Not Able to Ask For Help at Work - Anxiety Spikes

OceanSpray

Platinum Member
I wasn’t sure if I should post this here or in the employment area.

But does anyone else have a hard time asking for help at work? I’m a substitute teacher and usually feel pretty confident in my job. But some days do get rough. I have a great admin that every time I come in, reiterate to me to not hesitate to call them for help if there’s anything at all.

But I do. I don’t dare call, no matter how rough it gets (outside of blatant safety concerns) because that feels weak, or like I’m admitting failure, and that I don’t deserve to even have that job if I can’t handle it.
 
hello ocean spray. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

i debated with myself whether to post this response here or in the "feeling like a sham" post. way back in the 70's/80's i received formal therapy for "the imposter syndrome." i just did a little mini-surf to see if that is still an official thing and found that it is and even seems to carry similar theories. translating psychobabble from the 70's to the 21st century is often a challenge. the imposter syndrome theory set seems to have carried forward more or less intact.

anyhoo. . . in my personal psych files, feeling like a sham made it nearly impossible to ask for help anywhere, but most especially at work where fraud is taken quite seriously.

but that is me and every case is unique. . .

steadying support while you sort your own case.
welcome aboard. you are not alone.
 
Mod Note : I did move this into employment forum, as anxiety/ core beliefs & cognitive distortions/ ptsd symptom spikes in general… around employment / our jobs, which either provide a living or provide XYZABC? Yep. It gets complicated. Because? Employment. The same way relationships are complicated by being relationships. No fuss. No muss. We do this -moving threads- all the time!😎

That your anxiety spikes, I’ve added to your title.
 
Mod Note : I did move this into employment forum, as anxiety/ core beliefs & cognitive distortions/ ptsd symptom spikes in general… around employment / our jobs, which either provide a living or provide XYZABC? Yep. It gets complicated. Because? Employment. The same way relationships are complicated by being relationships. No fuss. No muss. We do this -moving threads- all the time!😎

That your anxiety spikes, I’ve added to your title.
Thank you
 
I'm finding that a lack of communication and integrity in my workplace is a huge trigger for me. I was successful in a role for 3 years, was asked to take on additional duties for 6 weeks which turned to 9 months without the overtime being paid. I was so run down and let my employer take advantage of me (not intentionally of course, just the regular core beliefs getting in the way of speaking up and asking for my needs to be met) and then a very senior staff member started bullying me. I blew up at them over email and was asked to apologise. I refused and was subsequently labelled a problem. I spiralled into a bad episode of ptsd, ended up leaving and finding work with same company, different area. I promised myself I would speak up in the new role but the ptsd symptoms made it hard and I defaulted to fawning. Until a colleague started to become verbally aggressive and that tipped me over the edge. I decided to speak up about it and have again been labelled a problem. My psychologist said things will get worse before they get better because when we start to assert boundaries after previously not doing so, other people's perception of who we are changes and they find it uncomfortable. I really want to quit, that's how bad the anxiety is but I can't afford to quit. Such an awful place to be in - not feeling safe at work but struggling to get out.
 
I'm finding that a lack of communication and integrity in my workplace is a huge trigger for me
Trigger or stressor?

(As they have different solutions; exposure therapy & similar for triggers, or stress management / stress cup stuff).


But I do. I don’t dare call, no matter how rough it gets (outside of blatant safety concerns) because that feels weak, or like I’m admitting failure, and that I don’t deserve to even have that job if I can’t handle it.
I could have sworn I replied to this thread (as a member, not just as a mod). Either I didn’t, and just had the reply in my head or my draft got lost to the ether. >.<

This is largely core belief stuff… possibly good (grit, determination, chutzpah, etc.); possibly bad (pride, fear of showing weakness, control freakishness / mistrusting any assistance, etc.); most likely a blend of both… which creates OTHER problems, like fear of throwing the baby out with the bathwater/ losing what is good in getting rid of the bad.

