On The Observed Dichotomy Between Mental and Physical Illness

[blackemerald1]

Emotions can be contagious

How...?? Seriously how.. can anyone give me an example? A 'for real', real life actual realistic example please.

@bellbird honestly I think your friend has no place saying that stuff to you.. but maybe your employer or boss does. How much do you really achieve in terms of productivity by being in that state at work anyway?

If it is a passing or fleeting moment and you are able to regulate it then what business is it of anyone anyway?

If it is going on every single day at work then for sure it might need addressing bc that is your workplace and everyone else's too. I can see both sides here and it's got nothing to do with stigma or not accepting mental health illness.

 

[HealingInProcess]

How...?? Seriously how.. can anyone give me an example? A 'for real', real life actual realistic example please.

@bellbird honestly I think your friend has no place saying that stuff to you.. but maybe your employer or boss does. How much do you really achieve in terms of productivity by being in that state at work anyway?

If it is a passing or fleeting moment and you are able to regulate it then what business is it of anyone anyway?

If it is going on every single day at work then for sure it might need addressing bc that is your workplace and everyone else's too. I can see both sides here and it's got nothing to do with stigma or not accepting mental health illness.

I think we're all responsible for dealing with our emotions but yes if I see someone else in a bad mood or sad it can bring me down.

 

[scout86]

A 'for real', real life actual realistic example please

First, the example I'm about to give really has nothing to do with a normal office.

I'm a farrier. Many of the owners I deal with aren't experienced horse people. If the horse is misbehaving how I handle it can be a challenge but also important. If the owner gets agitated, it's harder for me to stay calm, but the calmer I am, the higher the probability we can avoid a wreck. If I get agitated, it will make both the owner and the horse more agitated, most of the time.

I can see how someone crying in the office COULD upset some people. If you don't know what's going on, I think it would be natural, for a lot of people, to want to see if they can help. I'd even say that's a good thing. It seems like, as long as the person can also do their job, this is the kind thing that could be worked out.

 

[The Albatross]

I think we're all responsible for dealing with our emotions but yes if I see someone else in a bad mood or sad it can bring me down.

That... is a choice and where autonomy is the rubber that hits the road in a society that values emotion over reason.

As you can see by Scout's post... nuances abound. Personally I try to avoid them. I agree still with Emerald. People are not equine nor are they incapable of rationality however inexperienced and emotive and sensitive they may be.

 

[blackemerald1]

If the owner gets agitated, it's harder for me to stay calm, but the calmer I am, the higher the probability we can avoid a wreck. If I get agitated, it will make both the owner and the horse more agitated, most of the time.

Agreed to a certain point @scout.

However, I've had farriers do my horses for many years now.. Most if not all like to do it by themselves and after I bring my horse (s) to them... they like to handle the horse and the job with no input from me.

Experienced farriers are able to handle horses beautifully bc I've watched heaps of them work even when my horses have been uncertain. In their hands a horse will settle down quickly.

Sure I can stand by and watch, and I frequently did. But they are only interested in the horse... afterwards they will have a chat but not before. They want me to shut up and observe only and that's exactly what I do. It works!

So if anyone makes a galagh of themselves with a farrier here then they pack up their tools and go away. They will not work on a agitated horse - especially one made that way by an owner. Too hard, too dangerous and unnecessary.

Even vet's will not work on animals that have been worked up because of the actions of the owner or, they will mitigate risk using chemicals. I've not seen that happen very often.

Sooner than later 'word' gets around that the owner is a... galagh... and no farrier will provide their services to them. And..that's life... in lots of respects isn't it?

 

[The Albatross]

Heh... okay Emerald (thx, heh)

 

[scout86]

@blackemerald1 , I wish it was that easy around here!

 

[hithere]

How...?? Seriously how.. can anyone give me an example? A 'for real', real life actual realistic example please.

