Ptsd Sucks

[Steph_F]

It's so terribly hard on the person who suffers with this disorder and its simply not fair that a person who has done nothing but his very best to serve his country has been sentenced with this burden and it gets unleashed on the people that he loves the most. Safety is key for himself and his loved ones and even though he's in the middle of Michigan and he logically knows he is safe and no one is in harm's way things still need to be a certain way for safety to be ensured and when things are not right, nothing is right. Everything is going just fine when for no real reason at all something slips and isn’t right and BAM!! out of his guts comes this feeling of anger, there's no being slightly irritated, then mad then furious because gradual anger is no longer a known reaction, it would feel as a un-natural and dangerous and stupid as going into battle without your rifle. When the lashing out and striking back happens there is nothing but blind rage to mask the fear because the fear is a very unsafe and uncontrollable emotion that is too raw to be felt. So the anger flares and words get said and feelings hurt and that just makes him feel guilty and well, there's another reason to be get angry all over again. It hurts him to be like this but there he feels there is nothing that can be done about it. He feels that he has already made so many mistakes and messed up so many times that every action he does is going to wrong and...what do you know??? that makes him angry and once again we start over. It never stops, its a cycle. Everything hurts, he's an old man in a young man's body, he can't sleep because his mind will not shut off to let him rest and when he does, he wakes more tired than he was at bedtime the night before. The medication they gave him makes him feel nothing…numb, distance and spacey like he is lost inside himself and not even a shell of who he wants to be to the people that he dearly loves so he doesn't take the medication but then he can't control the gnawing anxiety and the anger that is always just under the surface and the tension is palpable. it just sucks That's all...didn't tell any of you anything that you didn't already know, right?? ...venting for him today...

 

[Nicolette]

Vent away Steph...............

 

[Dezzy375]

Steph,

I'm in the same boat. My honey starts counseling on the 10th. His your honey going to counseling? According to other combat vets I've talked to say that in the beginning it's hard but it does really help and with time it does get easier. I am very familiar with the cycle. He's on 2-3 different meds just to keep his anxiety and anger under control which takes away his libido. Then I get frustruated, then he'll turn around and stop taking his meds so he can get back his libido, but then he turns into an asshole and overreacts to little stuff. God I hope his counseling session goes well.

Just remember to hang in there and that we could rely on each other to support each other. We're all in the same boat! =)

 

[Steph_F]

I want to talk to him about counseling, but I'm not sure how to approach him about it. I know he has gone before and found it beneficial, but stopped going because he felt better. He has a very difficult work schedule but I still feel that he could make it work somehow. He's on the up and up right now and I'm afraid that asking him about therapy will remind him of the yucky times or make him angry. When its good, there is nothing better, but when its bad, there is nothing worse. I have just gone through the worst of times (so far) with him, and I learned, the hard way, not to let myself get let myself get too wrapped up in him, cuz when he pushed me away and was gone, I had this huge hole in my life and was tempted to let him go cuz it hurt so bad. Now I am smarter and told him straight up that I need to have a part of my life apart from his, so that when he goes into that "stressful slum"...I can go into my coping place and be ok. But its really really hard to not let my life revolve around him.

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

But its really really hard to not let my life revolve around him.

If only we could get this :rolleyes:, it's soooo important.

Our partners have an illness but both sides of the relationship need their independence.

best wishes x