PTSD Interfering With Work

[ghostgirl]

I started college almost immediately after getting out of the abusive relationship, and I remember how much trouble I had focusing. I didn't pay attention in class, I "recycled" essays, I did not apply myself whatsoever. I managed to slide by with an A- average, but I could have done better.

Everything was okay for a few years after college- I moved away from the place the abuse had occurred, got married, had a child.

There was a trigger in early March and it's like I'm right back where I started. I only found out that I had PTSD this past March, when I was diagnosed by my psychologist- but it makes a lot of sense.

Now that I am a college professor, I'm discovering the same problem again. Oh, when I'm teaching, I am completely fine. Everything is energy and sunshine. But, when I'm forced to sit through department meetings, it is very hard to focus. I am having short term memory problems, at that, so I might find myself saying something that I have already said or asking a question that has already been answered. A couple of my co-workers went to the dean and complained about it- I was called into her office yesterday. I obviously can't explain to my boss that I have PTSD. That seems like a great way to open the door to discrimination, stereotypes, etc.

Now I feel like I need a new job asap, and I am really freaking out over this. It feels like things cannot get much worse.

 

[TLight]

Geez..........nice co-workers.

Working with PTSD if very difficult. As far as outing yourself as having this disability, well, I'd talk to an employment attorney first. Could turn out good, could turn out bad.

 

[AthenaErdmann]

I don't know if I have any immediate ideas what to do, but I hear you and want to listen. Do you have any way of checking what your rights are if you disclose a medical condition (e.g. asking a union representative, checking on some official websites, asking a doctor/nurse)? Knowing your rights might make it easier to decide whether you want to disclose or not.

You are not alone in that work gets side-effects from symptoms. I'm right now freaking out about leaving the house to teach a group I have loved having for these last two months. I have learned so much myself and this course will look so good on my CV, but something about the group (small, all special needs adults) seems to be one or more huge triggers, which I cannot place or properly identify yet, but feel acutely. I was bullied from age 6 to 14 in school, and I have a feeling that this reaction can relate to that. Or then it is about kindergarten, where my best friend was a disabled girl, and that coincides in time with when my father started to abuse me. Oh, if only I could see the ghosts clearly, then I could deal with them! Can't wait till Monday and therapy.

I guess I will have to take a taxi, if I don't get going soon. Luckily the building where this course takes place is near our home, so a taxi won't eat up my whole lecturer's fee :-/

 

[dhawkins78412]

I think that's wonderful you graduated from college and are now a professor. I was unable to complete college due to my ptsd. I have difficulty concentrating, focusing, etc. And the short term memory loss thing. I couldn't retain the material cause I was so nervous. Remember work is office politics and a lot that goes on is competition, etc. I wouldn't disclose my disability. I think a lot of it is office warfare. I have a good book that discribes games people play at work. Its called office warfare. You'd be amazed at what people will do to get ahead; to discredit you,etc, etc. And being honest about a condition personally I dont' think its gonna benefit you. Work is a game and you have to know how to play the game. You'll have difficulty if you don't play the game.

 

[anni]

Hi,

I do know the academic climate can be terribly competitive and consequently the competitors become petty and nasty. You'd think it would be a lovely, cerebral kind of place with shared interests and knowledge but it sure isn't. Rivalies are rife, and a new prof in paricular is going to be dandy fodder for the nasties to try to knock out of the tenure race nice and early, don't you think? I hate to sound like I know too much 'what I'm talking about' but just not being able to respond well in faculty meetings doesn't sound to me like grounds enough for termination, or even a sound complaint. That would have to be job performance, not whether you're a little scatter brained in session. I could name 20 acadamians I can't get a cohesive answer out of, all nicely tenured and beautifully helping students prepare in their field.

You've overcome so much, and come so far. You're obviously a lovely, very bright educator and deserve your postion or wouldn't be there in the first place. Is there someone at HR you can speak to who might be able to give you some direction and maybe help you not feel so alone with the situation?

Please don't be frustrated if this wasn't helpful, at least I see that other members have been lovely and supportive so I'm sure they have been helpful for you. :) Please do take care!

Anni

 

[PTSD and Me]

Hi there,

If you are in the U.S. PTSD is a covered disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act in most cases. Particularly now under the ADAAA of 2008. Your employer is responsible for working with you to find accommodations to help you - in the case you described it could be as simple as allowing you time to reflect on the topic covered in meetings and respond in writing when you've had a chance to gather your thoughts.

I was diagnosed with PTSD 6 years ago, but suffered with it undiagnosed since high school. Now I always disclose my condition to employers and find a way to calmly assert that I know they are a good employer, and I trust that they will comply with ADA and help me. (Even if I don't believe that, it goes a long way towards making managers cooperative, and once managers & HR are in, my peers have fallen right in line.)

If you are not comfortable with your manager, you can certainly start with HR.

Good luck!

 

[dust]

Hi,

I work in an academic context too - part-time. My boss has always been very supportive and I thank my lucky stars that he was my boss when life started to disintegrate. I have told some colleagues about the PTSD, others not. My memory is much better now, although I do have to write things down to remember them. If I were having problems again, I would certainly tell someone at work whom I could trust or go to HR. Not to make a big thing about it, just an indication that I need to take extra care and time sometimes.

dust