Hi all.
I've been dealing with an interesting issue lately involving a guy that's come into my life.
My therapist thinks my depression and PTSD are related to my father's death when I was 3, and issues stemming from middle school - bullying at school and abuse at home. The guy I'm talking to is someone I knew in middle school. After we met, I started having nightmares about middle school, and about past relationships.
In the past month, my anxiety and stress just seemed to increase. I noticed that I was really starting to like this guy. In the past, I've entered relationships where the guys were unavailable in some way, making it easy for me to deal with the breakup. Most don't last past 3 months. At around the 3 month mark, I started trying to push him away - I guess so I wouldn't have to deal with a loss if things didn't work out.
My dad's father passed away in December - a month that holds a lot of bad memories for me. During a time where I'm supposed to be creating better memories so I don't get depressed, a death in the family just seems to make me detest the month even more. My therapist thinks that this somehow triggered some unresolved issues surrounding death and grieving.
I've been surrounded by some very supportive people in my life right now, and yet I still reject this one guy. We've only been hanging out a few months, taking thing slow but it's gotten to a point where I finally told him what was going on. The guy seems to be somewhat understanding because he is also dealing with PTSD - his stemming from his tours in Iraq.
Guess I regurgitated a lot of background info, but has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? The one person they reject is someone they may like or be dating?
I can't quite relate to other people that are married or in solid relationships since I'm just dating the guy - no exclusive commitment just yet. Unlike other potential relationships where I could easily walk away, I can't seem to do it this time. But my actions are making it seem like I want things to end! :(
I've been dealing with an interesting issue lately involving a guy that's come into my life.
My therapist thinks my depression and PTSD are related to my father's death when I was 3, and issues stemming from middle school - bullying at school and abuse at home. The guy I'm talking to is someone I knew in middle school. After we met, I started having nightmares about middle school, and about past relationships.
In the past month, my anxiety and stress just seemed to increase. I noticed that I was really starting to like this guy. In the past, I've entered relationships where the guys were unavailable in some way, making it easy for me to deal with the breakup. Most don't last past 3 months. At around the 3 month mark, I started trying to push him away - I guess so I wouldn't have to deal with a loss if things didn't work out.
My dad's father passed away in December - a month that holds a lot of bad memories for me. During a time where I'm supposed to be creating better memories so I don't get depressed, a death in the family just seems to make me detest the month even more. My therapist thinks that this somehow triggered some unresolved issues surrounding death and grieving.
I've been surrounded by some very supportive people in my life right now, and yet I still reject this one guy. We've only been hanging out a few months, taking thing slow but it's gotten to a point where I finally told him what was going on. The guy seems to be somewhat understanding because he is also dealing with PTSD - his stemming from his tours in Iraq.
Guess I regurgitated a lot of background info, but has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? The one person they reject is someone they may like or be dating?
I can't quite relate to other people that are married or in solid relationships since I'm just dating the guy - no exclusive commitment just yet. Unlike other potential relationships where I could easily walk away, I can't seem to do it this time. But my actions are making it seem like I want things to end! :(
