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Part Of A Group That Just Isn't Working

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With the holidays coming riding is going to be a little hard to keep up on; I went this week, but am dog sitting for someone who is out of town so wont be able to go next week. The following week I am planning on going, but then the next week will be the day after Christmas so I don't think anyone is planning on having a session; I think everyone is planning on taking that time to be with family. Anyways, it's all kind of hit or miss the next few weeks. This week I did however saddle up Coffee (the first time since her injury). We went for a very easy, very short, trail ride. She has lost a lot of muscle tone in her back end from not being worked. I'm going to need to get her into the round pen to start to build some muscle back up. She did OK for the short ride we had; I didn't want to push her too hard. Under weight her back leg kept slipping out from underneath her. I was watching her ears they never seemed to flatten out, so I don't think she was in any distress or pain, just losing her footing because of general weakness. I did however get her to trot (or she decided to trot on her own that is). I was trying to take it nice and easy, a nice slow walk, but when the herd started trotting she got anxious; she walked at first, under my direction, until the herd started to disappear in the woods in front of us. Then she got really anxious and hurried to catch up with them. I don't think she was in any pain; I didn't notice any signs, but when we came to a halt I made the call to break off from the pack and head back to the ranch. I didn't want to slow the group down, but with her leg giving out underneath her, I didn't want to injure her anymore than she already was. There were 6 of us; myself and 2 others went back and 3 pushed on. When we got back I ran the hose over her leg for about 10 minutes (hoping the cool water would help any swelling). While I was at the wash rack Cannon was running around the pasture bucking and rearing up. I think he wanted to show everyone that he was healthy enough to ride too (he is still in the infirmary due to the puncture wound in his hip). It was good to see him so vibrant. After washing Coffee down I tended to feeding, cleaning stalls, turning horses out, and then headed home. It was a pleasant session even though my ride was very short. I was sore from being on the roof hanging Christmas lights a couple days prior anyways, so maybe it's a good thing I didn't go for a long ride lol. Just that short ride and I was feeling it the next day. Anyways, happy holidays to all; I hope you are all blessed this season and the whole year long.
 
It's so hard to believe that I've been away from the ranch for 5 1/2 months. My wife begged and pleaded with me to pick up the phone and call them, but the story that I had told my self is that I had been gone for so long that they would never take me back. Finally I received a text message from one of the program directors asking me to come back and it was like a life preserver to a drowning victim. It couldn't have come at a better time. I was nervous and almost talked myself out of going (because of other things I had going on in my life), but I knew that's all the more reason I needed to be there. When I got up there all the familiar joys hit me at once. The familiar faces, the familiar smells, the way the light dances between the branches of the dense canopy. I sat there for a minute just taking it all in; it was a bit overwhelming, but in a good way. I headed down to the pasture a little nervous I wouldn't remember everyone, but I was about 100 yards away when I started calling them out by name... There's Rey, Dunny Boy, Cannon, Coffee, Ginger, QT, and Casey; I hand't lost a minute. All of them stared on, almost in disbelief to be seeing me walking down the road. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I don't know if they missed me, but they recognized me.

We lunged yesterday on account of their being some new veterans in the program. I asked the owner of the ranch if I could lunge her horse, as Ginger is always such a treat to lunge. She obliged me with a yes, but I didn't get a hall pass, as I was asked to be the first one in the round pen. I wasn't nervous at all, 5 1/2 months of cobwebs, but it all felt so natural to me. It helped that Ginger knew what I wanted and was eager to please. the second I removed her halter and moved to the center of the pen she walked to the perimeter and started a smooth trot without even being asked :D I was able to drop the carrot stick and move her with my hands for the first few minutes (until she lost interest) then I had to pick it back up and strike the ground a few times to get her to pick it up again. Asking her to change direction was smooth and fluid. It was truly a memorable experience. I didn't want to leave when the night ended. After turning horses out and mucking I stayed in the barn for at least another half hour talking to the group. I can't wait until next week; I have been missing this in my life.
 
This is so exciting to hear @Florian7051 !! I know how you loved the horses and how much you got from the program and what you gave the horses in exchange.. Very happy to hear you didn't talk yourself out of going, and things just fell into place..

Very happy for you. Gentle hugs if you accept, if not, not a problem, you can hug the horses for me !! :hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
Been on and off with the riding mainly due to not having adequate child care. Finally it looks like this opportunity has dissolved. I contacted the ranch to explain my situation and told them how much I really wanted to be a part of it, but just didn't have the resources to make it happen right now. They told me they understood and they'd be in touch with me. I can't explain the conversation dynamics all that well, you really had to be there for the conversation, but you've heard the term "the ball's in your court"? Well this felt like they took the ball away from me and are now in possession of it. It really didn't leave the door open for me to contact them when I get my shit together. It felt like a "don't call me, I'll call you" kind of conversation (with no intent of them ever calling me back). I can't say I'm surprised or upset with them. I have been less than dependable with attendance. I am upset with the situation (no fault of anyone really, just the circumstances). I really got a lot out of my time there, so I'll try to take what I learned and carry that with me (not a total loss). Just thought with everything going on I would make a final entry in this thread before this chapter of my life closes. As mentioned in other threads: I have quit drinking again, took a hiatus from group therapy, have missed the last month and a half worth of individual therapy appointments, weened off my psyc meds, deleted all my combat buddies from Facebook, and have been isolating. Some of this is due to physical problems I've been having, the rest is PTSD symptoms. It's still a long road before I get my service dog, but I'm hoping he/she will help fill some of this void space left by the ranch. Anyway, just wanted to thank everyone who followed me on this exciting journey; all your positive supporting comments really motivated me to not give up on myself. Maybe I can take that with me as well.
 
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