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Overcoming learned helplessness?

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Somewhere on here (the forum), someone said something like ~Compassion Focused Therapy, I googled it and can't absorb much but was saying even compassion can bring up the lousy memories/ fears / experiences- that there are compartments for different things. Eiy I'm not explaining it well but it made perfect sense at the time, about why some therapies don't work well; you can feel good then horrid; difficulties with self-compassion but not other-compassion; being alone leads to real problems trying to get help/ accept it. Etc. I'll try to find it.
 
Well it's based on affording compassion for yourself, also, ^^^; not much new to learn in teaching compassion for others if you have it already. And relies on the caveat things have changed, some 'new reality' exists to begin with. At least a perceptual one. Explains why CBT isn't entirely effective for some.
 
I think it stems from narc/cluster b abuse...I would look into Peter Levine's somatic tools to help shift your mind from defeated into cosmic(if that makes any sense). Basically it will reformulate your self conception into an elevated state devoid of all the triggers that caused such helplessness. sending good vibes
 
I think it stems from narc/cluster b abuse..
It doesn't.
It's a mental illness thing that some folks with MI develop. It isn't necessarily connected to abuse in all cases, or particularly cluster b abuse.
It can, sure. But not grossly generalizing.

I've met people with all sorts of disorders that have learned helplessness, and there wasn't always a history of abuse.
 
I'm helpless if I let you do that, if I'm not helpless you can't do that, I want you to do that, I don't want you to do that, I'm not doing that. Am I? I've heard a lot of women say "I can't believe I did that." That's only the surface part. I read recently "if you don't do what you want, you end up doing what others want."
I'm so uncomfortable trying to make people do things and I hate being a servant. Except sometimes. It's like trying to push together the wrong ends of the magnet, it doesn't work. I spent my life on this. "Love" makes me forget about it for awhile. It's a pattern.
 
Well it's based on affording compassion for yourself, also, ^^^; not much new to learn in teaching compa...

I do find having a compassionate mindset has greatly helped my healing process. I find it has helped me with the blows of a) When a triggered learned helpless attack occurs b) Picking up the pieces after a trigger.

I'll be honest spirituality has helped me view myself from a different set of lens. I use it as a tool to help accept whatever is and be compassionate with myself. I don't feel it's a total solution in itself but it can offer some resilience, an additional buffer zone and a sense of higher support which I find very helpful at low moments and post stressful moments so I don't feel so helpless.

What I'm truly seeking is how I can learn from my experiences, like a fundamental truth of life that pervades all that can enable me to draw meaning from and live my life by. I feel to truly 'cure' learned helplessness or at least reduce it to a point where one can truly manage then the brain needs to be updated with new software of the way life works to make sense of the trauma and how meaning and purpose can be made of it as a source of energy to plough through those helpless moments. Its like updating the brain so it now views the 'self' in a new light that provides structure to reality and a sense of purpose of to live out life despite traumatic occurrences.. All this is made of learning a new truth of life, that applies to all.. and it has to apply to everything otherwise the brain will notice the lies and not believe this new concept thus the brain won't 'update' as it's not safe or true.

I'm working on that one.. I feel its one that cannot be dished out, people have to think it through very deeply and analyze reality and their own traumatic experiences like a scientist would in order to uncover a universal 'truth'.

I may not have articulated the point above the best but it's something I'm thinking through.
 
What I'm truly seeking is how I can learn from my experiences, like a fundamental truth of life that pervades all that can enable me to draw meaning from and live my life by. I feel to truly 'cure' learned helplessness or at least reduce it to a point where one can truly manage then the brain needs to be updated with new software of the way life works to make sense of the trauma and how meaning and purpose can be made of it as a source of energy to plough through those helpless moments. Its like updating the brain so it now views the 'self' in a new light that provides structure to reality and a sense of purpose of to live out life despite traumatic occurrences.. All this is made of learning a new truth of life, that applies to all.. and it has to apply to everything otherwise the brain will notice the lies and not believe this new concept thus the brain won't 'update' as it's not safe or true.

I agree entirely with this. ^^

I'll be honest spirituality has helped me view myself from a different set of lens.. ]it can offer some resilience, an additional buffer zone and a sense of higher support which I find very helpful at low moments and post stressful moments so I don't feel so helpless

I have operated on this ^^, but it is very difficult for me as God and people seemed there- but then absent- during the traumas. So now I feel the same, I am alone. Alone and asking for a God's help who is silent and absent. I have no alternatives, except to stop asking.

I can't recall the entirety but there is a (Christian) explanation that Jesus always 'shows up' with wounds, wounds are our story and part of who we are. If I can find it I'll write it.

:hug: 's to you.
 
As I had mentioned @InsertCoinsHere I came back to elaborate on :
wounds are our story and part of who we are. If I can find it I'll write it.

in the hopes that it may help this:

What I'm truly seeking is how I can learn from my experiences, like a fundamental truth of life that pervades all that can enable me to draw meaning from and live my life by.

I can only say it from the viewpoint of Christianity, but disregard if unhelpful as I mean no offence nor to trigger anyone. They were not my words and only as best as I could remember to write them down, but they help me very very much:

'Our wounds, inside and out, those that show and those that don't, (just like Jesus's), are our signature, what makes us 'us'. They remind us of the Crucifixion, and like it our sufferings lead to Resurrection, the Resurrection is connected to the Crucifixion. Just as the Crucifixion is connected to the Resurrection, we can't have one without the other.

Every scar has a story, and we remember every one. Some of the scars are from negligence- our's or from other's, or surgery, or violence. And then there are the internal scars, that do not show. But God knows all our scars. God knows all our stories.

Jesus was identified-- was known -- by His wounds.'

Best wishes on your journey. :hug:
 
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