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Radio silence detrimental with ptsd break up

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Interesting topic.
First, before it gets to a break up or time out, give the person some space. If we don't want to talk or need time to process please back off - it is like information or sensory over load.
This one, I can personally agree with. I'd be curious to know if other sufferers tend to agree about the over-load effect, and the need to clear some space in order to manage/sort out our own reactions to things.
Second if we do walk out, the best thing you can do is what I call give us little nuggets, these are encouraging words and let us know you are waiting for them to come home and believe in then. This establishes trust, and puts the onus on the person with PTSD. Lashing out, reacting, going radio silent just makes us feel validated in leaving.
As others have said, I don't think this is universal at all. I think it may speak to your own attachment issues/underdeveloped sense of self - you appreciate the reassurance coming from the other person, in small bits, not so much that you're being pressured, but just enough so that you are also not being left alone.

Personally, I think it's better for this therapeutic technique to be left to therapy, not the relationship. Too many supporters try and learn how to be caregivers - believing that they are responsible for modeling the 'good' behavior, so the sufferer can eventually 'learn' trust. It's not really possible to do this without the supporter putting themselves in the role of 'healer'...and that can just perpetuate dysfunction.
Now just saying the door is open when you are ready to me isn't very effective. Why? For a person who isolates and disassociates, out of sight is out of mind. Usually a little text saying something like "the pot of coffee is on when you are ready - once a day" keeps me grounded. Or any reaffirming statement. Remember the person with PTSD isn't doing this to hurt you.
For me, this would intensify my guilt. I don't need to be reminded the door is open, I can be responsible for remembering that. But, again - very different strokes for different folks, here.
When sufferers run, and their partners are firmly planted and don't waiver we learn from them what a normal relationship is like, we learn trust.
Yeah...I'm not sure that's how it actually works. I understand the concept. But I understand the concept as it applies in a therapy environment. When the therapist can sit there and listen and accept every ugliness, every freak-out, every extended bout of avoidance...that's how we can learn that our actions exist, on their own. We have to decide what kind of people we want to be, and then work very hard at getting there. We need to forgive ourselves when we are having a tough time of it. We need to communicate about all of it.

A therapist can withstand all this because their needs do not matter and are not relevant.

A partner has needs of their own, and their needs do matter.

Frankly, I would never, ever want someone to put my needs before their own. To me, that's the definition of imbalance. I don't want them to be making sacrifices for me. Or holding steady for me. I want them to be who they are, and not put themselves second. I want to be well enough to not need that from them. And because, I will inevitably f*ck up, I want them to believe that it's worth it to ride out the tough bits...but all relationships have tough bits - not just those where a mental illness is involved.

So, when you look at it like that...I think it's possible to see that the shit that comes along with the PTSD is not the same as the shit that comes along with a relationship. The relationship will be challenging enough. Better for each individual to be as healthy as they can be, first. Not one partner being part-caregiver, part-equal.
 
First, before it gets to a break up or time out, give the person some space. If we don't want to talk or need time to process please back off - it is like information or sensory over load.

I agree with this.

But here is where I have issues with generalized posts.

Second if we do walk out, the best thing you can do is what I call give us little nuggets, these are encouraging words and let us know you are waiting for them to come home and believe in then. This establishes trust, and puts the onus on the person with PTSD. Lashing out, reacting, going radio silent just makes us feel validated in leaving.

Oh no, no, no, no, and no! If I leave, you better leave me alone. If I isolate, ok, some check ins to ensure I am still alive. And not daily either. Once a week is good enough. Or it damn well better be or you'll be pushing me further away. But if I leave? As in goodbye, I'm done? Don't you dare contact me. I am also quick to slap a restraining order on you. Goodbye IS goodbye. No, we'll talk about it when you are calmer or come to your senses. That's what isolation is for. If I am out, I am out. And in general, if I ask to be left alone (even if its just isolation) leave me the f*ck alone! I mean, nothing pushes me away faster then annoying text, emails, and/or calls everyday tellling me the coffee is hot. I can do "just checking in to ensure you are still alive" and "yes I am" text once a week. But, no way to everyday. I am working on some real shit hitting the fan hard and do not have the mental space to reassure you that im ok everyday. I told you yesterday I was ok and alive, now leave me alone. If I break up? Do not continue to contact me. There a point in where that will be harrassment. I told you I was done. Now go, shew, find someone else and leave me alone!
 
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