appropriately it should be f*ck the VA. I admit, it is tough to admit that this problem is all your own, not the Navy's or Army's. If it was the Navy well......Oh man. You don't want them dealing with things like this.

Tho, the Navy would have given you a motrin, sent you to Captain's mast, reduced you in rank, take a half months pay for three months, restrict you to the ship for 45 days and give you extra duty for 45 days. And if that didn't manage to cure your PTSD (which has just been identified as an attitude problem) They'd could give you three days bread and water in the brig....shave your head like a booter. PTSD cured yet??

Naww Squid. I think you have to take the attitude that the Navy is just the place where it happened. Blaming the Navy is like blaming the the rock you tripped over, or the glass door you ran into.

I'm not entirely in line with Jimmy's pride of service. It's there for some, for others it's not. The military was a means to an end for some, for some it was a career, for others it was something to do after High School and for others it was no choice at all. The dotted line thing only flies so far. Show me a 17 year old that is fully aware of the consequences of singing his/her name on the line for a military organization and all it entails. Not going to find one. Nor are you ever going to find the person to sit those 17 year old's down and explain it all to them. Not going to happen. It is what it is, Not going to change.

Not trying to pick a fight Jimmy. Just a difference of opinion there. ;)

The biggest and toughest pill to swallow for anyone in life is this: YOU are responsible for your own actions and everything that has happened in to you in the past in the final analysis is YOUR own damn fault. Coming to grips with that little item is like swallowing a McDonalds Super Super Size drink of "toughen the f*ck up."

The good news is, once you are past that point, the future cups of "toughen the f*ck up" go down like water.

Wagon

 

[tho9900]

not gonna steal Panda's thread... Panda.. do what you feel is right.. sit down and think about what is important and try to hold that close.. sometimes those things are all we have.. gonna start another thread about me tho...