• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

PTSD and Extra Sensitive

Status
Not open for further replies.
Virtual support group!

Thanks, Bella, I can't tell you how long I've wondered about the tendency I have to feel 'not present' and actually feel invisible.

I think because my trauma happened at age 13 and NO ONE seemed to notice what a private HELL I was going through, that I began to believe that I didn't exist.

I would sometimes have to go out in the extreme cold just to make myself feel. Only my grandparents commented when they thought that I was asleep that they thought something was wrong with me because I seemed to have no energy.

Freaked me out. Someone was noticing but letting them in would totally blow my 'keeping it together' to not let anyone know that I'd totally lost my mind.

Yikes. Thanks for letting me dump, group. I'm now getting closer to 50 than 15! Amazing what the mind can do with so much pain, eh?

You all are amazing. I'm glad to have found this group.
 
A1, your certainly not invisible, and its sad that any child has to feel that way to be honest. I know my children certainly don't feel that way, as I juggle their well-being with my time, and work commitments also.

Its great that you are getting these things out of you, because they certainly do you no good bottling them up inside. Well done...

I think I can put that back at you also A1, in that you yourself are amazing, for being here, for helping yourself... a huge step for any of us with PTSD.
 
So true...

Thank you, Anthony for the great words of encouragement. I like the nickname "A1" by the way!

When I see 13 year old children now I realize that they are very vulnerable, and young children. How mature I thought I was at that age, and evidently I was, but none the less, a child.

I erased some of the details I was going to share and I won't post them today, maybe only share in therapy as just this is stressful enough, as it awakens the terrible fear of exposure, of making myself vulnerable to others.

Is this knowing boundaries and self protection, or a cop out, I'll decide later!

Your idea and hard word for this site is helping, Anthony. Continue to protect your children, they need it.

Just having the ability to say this much and see the courage of others participating in their healing is so helpful.
 
I can totaly relate A1 as it happened to me when I was young to. The isolation one puts onself through when at that age we are still learning how to socialize and stuff. I sappose the hypersensitvity is why the consentration is so low, we are trying to take everything in when don't need to at the time and numbing when I should not.
 
it amazes me the things that seem to go along with ptsd. i also have super-sensitive hearing.(the neighbors phone,vaccuum, kids talking in other classes. i also have a very keen sense of smell, don't know if that's part of it or not. but, it has me up, looking around for smoke, or a peculiar odor all time of the day or night. usually, its someone outside grilling, or burning leaves or something, but i have to find the source.
i had a strange thing happen about a month ago--i was telling a friend how i can get my teeth filled without novacaine (i just sort of take myself out of me somehow and while you can feel it, it doesn't hurt) she immediatley asked me if i was abused????? she knows nothing of my childhood. it took me aback, but i finally just asked her what gave her that idea. leaves me wondering now, if i'm some kind of oddball, or if this is a common thing too. anybody know? Cookie
 
Maybe just the ability to numb your own self pain cookie... as I can do this very well... basically I can turn pain off within any part of my body, at any time. Definately something to do with the way PTSD has rewired me...

A1, your welcome. I looked at your name, and thought to myself... A1, now that is a pretty appropriate abbreviation from your username, something that I though might just give you a lift... which obviously it had some desired effect. Good stuff. Everyone needs to be told they are worth something, are good, are worthwhile human beings.... as we all are in our own unique and individual way.

Oh yes... my kids get nothing short of excessive love from me... just the way I like it. I don't want them growing up with excessive baggage from childhood. We all get baggage alone our lives, but the amount is what changes significantly depending on how we are raised. I want my kids to start life as adults knowing they have someone who just loves and supports them, whatever decisions they make, even the silly ones.
 
Farmer said: I can totaly relate A1 as it happened to me when I was young to. The isolation one puts onself through when at that age we are still learning how to socialize and stuff. I sappose the hypersensitvity is why the consentration is so low, we are trying to take everything in when don't need to at the time and numbing when I should not. [/I]

What you said makes perfect sense. It sometimes feels like a part of me got stuck in that time period. Hmm.
 
It was really helpful to read these threads, one of those "I'm not the only one" moments :)
I get so easily over-stimulated by noise and movement that I find myself with just one very loud thought in my head "GET OUT!"
I use a Service Dog for mobility, medical alert for migraines, and for emotional support during these panic attacks or whatever they are.
It is still hard not to beat myself up when I'm safely back home for being such a big baby and not being able to handle the mall crowd anymore.
 
Awww Boo, I sure wish I could bring my dog into buildings/malls...
Sometimes PTSD makes me view "outside" as unbearably dangerous.
I described it to my therapist as
"each time I leave the house I am risking death each time... each time my partner or I leave the house... I am convinced that something bad is going to happen"

Currently, I don't go places without bringing my dog, (he makes me feel safe)
but because he isn't a service dog I'm quite restricted to where I can go.
But if I have to run into the mall, I'm only like 10 mins (max)
so I leave in him the running car with the A/C on (he's big, no ones gonna break in, lol)
and he's always waiting to calm down my panic attack when I get back.

I am very fortunate that I do not need a service dog...
but if I could bring my dog in the mall... hmmm
I might be able to stay in there for 15 min instead of 10min! lol

Please dont ever beat yourself up for feeling like you are being a big baby,
you have gone through some trauma
it's hard to accept...
but in time and with hard work.. it will get easier.
I promise
 
Awww Boo, I sure wish I could bring my dog into buildings/malls...
Sometimes PTSD makes me view "outside" as unbearably dangerous.
I described it to my therapist as
"each time I leave the house I am risking death each time... each time my partner or I leave the house... I am convinced that something bad is going to happen"

Wow, YA...I thought I was the only one who was convince something bad was going to happen! Thanks for sharing this, as it makes me feel better!

Of course, my feelings aren't limited to just going out; I have these feelings all the time, anywhere. Not sure exactly why, but I know I'm going to have to explore this in therapy. Oh, and I also have them regarding my kids and husband, especially if they are later getting home than they say they will be (even if it's 2 or 3 minutes late!).

Kim
 
Yeah I always have my passport handy etc...just in case there's another war...or whatever and I need to leave again...also keep flashlights/candles in case we lose power etc...
 
I totally agree about the need for a companion dog for PTSD also. Lived in France where dogs are practically citizens...my little Fox terrier could go everywhere with me, restaurants, stores, parks. A great source of comfort, fewer panic attacks and definitely less loneliness.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top