I have many examples from work places and from my home life and even from hanging out with friends. If someone in the house is really depressed, or angry, or happy it affects the atmosophere of the household. My adult children have told me several times that when they were growing up how my depression days affected them as soon they got home from school. The atmosophere in the home was not joyous, it was a downer for them, and they felt depressed. Even though all I was doing was "normal" stuff like fixing dinner, or reading a book, etc. I have had several work experiences where one person's negative attitude was like a cancer and it spread through the whole unit. There were some of us who watched this happen around us and were like "you all crazy cuz this job is awesome." I have worked in places where people "tip toed" around those who were depressed or annoyed. It made the others on edge, annoyed, and negative too.

Here is an article from the Michigan State University Extension on the psychological phenomona called "emotional contagion." There are quotes and links to Harvard University, University of Chicago, University of California at San Diego; research link to University of Oklahoma and University of Texas at Austin on the subject. Emotions are contagious: Learn what science and research has to say about it

Some people (and I am one of them) feel other people's emotions too much; it is very painful experience. I've had to learn about myself being a sponge and picking up the emotions around me and how to get "thick skin."

 

[blackemerald1]

If someone in the house is really depressed, or angry, or happy it affects the atmosophere of the household.

Possibly in some households but not all. It's entirely dependent on so many other factors. Like who is the 'someone' suffering from depression and how that manifests itself, what relationship does he/she have to other people around them? And on it goes... too many variables to make a blanket statement that 'emotions are contagious'.

Eg. Plenty of ppl work in psych institutions with all manner of emotions flying around... however other patients, staff etc do not necessarily reflect or become affected by those emotions.

I'm not holding a torch up and opposing everything you mentioned @hithere however there really are so many variables including dysfunctional dynamics aside from 'emotions' that could impact.

they felt depressed.

^But they were not compelled to feel that way. Sure they didn't like your depressed mood but it more likely pissed them off, or they felt insecure or uncertain rather than depressing them? And..these were young kids... arguably have not learned how to deal with intense emotions of their own, let alone a parent?

My comment related to adult's anyway.

It made the others on edge, annoyed, and negative too.

^No it didn't make anyone feel anything. When did these ppl start handing over the responsibility for regulating their emotions etc to someone who is clearly not managing their own.

This is such an annoying turn of phrase and I notice it a lot... I am not arguing with anyone here but nobody makes me feel anything. I let them in, I let them alter my mood, I fail to regulate myself and when I do - my mood changes. If that is for the worse than it's not the fault of the person who is not regulating their own moods (being depressed etc) It's me. That doesn't mean I am impervious to emotions but it does mean that if someone is in a (xxx) mood, I still do have choices. Don't you?

Bellbird talked about crying in an office in a work environment. I commented on that. I don't know if it should be extrapolated further than that.

I've had to learn about myself being a sponge and picking up the emotions around me and how to get "thick skin."

^Yes! You had to learn to not take on other ppl's emotional shadows... you had to learn this hithere because it wasn't healthy for you to allow yourself to be affected. Developing a thick skin - as you put it is all about you, how you handle yourself when around other people who may not be handling themselves appropriately.

So, it's actually not contagious and nobody makes you feel what they are feeling because you've learned how to not let them.

 

[The Albatross]

True enough, though I would personally be inclined to ditch out of the employment if an Eeyore was in my space everyday. Just my preference - not because I subscribe to the contagious stuff. It's not even a matter of caring/not caring... boundaries/no boundaries thing. More of a desire for a job just to be a job without all the "drama"/inability to expect a day to day status quo. Jobs are hard enough to do well without a dysregulated person in your immediate vicinity for 1/3rd usually (8 hours or so) of your day/5 or more days a week/365.

 

[bellbird]

Just to be clear, I'm not always crying / being an Eeyore, in my office.
And my officemate and I moved offices several months ago and he outright said that he wanted to move with me, before I had even voiced my opinion (which was fortunately the same).

Even if had changed his mind now, we have spaces in other offices that he could move to. But hasn't.

That doesn't mean I am impervious to emotions but it does mean that if someone is in a (xxx) mood, I still do have choices.

I agree, there.

 

[The Albatross]

I did not say "always" crying or exhibiting depression. I said the unpredictability of it would cause me to eventually terminate employ. Not cuz it's cooties but because it's just a J-O-B.