Does anyone else hate feeling like this? Just no one treating you with the respect and love they gave while you were deployed. I am just in a bad spot, my fiance is trying to get me to open up...... and I can't. I don't know if I can. It is just like as if she doesn't love me the same out of the uniform. Yeah I have put on a few pounds, grew out my hair a bit. Friends and family definetly don't treat you the same. It's like as soon as they know your home, that's it, no need to call anymore. Really??? It's already ruff being a "machine". No Heart, No remorse, No pain. Anyone else??
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Not A Hero Anymore.
- Post starter J Luna
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BloomInWinter
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(((((J Luna)))))
Thank you for your service!
May you find strength, safety, and support here and IRL.
I'm sorry things are so hard. Sending you wishes for healing and comfort....
Thank you for your service!
May you find strength, safety, and support here and IRL.
I'm sorry things are so hard. Sending you wishes for healing and comfort....
Hi J Luna!
I have been a very ambitious woman, well educated, good references,... I was a carreerist. And when I thought I am strong and I will achieve what I want to achieve I got severely ill. This was an offence. And the people I loved before changed their behaviour. Some went away, some said "Pull yourself together!", some came closer, ...I chnaged too. I was very tired, I put on a few pounds, too, I lost my strong will and changed my point of view in many respects. First of all I had to accept my change. That took a really long time and it is still a challenge.
Try to find your way. You can't be a machine. And don't look at other peolple - even when you love them an they love you - what they think about you, what they tell you should do, what they don't do anymore,... That hurts too much, I think. Perhaps first of all try to find soil under your feet again. You are still a wonderful human being!
Take care of you
Fireball
I have been a very ambitious woman, well educated, good references,... I was a carreerist. And when I thought I am strong and I will achieve what I want to achieve I got severely ill. This was an offence. And the people I loved before changed their behaviour. Some went away, some said "Pull yourself together!", some came closer, ...I chnaged too. I was very tired, I put on a few pounds, too, I lost my strong will and changed my point of view in many respects. First of all I had to accept my change. That took a really long time and it is still a challenge.
Try to find your way. You can't be a machine. And don't look at other peolple - even when you love them an they love you - what they think about you, what they tell you should do, what they don't do anymore,... That hurts too much, I think. Perhaps first of all try to find soil under your feet again. You are still a wonderful human being!
Take care of you
Fireball
Are you completely seperated from the military?
Its much worse when you are retired/seperated. You are no longer surrounded by your military "buddies". They have gone their way, and you yours. The civilian relatives pretty much no longer consider you "cool" anymore.
You are on your own. Yeah. Its sucks.
You have to just dig in. The fact that you are considering marrage, means SHE is your best friend. I suggest you start talking to her.
You don't have to answer this, but, do you remember how many of your military "buddies" marriages were on the rocks, or considering divorce? Do you remember the reasons? Think about it.
If YOU are her best friend,...just saying,...you should probably start sharing with her.
Its much worse when you are retired/seperated. You are no longer surrounded by your military "buddies". They have gone their way, and you yours. The civilian relatives pretty much no longer consider you "cool" anymore.
You are on your own. Yeah. Its sucks.
You have to just dig in. The fact that you are considering marrage, means SHE is your best friend. I suggest you start talking to her.
You don't have to answer this, but, do you remember how many of your military "buddies" marriages were on the rocks, or considering divorce? Do you remember the reasons? Think about it.
If YOU are her best friend,...just saying,...you should probably start sharing with her.
I can't thank you enough for your service!!!
I have two brothers, an Uncle who died, and ex who retired after 20yrs. My eldest brother was a Special Forces for years (I'm assuming once one always one), so he must feel very similiar.
There are many of us out here who will never forget what you have sacrificed!! Please try to take care of yourself now because you are more than the uniform, you are the person who chose to risk all and put it on, that matters. Many of us know that, though you may not realize that. Even without it on you are still the same person with the same abilities but you must heal from the wounds you suffered.
One thing, PTSD tends to make us think that we able to imagine we know what others feel and think about us. I am finding that this is just not true. As I build trust with people I will ask them if they were thinking such and such about me when we are together only to find how sadly I was way off base!
hang in there,
Rain
I have two brothers, an Uncle who died, and ex who retired after 20yrs. My eldest brother was a Special Forces for years (I'm assuming once one always one), so he must feel very similiar.
There are many of us out here who will never forget what you have sacrificed!! Please try to take care of yourself now because you are more than the uniform, you are the person who chose to risk all and put it on, that matters. Many of us know that, though you may not realize that. Even without it on you are still the same person with the same abilities but you must heal from the wounds you suffered.
One thing, PTSD tends to make us think that we able to imagine we know what others feel and think about us. I am finding that this is just not true. As I build trust with people I will ask them if they were thinking such and such about me when we are together only to find how sadly I was way off base!
hang in there,
Rain
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