PTSD & Intimacy

[blue_eyed_angel]

xxxarmywifexxx

Thank You for your input. I never even thought that his meds would have anything to do with this. But everyone seems to have the same consensus.

 

[Deleted member 487]

Cactus Jack:

I just have a question:

So how does your wife deal with the no intimacy?? Just wondering...

After my wife I have had no sex life. We split up back in Jan. '00.
Split up vs. divorced? The ease of a common law marriage.

 

[Riggs413]

I also agree with what all have said. Libido went to nill when I tried some of the medications out there to help with depression.

Now that I have stopped taking any type of medication, libido is good but still inconsistent due to how I am feeling while dealing with PTSD. My partner and I sometimes make love a few times in one week then nothing for two weeks if any of my triggers are active or I am feeling stressed to the max. Bless her for being understanding.

As others have suggested, talk to him, I know that it helped when my partner and I spoke about it. She now understands that it has nothing to do with her, just that when I am stressed or anxiety ridden, making love is the last thing on my mind.

I know that she would like it more frequently or at least more regularly, but she understands when I "don't feel in the mood". Since she is so wonderful and important to me, when I am on my game, I try to make romance a priority.

Maybe your partner needs to hear what you have to say, as I didn't know how it was affecting mine until we chatted about it and she told me how she felt. After our conversation I knew that I needed to make romance a priority for her and for us when I am having a good day.

Just remember though that I am now off all meds. I know that I wouldn't have been able to resolve the issue while on meds as side effects such as lack of libido really knocked me on my ass.

Hope this helps.

Good luck.

 

[blue_eyed_angel]

Thank You Riggs413. I actually had this talk with him this weekend. And I feel so much better now that we have. It's like you said, he told me that it wasn't that he didn't want to it's just that he didn't want me to be all in to it and then him have his mind in 20 other places. And I do now completely understand the situation. :smile:

 

[Zaphara]

My husband and I aren't intimate all that often. He isn't seeking help as of yet, his sex life before he left for Iraq was through the roof, he couldn't get enough of it or me. Now, he doesn't know if he loves me and the intimacy issue just isn't getting any better. We have probably had sex 6 times within the past 6 months since he's been back.

 

[Ace Ventura]

Book suggestion regarding intimacy issue

One book I just read and found helpful was Perfectly Normal: Living and Loving with Low Libido by Sandra Pertot. Even if the low or fluctuating libido is a result of other issues (like PTSD), I believe that this book could be helpful. It isn't a how-to guide on how to fix the "problem"; rather it emphasizes looking at our own preferences about sex, societal and media influences, and communication with our partners about an often difficult/sensitive subject. I thought she wrote with a low-key, "understanding" tone rather than beating either partner over the head. Anyway, for what it's worth...

Ace

 

[blue_eyed_angel]

Ace Ventura:

I will get that book and read it. It sounds like a good one. Thank You!!

 

[rallynut78]

after I got home the intimacy between my wife and I was back to normal for a while. but after the honeymoon phase of finally being home wore off things slowed down to once a month at best. then I started effexor and the side effect of anorgasmia shut that down completely.

It's hard to put it in to words but for me it had to do with the dullness of life outside of a combat zone. nothing seemed interesting to me including sex. it's really hard for me to separate the effects of the PTSD, depression and what was normal for me/us. normal was over 4 years ago.

 

[blue_eyed_angel]

Rallynut78:

Being in a relationship with someone who has PTSD and other diagnosis is something completely new to me! I have been dating this guy for 3 months now and our relationship is fantastic. Sure there are good days and bad days. But now that I have gotten to know him better the intimacy thing really isn't that big of a deal for me. Sure I know that everyone has needs, but there is just so much more to our relationship. I have learned that honest open communication is the key!!!

 

[mandyuno]

I was dating my BF who also has combat PTSD (Diagnosed.) We had a perfectly functional sex life while he was stationed apart from me but when he got out of the military things changed a lot. My T says its because sufferers have trouble experiencing any kind of strong emotion even if its a positive one.
God I miss him so much today.

 

[Kunoichi]

I am not on meds but I have intimacy problems with my husband.

Basically i get flashbacks and panic attacks from my trauma. So i understand!

 

[Irton Pike]

lots of us have problems here. When i am bad I just don't want anyone to touch me. When i am not so bad i feel bad about pushing the mrs away. You can't win.