For me, as an adult, it was a horror. It kept me safe after suicide attempts, but it retraumatized me badly. Can you explain that you need a few days to decompress? Make your room an oasis of calm, with things you like to do, and self-soothing things so that you can calm yourself. I'm hoping you have a cell phone, and can call a crisis hotline. If you are going to give up and do it, go to the hospital and pace. They think pacing is the sign of something, but it will get you in. Scream, shout, do anything you have to do to get in if you are going to kill yourself. You can't get help after. It is over. Your family and friends will be changed for the rest of their lives. They will blame themselves. Forever. If you are going to kill yourself, go now. I had suicidal thoughts every day for 4 years. I attempted several times. I was always saved because people were watching me. I don't have suicidal thoughts now. Thank God I was saved. My son is still recovering from the harm I caused by doing that. Please take care of yourself. The suicidal thought is a thought. It can change. There will be a day when you realize that you didn't want to commit suicide. Please be safe.
