People Say the Funniest Things

[Scott_Fraser]

My eldest son Callum said to me the other week. "Dad" Did you fight against the Germans or the Japanese. I'm 0nly 43 it made me feel like a dinosaur.

This is a true story.
There was a Burglar in Glasgow and one night he ws on his rounds wondering where to break into. He came across a Fish and Chip Shop (British Institution) and he decides to break in. For obvious reasons he couldn't put on a light so he is moving about trying to find the cash register. He eventually sits down and wonders what to do next. So he looks up and on the shelf above him were jars of pickled onions. So he takes down a jar and starts to eat them all.
So he goes away home feeling disapointed but with a full stomach.
Next morning he finds out that it was not a fish and chip shop that he had broken into, but the local Eye Infirmary. (Think about it).
Cheers
Scott:crazy:

 

[Jenfa]

I like when I watch tv and I hear something like, "Sharks are becoming more dangerous to man." ..aka man keeps going where there's sharks lol or the other one I like is when the flock of birds got stuck in the plane engine, "When birds attack!". Attack what, that propeller? Yeah I saw how they attacked that, and got turned into canned tuna.

 

[Ed Norton]

"Do you really know what all those switches and dials are for.