Ptsd Dares

[Froggie]

My mom walked in on me being raped as a kid. She, for whatever psychotic reasons, felt I needed to start soaking in a tub filled with bleach.

and some people wonder why I really believe some people should be sterilized to NEVER have children ... ((((Jade)))) I know that hug will never give you back a right and just childhood but please know that I do care for what you have gone through and that I admire your courage to get a somewhat "normal" life

 

[BrazenBull]

Dares for me would have to be

*Stop being stiff and tense around your best friends -_-

Its pathetic i know i just cant talk to anyone anymore.

more would have to be

*Eat at the table with family
*talk to family without ending up angry at them
*Stop being defensive about personal questions
*stop using the phrases "I Don't Know" "Im not sure" "Its not important" or "Its nothing" just to get out of talking
*don't shiver or jump when a friend holds your hand or hugs you

But I've been thinking lately, Why is it that if its for reciting in class, asking a question, or any other urgent stuff then i can talk strait no problem, hell, im pretty damn fast in class and im usually the only one volunteering to recite.
I was thinking maybe its because I cant think of anything to say at that given moment because the only thing that goes through my mind is that im in danger (I don't mean to think im in danger it just sort of happens as a reaction).
I have no idea how to stop this ._.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Sorry if I sounded pathetic with the whole 'bath' thing. I wasn't looking for sympathy, I was just being honest about what I'm working on. Now I feel like It was a little TMI.

You did NOT sound 'pathetic'...my goodness, dear (((((((Jadebear)))))))

I hope you can give yourself permission to stop apologizing for being in and sharing your pain.

That's the critic in you...who's voice is telling you that what you said was pathetic? Because nothing about your post strikes me that way at all! Very strong, and if anything, minimizing the harm done to you. ...and being far kinder to your family than they deserve.

Please speak kindly to yourself today. :>

 

[Jade-]

I guess I assumed it sounded pathetic because I started reading 'sorry' and getting hugs,etc....I don't do well when I think someone is feeling sympathy towards me. Maybe deep down I still feel all the things done to me were well deserved. IDK.

I don't know who's voice is telling me that, Bloom.....wait, it's the same voice that said "that's just how they(males) are, that's just what they do, and if it happens to you, it's your fault because you're a girl."....that's what I was told as I was soaking in the bleach...

 

[BloomInWinter]

I don't know who's voice is telling me that, Bloom.....wait, it's the same voice that said "that's just how they(males) are, that's just what they do, and if it happens to you, it's your fault because you're a girl."....that's what I was told as I was soaking in the bleach...

Now I wanna take that inner critic in your head and beat the #$#@@!!! outta her!

I hope you'll tell her to STFU and get OUT of your head. She doesn't deserve to live rent-free there!

..and NO. NOTHING of that awfulness was or even ever COULD be 'deserved' by anyone!

(((((((Jadebear))))))))))

With friendship, compassion, and hopes you can throw 'her' and all 'her' luggage out in the street....

 

[Jade-]

Thanks Bloom....I am working on building a time machine at the moment(ha) and when I'm finished, maybe you can go back and shut that bitch up for me....

Sorry my initial post has hijacked this thread...it wasn't intentional....

 

[Innordinate]

I was thinking maybe its because I cant think of anything to say at that given moment because the only thing that goes through my mind is that im in danger

Kind of off topic - I always freeze up answering simple stupid questions like 'how are you' because I'm always worried they know something and every question is some gd test. If I answer wrong....

 

[Nighthawk]

Dare for the week.... To go to the TT and open up to him or not be so scared of him.

NH

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Dare

My life is mine now. Do what I want, for me!

 

[way_back_when]

I have been tense about making an appointment to see a dentist and I finally did today. I'm nervous to go, but a huge weight has been lifted by taking that step!

 

[Vee Lagrome]

I don't know who's voice is telling me that, Bloom.....wait, it's the same voice that said "that's just how they(males) are, that's just what they do, and if it happens to you, it's your fault because you're a girl."....that's what I was told as I was soaking in the bleach...

Yeesh, talk about loony balloony. Either she's nuts or she went through a very similar thing in her life. She reminds me of a slightly less violent mom from Sybil.

 

[intothelight]

To not be afraid of the mail.

Go to the mailbox, take out the mail, and open it myself.

Realized I have a lot of work to do.