Had any traction/success in the last year, managing it? Or is it still an ongoing struggle?
 
The scientific literature uses the terms interchangeably. I don't agree that there's a differentiation.
Technically anything can BE triggered… it’s a metaphor… indicating a starting point for a chain reaction. But the scientific community defines a “PTSD trigger” (trigger vs triggered having very different definitions, bizarrely, and confusingly) in very narrow ways. Much more broadly with Bipolar triggers, Anxiety triggers, febrile triggers, seizure triggers, etc... Even more narrowly with certain other disorders and condition. (Etc. So forth. So on.) With each disorder & condition having its own discrete lexicon/terminology. Generally, however, trigger is NOT used. Stressor is. “THAT’S the stressor!” In the medico-legal-scientific community. As stressor means ANY event precipitating a radical change, meanwhile triggers are so durn specific to the disorder/condition, that unless one is certain as TO the disorder/condition in play, the word trigger itself is avoided.

A PTSD Trigger? Has a very specific definition. As described, in detail, by the link I provided earlier.

Aside from splitting hairs about how scientists talk to one another about varied conditions? Whilst -with PTSD- the OUTCOME to a trigger/stressor is often the same (panic attack, anxiety attack, flashback) the most effective way of nixing the outcome? Are very different things. Meaning it is NOT a distinction without a difference. But a giant big red EASY button. Do exposure therapy on a stress? Nothing happens. Do it on a trigger, and the trigger melts away until it no longer provokes any kind of reaction. Manage your stress until you’re blue in the face, and triggers are unaffected, but even a half hearted effort here and there has profound effect on stress & stressors. Hence? The narrow definition. Ditto why other disorders weight & define “trigger” differently. Some have narrow definitions. Some broad.

I’ve read hundreds of studies on PTSD, thousands of studies in both medicine & psych. (To be fair, most of those were a school requirement, although there have been a few personal rabbit holes). The scientific community does NOT use triggers and stressors interchangeably, in regards to PTSD. Only pop-psych does. Largely, because they’re been paid $50 per article to regurgitate the scientific study in laymen’s speak, and don’t understand the content… even though they’re otherwise reasonable/rational human beings, this is only one of fifty articles they’re submitting this week, with hopes of ten being published & paid out.
 
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As described, in detail, by the link I provided earlier.
I think people here are putting too much faith in the opinions of the Founder. He is merely a ptsd sufferer and has no medical credentials. His posts are his ideas, not gospel. To claim that people are using the terms interchangeablely to make excuses for their behaviour is a very dangerous thing and I am therefore sceptical of anything else he has to say.
 
Opinions, facts, and scientific understanding (at this time, as science is constantly evolving its understanding)… are 3 very different things.

You can walk into any medical library and get the exact same information as to PTSD triggers & stressors, for free. Or spend a few thousand on textbooks. Or a couple hundred on The Science and Practice of PTSD 2nd edition, and after 700p? Plus however many other texts and studies which all say the same thing? Get the exact same scientific understanding. Along with a few dozen different variations of opinion. Although one would have to also have PTSD to merge that with opinion from lived experience, plenty of trauma therapists do not, and instead merge it with fact (aka statistics of how people with PTSD fall across various spectrums).

I’ve argued & debated with @anthony on various opinions, as well as state of the art/science. possibly more than anyone else active on the site (historically, totally not true. I’m maaaaybe in the top 20?). Your faith-theory cracks me the hell up, to be honest. As, along with PTSD I have trust issues in spades and have actually DONE all of the above. I happen to like his way of concising things up, tremendously, but restating readily available info by experts? Is just kicking knowledge. Go verify it yourself. I did. And when I disagree with various conclusions? Argue them. That triggers & stressors …in PTSD… are very different, yet related things? Is super basic, water is wet, level of understanding. All/most of us start out without that understanding. So quick-sheets? Instead of 700p books? Are incredibly useful in the beginning. I like the way he does that. If you don’t? Go to the library, at any good university.
 

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