PTSD shutdown mode question.

[DogTired]

I am really happy tonight as I've been freaking about my "switching off" moments which can last up to 10 minutes and finally found out why.

There is no apparent trigger apart from I'm not too happy with life at that time. Problem is I haven't got a "graduated" emotion switch. So I'm either smiling or crying, quiet or raging, well down or flying high. The end result is. I just switch off, aka zone out.

I don't collapse or anything dramatic. I just stand, sit, and it even happens when lying down. Sometimes I'm immobile, sometimes not. Bottom line I think is I'm not seeing, hearing, or thinking. My wife describes it as the lights are on, but nobody is home.

To wake me all it takes is a light touch from anyone, wife, or my dog, and I'm awake. After a few seconds of confusion, I'm back, way calmer, and not knowing I had switched off.

The BIG CONCERN is it's getting more frequent, and a couple of times I've kept walking, literally on some sort of autopilot. So day or night and near roads, I'm an accident waiting to happen. The GOOD NEWS is my dog has a lot more sense than me and leans hard into my legs which is enough to stop me and I wake up. Yep, the dog has stopped me blindly crossing a busy street before now. (Good dog, have a treat or ten!)

Apparently it's a survival response where you freeze into some sort of brain lock to stop you moving. Only something is triggering that response in me when there is nothing wrong (except what I was thinking about). So how can you turn that evolutionary survival response off?

Apparently there are tell-tales you can pick up before you zone out. If there are, they must be too subtle for me. So I need something more positive as a tell tale. The good news is I'm seldom without the dog, usually with the wife, and still have a few friends that recognize I'm in trouble. They touch, I wake up.

I did read something about EMDR as a tool and yoga????.
BUT, as I don't even know I'm zoning out, it looks like I'm going to be dependent on others for a while.

My question? Does anyone else suffer from this and what have you used to 'wake up' before something bad happens?

 

[Sideways]

My question? Does anyone else suffer from this and what have you used to 'wake up' before something bad happens?

Super common with ptsd for our brains to stay in numb as a management strategy. One of the ways to train our brains out of that is to practice (don’t hate me!) mindfulness.

Why? Because it’s kind of like a muscle that, because of ptsd, we stop using. Practicing mindfulness (like, 5 minute sessions twice a day) is a way to get our brain to start using that muscle again. With practice, our brain is better able to stay present and concentrated without dedicated effort.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to be “sit in a chair and meditate” for 5 minutes.

One of my daily mindfulness practice sessions is washing the dishes in the morning. It’s a task where there’s a lot of things that I can consciously, deliberately, get my attention to settle on: how hot is the water, how dry is the plate, where are the spots of food on the fork, does the pan feel clean under my fingers.

Mindfulness in that sort of exercise is simply allotting a limited amount of time, and then noticing “my mind has wandered, back to the task I’m doing” over and over and over.

Other good examples are gardening, walking (guided mindfulness walks are downloadable from various sources), showering (if you’re ok to be grounded while focusing on your body), cleaning, etc. Those kinds of physical, goal-oriented activities can work better for practicing mindfulness with ptsd on board.

Over time, you should gradually notice that your attention stays more present, in both stressful and non-stressful environments, without deliberate effort, and that your emotional state is something that you become more aware of without deliberate effort.

But then…lots of people hate mindfulness, and the mere mention of the word conjures an eye-roll.

 

[DogTired]

Super common with ptsd for our brains to stay in numb as a management strategy. One of the ways to train our brains out of that is to practice (don’t hate me!) mindfulness.

Why? Because it’s kind of like a muscle that, because of ptsd, we stop using. Practicing mindfulness (like, 5 minute sessions twice a day) is a way to get our brain to start using that muscle again. With practice, our brain is better able to stay present and concentrated without dedicated effort.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to be “sit in a chair and meditate” for 5 minutes.

One of my daily mindfulness practice sessions is washing the dishes in the morning. It’s a task where there’s a lot of things that I can consciously, deliberately, get my attention to settle on: how hot is the water, how dry is the plate, where are the spots of food on the fork, does the pan feel clean under my fingers.

Mindfulness in that sort of exercise is simply allotting a limited amount of time, and then noticing “my mind has wandered, back to the task I’m doing” over and over and over.

Other good examples are gardening, walking (guided mindfulness walks are downloadable from various sources), showering (if you’re ok to be grounded while focusing on your body), cleaning, etc. Those kinds of physical, goal-oriented activities can work better for practicing mindfulness with ptsd on board.

Over time, you should gradually notice that your attention stays more present, in both stressful and non-stressful environments, without deliberate effort, and that your emotional state is something that you become more aware of without deliberate effort.

But then…lots of people hate mindfulness, and the mere mention of the word conjures an eye-roll.

