Relationship Our First Anxiety Attack

[Error1]

I want to let you all know that you are not alone. I know exactly what you are going through. ​

When my boyfriend and I started dating, he let me know that he had PTSD. He also told me that there were going to be times that he would push me away, but that he would always come back to me because he loves me. ​

He has been taking medication for over a year now and goes to therapy at least twice a month. ​

Three weeks ago he had a huge anxiety attack and went to the ER. He didn’t notify me until he was released from the ER ten hours later. From that point on he started to withdraw himself. He doesn’t answer phone calls, he doesn’t want to see anyone, he’s missed two and a half weeks of work, and only answers texts once in a while. ​

The same week of his attack, he had a close family member die in an explosion and regressed even more. ​

Last week, he tried to break things off with me. He told me that he doesn’t think it is fair for him to ask me to wait around for him to get better. I told him that I will always love him and will not stop trying until the day that he tells me that he doesn’t love me anymore. He said that he will always love me but that there is a difference between being in love and love, yet he couldn’t answer if he is in love with me or not. This shattered me! ​

I was listening to a man that just a couple of days before his anxiety attack, we were talking about actively trying to have children. He was so excited about it! Now I am stuck in limbo. I don’t know whether we are together or not and have no idea what the future holds. ​

I have started to go to therapy on my own to deal with this. I don’t eat or sleep and have lost fifteen ponds in two weeks. I’ve missed many days of work because I just can’t concentrate on anything else. I don’t want to abandon him or leave him behind, but I’m losing my mind.​

 

[Reclusive]

Well, it sounds to me like he's having a hard time coping. He's going to need time to get past this new trauma and it's not going to be easy for either of you. He will push you away. He will desperately hang on. I'm glad to hear you're seeing someone yourself because this is not easy stuff to deal with.

 

[Error1]

It's kind of funny (not in a haha sort of way) that you should say that. Last week, I had to take a few days of seperation from him. Maybe I should have told him that that is what I was doing. But I don't want him to stress about my welfare or he will cut off all communication entirely. I didn't answer his texts or his calls for 3 days. At that point, he started calling my friends to see if I was ok. I finally returned his texts and he has now resumed to not answering any of mine.

I'm not trying to play games with him, but I needed to step back and see if this is what I really want to be in. Needless to say, I've decided to stick with it and will be there for him no matter.

There still is the high possibility of losing myself and my sanity along the way.

He doesn't talk to any of his friends either. I feel so guilty for abandoning him during those three days. I don't know how to communicate that with him. I feel like every text has to be a happy cheery one because I don't want him to freak out and bottle up.

As far as his physical welfare, I know that his parents are caring for him and trying to help him cope.

Both of us have a career which requires carrying a weapon. I don't think that he will hurt himself because he has his daughter to live for. However, I know he worries about keeping his career and can't disclose his medical condition to anyone because they will probably see him as unfit for duty.

My boyfriend did a tour in Afghanistan and came home to a wife who had cheated on him. He doesn't like to talk about his past much or his ex-wife. His whole life now is centered around his career and his daughter.

He doesn't go to movies or crowded places or like to drive, because these are things that trigger his attacks. We've spent most of our relationship just hanging out at home.

He told me that he feels bad for me and feels like I'm putting my life on hold for him. He doesn't understand that I am the one person in life who loves him by choice. I chose to love him and be with him always. His family is there for him also, but they love him by default, because it is his family. I just don't know what more to do.

There are no more signs of affection in his texts and if I call he doesn't answer. I don't feel comfortable going by his house and checking on him because I don't know how he will react.

I miss him and am hurting so much!