Oh God That's Me! - Reading About 'disordered' Personalities

[NatBird]

Hello

I read posts and articles elsewhere discussing pathological/disordered personalities -- borderline, narcissist, vulnerable narcissist, avoidant, and the list goes on.

I read all descriptions and think -- Oh God, that's me (narcissist?!)
Does this happen to anyone else?

Does anyone else find that these labels (personality disorder) add to or create shame about processes that are common to those with CPTSD?

I'm aware from experience and Herman's work that CPTSD and bordeline can display similar features.
I can also see elements of vulnerable narcissism in my own avoidance.

I find these labels don't do much for my self esteem or generating compassion towards myself. However, the inner critic loves them:(

Can anyone relate?

 

[Friday]

Self diagnosis is a dangerous waste of time IMO.

Disorders are normal human traits & behaviors... Taken to the extreme/pathological... That are also in a constellation of very specific other symptoms... That are also not explained better by some other cause (aka exclusions; examples include better explained by another disorder, or a natural byproduct of age, or caused by a drug/medication).

 

[NatBird]

@FridayJones

Self diagnosis is a dangerous waste of time IMO.

@FridayJones thanks for this. I do enjoy your to the point responses. (Well so far:)
Now that you've said this it suddenly seems so clear that it is as you say -- a dangerous waste of time.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Does this happen to anyone else?

I diagnosed myself with BPD (borderline), before I was actually diagnosed with it, a few years before, but I dont recommend it. Self diagnosing is dangerous, most especially if you are wrong.

I guess i could say i have traits of other disorders from time to time or wonder if im this or that (and have always asked my therapist) but mostly i sort of leave it all alone.

I think BPD was obvious but im learning by talking to my therapist that the signs i contributed to BPD is actually PTSD so they cross over a lot and i exibit more PTSD symptoms than BPD symptoms which really suprised me. Not saying I dont have have BPD because i do, just giving a big reason why self diagnosis isnt a great idea.

 

[NatBird]

Thanks all

Just to clarify I have a CPTSD diagnosis.

I'm not reading descriptions looking for a diagnosis, it's more that I read about some of the behaviours, identify with them and then have that thought. Although if I apply this reasoning to other conditons it seems quite ridiculous!

@lostforgottensoul thanks for sharing your approach - recognising thar at times you have traits. this is balanced.

I sense something in me is on a shaming mission:(

Thanks for the replies so far, this has given me some space around the thoughts:)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Although if I apply this reasoning to other conditons it seems quite ridiculous!

I dont see it that way. Its common, if not human nature, to identify with a sympthom and wonder "is that me?" I do it about a few times a week. And its ok to do that so as long as you leave the diagnosing up to your therapist.

Also always remember than many disorders have cross over symptoms. Aka: have the same symptoms. And many are on a spectrum. Thats what i was saying with BPD & PTSD. So you may indeed indentify with most symptoms of BPD but it is actually symptoms of CPTSD. Make sense?

Im not diagnosed with CPTSD, just PTSD, but I no doubt have CPTSD as my trauma went on for 13 years. So I can identify with the thought process of this and having cross over CPTSD symptoms. :hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, the labels do indeed seem to add shame at times.

And then I realize that I'm not what I fear to be. I check and re-check with doctors, therapists, and people I know. They all deny that they see a personality disorder in me. I know I have traits, but these traits are stemming from trauma as confirmed by my doctor last month when I suspected PPD but he said "no."

 

[mamachick]

Its dangerous as Friday said. Most are not qualified to diagnose. It is also like being the dr and the subject of a drug experiment. The person giving LSD and the dr to observe the behavior. Do you really think the person on LSD is the best person to report what an outsider observes? We all have traits at a particular time or during a circumstance that is not a usual pattern. We all have shadow traits…ie-if you are an honest person, there is a time when you are also not honest. Can fill in the adjective with any word.

 

[Pencil]

I have known 3 people with personality disorders. They are the LAST people who will ever admit there is anything wrong with them. You can tie them up, force them to read all the literature, and torture them into admitting there is something wrong with them, and they will still deny it. All of it.

When it comes to personality disorders it is probably prudent to have the approach that if you think you have it, you probably don't. The fact that you look at the traits and identify with some means that you may have those traits, and that you can pay attention to that. But you don't have the personality disorder.

 

[sedna]

I have known 3 people with personality disorders. They are the LAST people who will ever admit there is...

That is a very valid point, Pencil.

Most of us have some traits of disorders at various degrees at times in our lives. C-ptsd commonly looks like BPD when people dont even realize they have ptsd at all.

Thanks to your comment I had a quick imaginary flash of people I know with disorders being tied up and forced to read DSM V

Nope. They're not admitting it, even with water torture and pins shoved under their fingernails. :rolleyes:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have known 3 people with personality disorders. They are the LAST people who will ever admit there is anything wrong with them. You can tie them up, force them to read all the literature, and torture them into admitting there is something wrong with them, and they will still deny it. All of it.

Depends on the personality disorder Id think. Ive had BPD for a long time and even in denial, I knew something was wrong with me; its why I went to 4 free therapists durning my denial time. I just couldnt put my finger on it until i came across a BPD area on Dr Phil's message boards.

I think I read and researched until I was blue in the face and was convinced i had BPD. When my current therapist brought it up i was like "i know".

I was forced into therapy but I was just terrified to go based on previous past experiences. Not because i wouldnt admit something was wrong. I was already asking "whats wrong with me" so much.

So with NPD Id agree with that but it just depends on the disorder and the person amd situation. As just like with drug addicts, they're could he a co-dependant person in that person's life allowing them to stay sick.

So Id say it depends on what disorder and set of circumstamces that person is in; and the person themself.

 

[NatBird]

I dont see it that way. Its common, if not human nature, to identify with a sympthom and won...

@lostforgottensoul thanks again.

Yes overlapping symptoms makes sense. The person who diagnosed me pointed this out too.

Do you think treatments overlap?