QuirkyTofurkey
Confident
I know logically people aren't out to "get me," but I seem to get very triggered when it comes to things like employment/rental contracts and verbal or written agreements... somehow I feel like people are trying to take advantage of me. I get very focused on reading the fine print and contesting any little thing, and trying to proactively plan for all the various scenarios in which I could get screwed.
The one time I let my partner take the lead on a rental contract, he overlooked something (and we were stuck with a *not great* deal). It wasn't even that terrible. But it was avoidable. So it gave me a reinforced feeling that "yes, people are out to get me" and "yes, I should never yield control or delegate these things to others who are less diligent than me".
I know how unreasonable this sounds, and I always dread the anxiety, panic, stress,... not to mention all the frustration I direct at myself. But I can't help it. Is it just me? And will it ever go away? My PTSD isn't even related to housing/career/contracts - it's from childhood abuse. So to me it doesn't make sense that I get so caught up in this.
The one time I let my partner take the lead on a rental contract, he overlooked something (and we were stuck with a *not great* deal). It wasn't even that terrible. But it was avoidable. So it gave me a reinforced feeling that "yes, people are out to get me" and "yes, I should never yield control or delegate these things to others who are less diligent than me".
I know how unreasonable this sounds, and I always dread the anxiety, panic, stress,... not to mention all the frustration I direct at myself. But I can't help it. Is it just me? And will it ever go away? My PTSD isn't even related to housing/career/contracts - it's from childhood abuse. So to me it doesn't make sense that I get so caught up in this.