Thanks for the reply. I am aware of mindfulness training from others and try to be goal orientated in what I am doing.
BUT I guess I'm still doing it wrong after 6 months as I still switch off.
In the house I regularly blank and that's usually when reading the news. In the main that news is pretty depressing in the UK, and (if at all possible) getting worse. That starts me thinking (Please add an emoji of a guy swinging a baseball bat!)

To keep active helps, although January in the garden is not nice. I already do the chores as my wife is disabled, and the only regular exercise I get is walking the dog which can get REALLY interesting at times as a very large GSD in a town of mainly yappy toy rats (whoops, I meant dogs) can cause a bit of a ruckus. I love the chaos it can create and keeps me focused (and well amused).
Which sounds alright but when it's quiet, raining, or night time, the mind drifts and that's a major cause of me 'switching off'.

Once a fortnight I go to Bro Pro UK to mix with others. 3 of us have PTSD and it's crazy fun at times .
Shopping is next. To a list, plus bargain hunting. I'm focused on what I'm doing there BUT I still get swamped by too many in too little a space and have switched off a few times. So mindfulness? Juries out about that.

 

[Sideways]

Awesome. So - you’ve identified some key triggers:

In the house I regularly blank and that's usually when reading the news. In the main that news is pretty depressing in the UK, and (if at all possible) getting worse.

And…

when it's quiet, raining, or night time, the mind drifts and that's a major cause of me 'switching off'.

Yup. Makes sense right? If you watch something that is distressing (either directly, or because it gets you thinking about…) like the news… you dissociate.

Boredom is a big trigger for me. If my mind has any space to simply wander, it wanders to places that…aren’t “helpful to my recovery”

Work in progress. Very common.

Helpful, though, because you can manage that stuff directly. Want to lower your overall distress levels and improve your overall function? Sure! Start with removing those easy triggers.

For news? Doesn’t sound worth it. That’s filling up your stress cup and it sounds like it’s a trigger (probably the trigger is emotional rather than the news itself, so anger, frustration, hopelessness, etc). Come back to the news when you’ve worked through that trigger if watching the news doesn’t fill your stress cup too much.

For boredom? Substitute a new habit in that downtime. Doesn’t need to be complex or strenuous or even productive (my go-tos are jigsaw puzzles and reading).

To keep active helps, although January in the garden is not nice.

Yeppers. So look at the clock, and set yourself a timer. 10 minutes tops. And for that 10 minutes, you’re practicing:
1) noticing every time your mind wanders from the task; and
2) refocusing on the task when it happens.

It’s not something that we sustain for the duration of the activity. It’s the sit ups you do in the morning to build your abs. The sit ups you only do for 30 minutes, but the core strength and the 6 pack slowly build over time and impact the way your body & brain works 24/7.

 

[Friday]

My question? Does anyone else suffer from this and what have you used to 'wake up' before something bad happens?

Something bad happening? Is one of those gifts you don’t want, but do show up from time to time, because Life.

So let’s not rely on those. But? Fight for what we do want. Revel in what we find.

I did read something about EMDR as a tool and yoga????.

EMDR is tremendously effective.

Yoga is as effective as any purposeful physical/mental/emotional activity. Including boxing, smoking, circus arts, martial arts, dance, metal/glasswork, musicianship, etc. Pick whatever appeals. >>> Purposeful action/activation of brain & body, in concert. Not one or the other.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I do go blank sometimes but it doesn’t seem to last long, as if I would know. For about 20 years if there was too much going on around me I would get confused, disoriented and brain fog. Some times I couldn’t speak or even form a thought capable of being spoken. Weirdly, I seemed to have complete awareness of what was going on around me. I wonder if this is how humans thought before we had language to structure our thoughts. I think it is some weird form of anxiety. I was given buspirone for modulating emotions, my dysregulation was going crazy, and I have not had that happen while taking buspirone.

 

[parrotthepolly]

Is this memory lapses? I sometimes don't remember things that have happened during the day and it wasn't even too stressful. Think I might zone out way more than I realise...

I get brain fog all the time (not dp/dr) and it can make long paragraphs difficult to process, can't form sentences and note it down and stumble on my words if I have to speak without preparing etc.
Thought it was nutritional deficiencies but if CPTSD also has something to do with it then can see why my entire life is so debilitating.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I have a lot of short term memory issues. I can’t place things in time. Say I go for a hike, several hours later I can’t remember if I did it today, yesterday or the day before. My long term memory is excellent except for trauma related gaps.

 

[DogTired]

We lived on a 41 foot canal boat for few years and it was a lovely way of life.
Yet after a while, probably because we were totally relaxed and happy, we suffered from boat movements.
41 foot boat, 37 foot cabin. Walking from the back to the galley we'd often forget what we were going to do.
Only it didn't matter, in fact very little troubled us. Such was the "water gypsy life style".