DID Parenting with DID/OSDD & PTSD

[Renly]

My husband and I have always wanted to have children. But we are unable to have biological children (infertility issues) so a few years back we decided on adopting.

We finally came to a place in our lives about 2-3 years ago where we felt ready to really begin to pursue adoption - and then I had my big mental health crisis.

Since then I have been diagnosed with PTSD and OSDD (caused by CSA and trafficking).

I am still very much in the mess of my healing journey (and nowhere near ready to even begin the adoption process again yet), but in dealing with my mental health issues, I have begun to wonder if I will even make a fit parent.

For the last 2 years my PTSD and dissociative disorders have been debilitating - I am largely unable to work and just managing my day to day triggers is a full time job…not to even mention everything that comes with being a person learning to live life with dissociative parts.

I would love to hear any thoughts and considerations from parents who have DID/OSDD. But a few questions:

-How has your dissociative disorder impacted your ability to parent?
-What advice do you have for someone like me who desires to have children, but is concerned about her ability to manage it all when also dealing with serious mental health issues?
-How has your dissociative disorder impacted your children?
-Regrets? Advice?

I would also love to hear any thoughts regarding the above questions from parents who have PTSD (without a dissociative disorder diagnosis) - as managing the PTSD may be an even bigger component overall when compared to the issues strictly related to dissociation.

As I have been working through my trauma the last couple years, I am beginning to feel like a lot has been stolen from me. And I’m wondering if my dream of becoming a parent will also become a casualty of this “war.” It makes me feel hopeless and drives up the SI. I’m also not getting any younger over here.

I feel really stuck on this issue. I don’t want to give up my dream and deny myself the opportunity, but I also want to ensure I will be a good parent. If I am unable to be a good parent due to my issues, I absolutely won’t.

I realize this is a complex issue for which there is no one right answer, each and every situation is unique. But it weighs very heavily on my heart.

Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts and opinions!

 

[Baby Blues]

I honestly wonder the same thing, except I'm not even able to be in a relationship (even remotely - at 35 I've never even dated because I want to make sure I won't be a burden on someone ,among other reasons). I'm 35 and have really bad PCOS as well as DID, PTSD, etc. I don't have the ability to answer your questions, but I just wanted to tell you not to give up hope. Having a disability doesn't mean you can't be a good parent. It'd probably be a good idea to make it your mission to spend all your energy on healing as much as possible so that you're as stable and capable as possible so that you can parent well. I have little hope of such a life for myself, so I do understand your despair. Still, as long as you can get to a place where your husband thinks that you're fit to be a parent and you agree, I don't see you shouldn't adopt. The fact that you consider it at all makes you better than many parents out there who just don't care. Nobody can be a perfect parent and so long as your child won't be neglected or abused, you'll be a better parent than most, in my opinion. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you not to lose hope.