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Question About How Emdr Might Be Affecting Me

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intrasearching

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Hi all,

I have been doing EMDR once a week for the past month. I did it yesterday. I went into the session feeling pretty good. For a few days, I was feeling more capable and less subject to the pain of my PTSD. I thought it was the success of the first sessions having helped me out a bit.

Yesterday, around dinner time I suddenly began to feel a bit sleepy. It was an interesting shift in feeling. Then later that night, after having a great conversation with my girlfriend, there came a point where I seemed to just suddenly shift and a wave of anxiety and sadness washed over me. It scared me. I have always had a strong fear of mental illness and when stuff like that happens I worry it's bipolar. After a short while (about half an hour), I felt calm again.

I am starting to wonder... Beyond the worries, might I truly have bipolar II? How can I know? I have never been diagnosed. I've asked and have been told I do not have bipolar, but these weird occasional mood swings are hard to explain. I do have ADHD and OCD, so it's hard to tell what's doing what sometimes. I do have a tendency to sometimes get really excited about a project or something, where I'll get really engrossed and feel obsessed and excited about it for a few days. Is that hypomania, ADHD, or just me? Agh!
 
PTSD often resembles bipolar. It seems like maybe you are having triggers from the PTSD. A good start is figuring out your triggers. I write when my feelings shift and it always ends up being past related.

By doing that I feel more in control of my triggers and moods.


EMDR is intense as well. My friend did EMDR and he said it beings up feelings. Talk to your EMDR therapist about this, ask if it is normal. Good luck in your healing.
 
That sounds like PTSD to me. I have mood swings just like that, and I find what helps me is to acknowledge the emotions and to remind myself that it is simply my mind going haywire. When I make a conscious decision to not accept those emotions as fact, it helps me feel more in control of myself.

I hope you stick with your EMDR. It's helped me get through a lot of my own issues. Good luck :)
 
Bipolar is quite different. The ups last a longer time, the downs last a longer time (typically). Well, unless you're rapid-cycling, but even so I believe that there is still a bit more time between the ups and downs than what you describe.

Honestly, mild mood swings are nothing to be worried about.
 
Thanks everyone for your input. I have been feeling a huge amount of anxiety today as my brain insists on looking for any memory, feeling or thought that could get me diagnosed as bipolar. It's been pretty awful how my mind is tormenting me like this. Interestingly, yesterday my EMDR session was specifically about my phobia of mental illness. Today I can't get it out of my head and I feel really scared and doomed, just as I told my psychologist for the EMDR that I felt historically about this issue.

I remember over the weekend having higher energy than usual. I didn't feel great. I was still anxious. But there were periods when I felt lighter and like I was "getting better."

Agh! :-(
 
I agree with everyone who said that mood swings (what we'd call "affect dysregulation") are definitely a symptom of PTSD. However, you didn't say anything about your therapist giving you help with resources before going into EMDR processing. So let me just say a bit about how it should work...

I'm a psychologist who uses EMDR as my primary treatment psychotherapy and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR (certified by the EMDR International Assoc. and trained by the EMDR Inst, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR therapist) I have used EMDR successfully with panic disorders, single incident trauma and complex/chronic PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams and more...

It's really crucial that the therapist spends enough time in one of the initial phases (Phase 2) in EMDR that involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. So if you start feeling overwhelmed or that it's too intense, you can ground yourself (with your therapist's help in session, and on your own between sessions) and feel safe enough to continue the work. In my practice, after the Phase 2 work lets us know that my patient is safe enough and able to cope with any emotion and/or physical sensation both during and between EMDR processing sessions, I often suggest we try a much less intense memory first if there is one that happened BEFORE the trauma(s). If there isn't one, then I suggest we start developmentally with the least disturbing memory and work our way "up" to the most disturbing event(s).

Grounding exercises are indispensable in everyday life, and really essential in stressful times. Anyone can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). Anyway, the book is terrific. It's an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also teaches readers lots of helpful techniques that can be used immediately and that are also used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

As I’ve mentioned about Phase 2, during EMDR therapy you learn coping strategies and self-soothing techniques that you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. You learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. One of the key assets of EMDR is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you likely were not during past events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and ask you to say just a bit of what you’re noticing. The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to neutralize bad life experiences and build resources.

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions. Your therapist should be using a variety of techniques to make painful processing less painful, like suggesting you turn the scene in your mind to black and white, lower the volume, or, erect a bullet-proof glass wall between you and the painful scene, or, imagine the abuser speaking in a Donald Duck voice... and so forth. There are a lot of these kinds of "interventions" that ease the processing. They are called "cognitive interweaves" that your therapist can use, and that also can help bring your adult self's perspective into the work (or even an imaginary Adult Perspective). Such interweaves are based around issues of Safety, Responsibility, and Choice. So therapist questions like "are you safe now?" or "who was responsible? and "do you have more choices now?" are all very helpful in moving the processing along.

In addition to my therapy practice, I roam the web looking for EMDR discussions, try to answer questions about it posted by clients/patients, and respond to the critics out there. It's not a cure-all therapy. However, it really is an extraordinary psychotherapy and its results last. In the hands of a really experienced EMDR therapist, it's the most gentle way of working through disturbing experiences.
 
They are called "cognitive interweaves" that your therapist can use, and that also can help bring your adult self's perspective into the work (or even an imaginary Adult Perspective)

When I was struggling in EMDR, my T suggested that I had a protective adult take me by the hand when I returned to a memory. As this could not be a parent I found a new 'Mummy' in a much loved sister-in-law and took her back with me to hold and protect me. In reality she knows nothing of this. But I keep a photo of her on the mantlepiece to look at whenever I need to.

It was very powerful and effective. When I started EMDR, before we found my new 'Mummy', I could only tolerate seconds in a memory. With her help we built it up which allowed for much faster processing.

Another technique we used was going back to the memory 'on a wire' so I had a quick exit when I needed. By that I mean I would imagine traveling to the memory along that wire and then returning to the present via the same route. It stopped me from feeling trapped in the past.

All of this sounds - and reads- like complete nonsense. But it really does work. Pattijane is so right when she says there are so many different ways of doing it to make it more bearable.

Additionally my T was quite clear that I had a choice. If I did not feel like I could cope with EMDR on a particular session that was never a problem. Sometimes we deferred it. Other times when he came again I would say that I no longer felt the need to target that particular issue and was happy to leave it alone. Absolutely my choice. Just as he has said that if something new rears its ugly head now or in the future then we can do more EMDR if needed.
 
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