General Not A Supporter Or Carer But A Wife

[I'll make tea]

A questions for both the "supporters" and the Vets and of course the non-Vets. Do you, too, sometimes feel that the word "supporter" or carer is "odd"? I like the word wife better.

Do you understand what I want to say? I cannot really put my feelings into words.

 

[digger]

Interesting question. I don't like the title 'supporter' either (or carer, but I don't tend to see that on this site). I guess I'm not keen on labels at all though really so it might just come down to that, but the supporter/sufferer thing feels very unequal to me. We are all just people. It makes it easier though I suppose to identify which angle people are coming at PTSD from - from the outside or the inside.

 

[Jane.l]

Don't like sufferer much either !

 

[I'll make tea]

Of course I do support my husband but he also supports me.

It makes it easier though I suppose to identify which angle people are coming at PTSD from - from the outside or the inside.

That must be one of the reasons why that word is so popular.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It's semantics. I think it was put to vote a long time ago and that was what was decided. There is no other blanket term to encompass "sufferer" so that is what is used. Same goes for "supporter". This topic comes up from time to time as nobody seems to like the chosen terms, but it is what it is.

 

[Justmehere]

I like the term friend, rather than supporter - for those I support, and those that support me. I like (my real first name) more than the label of "sufferer" for myself.

I see the point of using sufferer, or supporter, in addition to friend, or wife, or husband, or daughter, or boss, or etc. PTSD doesn't define us, but sometimes it does feel like it can become the definition of us and the relationship. Labels are tools to help understand, but we are much more than any of these labels.

Our relationships are about so much more than if we support someone with PTSD and/or suffer from it.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, it was put to a vote, and these terms were the ones that had the most votes (er support). LOL...

As to how I feel about these terms, when we voted, they were the best ones that anyone could come up with. There were complaints about the previous terms used here, so these ones were voted upon. I voted for them, so I guess of the terms that were listed as alternatives, I thought these were the best.

I think they are understandable, and I do think the distinction needs to be made, so yes, I like them.

What terms would you use instead, just curious, this question won't change the results we voted on, I am guessing.

 

[I'll make tea]

What terms would you use instead, just curious?

I don't know, English is not my native language and my vocabulary is limited. May be "spouses/friends/family". In my native language there is a word that means "kin" or "kinsmen / kinswomen" and means every family member as well as friends.I am not sure if an "equivalent" exists and the word "kin" really has the same meaning in English.
... or could you say "clique" or "community" or "loved ones"?

I did not want the word to be changed. Just talking about the feelings I have for my husband / about our relationship. I usually call him my Vet when writing here + me, I am his wife.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I think it indicates a respect for the other to call them my wife/husband, it's only a few extra words to say my wife who has supported me with PTSD (if that is the topic) or my wife with PTSD.

Here it is the chosen word, but that's not to say it's compulsory. If my wife/ husband suite you better, then I would be one who enjoyed that extra bit of respectful language.

 

[Changing4Best]

My supporters are: friends, therapist, psychiatrist and other Dr.s, one family member the of two that are living (all others have died or do not speak to me) and especially one friend that has PTSD too. My husband was quite supportive in the first years of our marriage, but I think he got tired out by it al as our lives progressed, so he escaped into his TV. One's spouse is not always the best supporter either, as you can see. Maybe if this site had existed back before he died, it could have helped us both. I'm not sure he would have been willing to come here though. Probably not. Neither of us was aware of my condition back then when he was alive.

 

[arfie]

My husband only recently joined my support network by my own inventory. Our marriage would probably have crashed and burned in its first decade without help from my supporters. He is a great husband, but a lousy therapist. My best support comes from folks who are not so intimately involved in my life.

I, too, get touchy about any kind of label, but I always keep in mind that grammar is too often the art of using the words to discredit the message. I would never choose to call myself a sufferer, but I am not going to invest time or energy getting people to use my preferred grammar list.

Good topic, Tea. I chose to let it be, but it feels good to talk about it. Thank you.

 

[BigBear]

I know a lot of Wives / Husbands, that I would not include in the class of supporter.

Bear