Physical Contact With Therapist

[BloomInWinter]

I am grateful that none of my therapists have ever touched me, because I would not be ok with any level their touch.

I helped a woman break free from a sick relationship with her therapist, who lured her to her home and the female therapist had set up a shrine to this poor gal. Then, the therapist drugged her and raped her. The therapist worked at the university where I worked and they refused to do anything. Typical. this was in the early 90s.

So I and some friends threatened to go public if she wasn't removed. She was, and was given a glowing recommendation, and now practices on the east coast despite our turning in complaints.

What made me think of this is this news article out of Iowa. I'm so glad times have changed and this dirtbag will be held accountable!

"Court documents state that last July, Bair started counseling a woman suffering from depression. Prosecutors argued that after she sought treatment at a West Burlington center, Bair asked him to come to his private practice in his home. He had her complete paperwork defining hugging and kissing as part of her therapy.

A sexual relationship ensued, and after the woman told a former boyfriend about the relationship he contacted the counseling center, which investigated." Source: Link Removed

 

[Lucycat]

Without subscribing and logging in I cannot read the rest of the article. However I note the link's title 'sex-therapist'. Is that what she actually was as opposed to a psychotherapist? I am not suggesting it makes it OK - after all I cannot actually read the full story, its just that my understanding is that some sex-therapists are very much 'hands on'.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Whoops, my apologies. I've put in a different link. The person was being treated for depression.

 

[joeylittle]

Wow. That's just a horrifying story, @BloomInWinter . As is the one about your experience in college, and the notion that the therapist involved is still practicing.

As much as I wish I could get a hug sometimes from anyone, your stories are a good reminder why I don't want my therapist - this one, past ones, future ones - crossing that boundary.

I had forgotten until I read these: I did 2 sessions with a psychologist once. She insisted on hugging me after the first session, even after I had said I didn't want to. And in the second session she made me sit with her and watch the film "What The Bleep Do We Know".

Even though I'd had to pay upfront for 3 sessions, I never went back.

 

[Philippa]

Crazy story! Creepy that there was a shrine made in her image. Yes, predators exist in all fields unfortunately.

 

[desiderata310]

@joeylittle I probably would have wound up hurting her! You don't EFFING touch me unless I tell you it's ok. What a complete idiot.

 

[NovemberStar]

I'm very glad my T has never and would never, touch me. I don't think hugs and hand holding from Ts are ok at all - that is my personal opinion. Why? Because those of us with abuse in our pasts often have issues with boundaries, and I think a T that was 'hands on' is much more likely to confuse the situation, as well as creating the potential for the client to be pretty badly triggered in one way or another.

 

[joeylittle]

Yeah, @desiderata310 , she was an utter idiot. I was really just starting therapy then, and didn't understand at all what my rights were as a patient. Plus, a big issue for me is that I don't know how to refuse requests from people generally, but authority figures in particular. So I had no way to say "no" and stand behind it. Looking back, it was really, really bad professional practice.

 

[Seasounds]

Some therapists are sick, identify people who are naive, and misuse their power status.

Hugging, i don't like it from therapists, even though sometimes I am so needy I crave it. I was exploited once by the type of sick therapists we are speaking of; I learned my lesson. I am no longer naive.

 

[zaniara]

You can f*ck with someones soul and mind without touching them, and you can touch someone without f*cking with their minds or at all ending up at that point where touching turns into something sexual. (Sorry for the frank language.) This was some really horrible stories. But some therapists really f*cked me up, and they didn't even touch me. My current one has used touch(first time touching my hand two seconds after seeing me for at least six months, and to get me out of a bad dissociation, so it wasn't like he just jumped on me) and I would not have been where I am now without him. (Not right this day, since I'm in the middle of an EMDR processing, and doing really badly right now, but I mean on my good days.) I would never, ever have trusted him had he not touched me. (Have suffered from a disorganized attachment pattern.) I wouldn't have connected at all. I'm a very physical person, so maybe that's part of the reason, or it's because so much of my life has been destroyed by people using words to f*ck with my brain(real brainwashing too). I don't know.. I just know I'm very grateful my therapist dared to touch me, and also that he stays professional despite using touch. It has made me understand for real that I actually can trust him. And my self.

Also there have been two times where had he not touched my I would have ended up hurting my self, since I was that badly dissociated in those moments and things was spiraling down. The touch helped to ground me. (Actually I've noticed few things can ground me as much as touch from someone I know I can trust.) Of course the wrong kind of touch or in the wrong moment would have been really dangerous. Somehow my therapist can sense when it's a good time and what's right and not. Also we have been discussing boundaries, and they are very strict regarding what kind of relationship we have and not. So no blurry lines at all.

But I think we are all different persons, so what works for some might not work for others. And vice versa.