Post Mission Blues

[vikingr24]

I just got through the battle to save a guy's life. He posted a thread about how he is going through divorce. He has/had a young daughter. The guy seemed very sensitive and sincere. But when I read statements like "It's over" and "there is nothing left" and actually outright stating if he had a gun it would be over, I called the VA hotline. With the information I had and he had posted they pulled his record and made a welfare check. I do not know the results because of HIPPA privacy but at least I know he is being taken care of. PTSD? One of the biggest cases of denial I have seen.

I know Spock has posted how he has saved many lives and I am positive everyone here has saved others. I have too as a former counselor in another life. And I have lost. I recently lost a good buddy I went to battle with. Still not over it. He knew if he called me, I would turn the earth upside down to stop him.

I am sorry, I have the anger you have just after a firefight. This has to stop. I guess all we can do is fight what is near to us, what is "at hand" and not far away. There is no overall strategy here. I try to get back what I put in but I still look at the situation and think how much all of us are on the edge at times. It's on our minds even when we don't know it. Subliminal in a way like an incoming storm. But this guy went off that edge. I thank God I was there when no one else ACTED to do something. Saying "I'm sorry about your pain" when someone says they are going to shoot themselves does not cut it.

I guess I been there too many times. I stared down a shotgun barrel once and thought who would be affected, and couldn't pull the trigger. I am not going there anymore. I am OK. I don't want it to happen to anyone else.

Frustrated is not the term. It's beyond that. I am waiting for that depressive cycle to kick in.

Guys and gals, please watch yourselves. That is all. Thanks.

 

[OldDoorGunner]

Thanks vikingr24, good post and you also hit the nail on the head.....

but I still look at the situation and think how much all of us are on the edge at times. It's on our minds even when we don't know it. Subliminal in a way like an incoming storm. But this guy went off that edge.

I think of all us old Nam vets and the numbers going up. Sorry to say but I can understand the reasons....When my wife passed..........I was at that point for real, I did not want to live with out her!!! Add in the body pain, the VA and the Beast, whats the f*cking point??? The only thing that stopped me was my 26 year old Daughter.....She did not need to deal with that, on top of loosing her mother.....Like you, I am not going there anymore. Hell....I have been dealing with this shit for a lot of years, so whats a few more!!! So I am now helping my daughter in a since, the same way I was with her Mother. Putting some $$$ away for her after I am gone. Everything is paid for and I had a lot of work done on the house/ranch for my wife.....as I thought I would be the one to go first, as a Nam vet I was thinking AO or whatever......

We never know when an incoming storm will hit us!!!! I think it's something we need to think about before the storm and try and be ready for it...........I have reached out to some on the forum trying to help where I can. I like others here, gave out my phone number. So if anyone on this forum needs to talk, send me a PM and I will give you my cell number and we will talk. Remember, we Nam vets have been dealing with the Beast for a shit pot full of years and we are still here!!!

J R Saunders...........OldDoorGunner