Sorry to be posting this here, but I don't know if anyone even looks at my blog anyway, and I need to get this out of my head and typed out someplace...
I'm super stressed. I'm cutting again. And of course I couldn't have screwed up and cut last week when we were having weird overcast weather... nope, have to cut when it's finally 90-100 and I'm stuck wearing sweatshirts to hide it. **** me. Good thing I'm always cold I guess.
I don't have very long before I have to raise $8,000. I'm not sure how I'm going to come up with it... really, I need to come up with more than that even, but I think if I came up with 8k I could talk this treatment program into accepting me.
Now- how do I raise that kind of money? Well there's online fundraising, though I've already tried that and it didn't really work. I don't have family to ask. Most of my friends are broke as hell as well.I really need to get started in this program within the next couple weeks... it seems impossible. I could try to ask friends, but... I don't see that happening. Especially since most of my friends don't want to talk to me right now, or at all actually, until I'm in the program or completely over the eating disorder and PTSD issues. It makes everything feel hopeless. And then there's the whole issue of how to get there. If I were to try to walk there, it'd take me about 6 days and that's if I didn't stop. Thats a bit far. I'm not too concerned with finding a way there right now, if I can raise the money, I can find a way there I am sure. The money is an issue. I could try to meet 8,000 people and ask them each for $1. I'm not sure if it's possible for me to meet 8,000 people. Well, I suppose there are more people than that in the city I live in, so I guess it could be possible. That could be a bit weird though, I mean how would I do it- just knock on people's doors? I don't know if that'd go over so well. If I could find some craft thing to make and sale for a profit, and put all the money towards the treatment, that could work. What could I make though? It'd have to be something easy, and cheap. I'd have to make 8,000 and sale those 8,000 at a profit of at least $1. I could hope that maybe if I explained what it was for, people would donate more, but I couldn't ask them to... If I could think of something REALLY good I might be able to make a profit of $5. Then i'd only have to sale 1600. Still a lot, but more reasonable. I don't think people would pay too much though, if I'm making a profit of $5, they're probably going to be paying about $10....
Maybe I could use some of my art and photography stuff... sell some of the better pictures I've taken. Like take my laptop around with me, let them pick the prints they want, or even just have a few sample prints... I don't know... I think I'm just screwed on this one.
I'm super stressed. I'm cutting again. And of course I couldn't have screwed up and cut last week when we were having weird overcast weather... nope, have to cut when it's finally 90-100 and I'm stuck wearing sweatshirts to hide it. **** me. Good thing I'm always cold I guess.
I don't have very long before I have to raise $8,000. I'm not sure how I'm going to come up with it... really, I need to come up with more than that even, but I think if I came up with 8k I could talk this treatment program into accepting me.
Now- how do I raise that kind of money? Well there's online fundraising, though I've already tried that and it didn't really work. I don't have family to ask. Most of my friends are broke as hell as well.I really need to get started in this program within the next couple weeks... it seems impossible. I could try to ask friends, but... I don't see that happening. Especially since most of my friends don't want to talk to me right now, or at all actually, until I'm in the program or completely over the eating disorder and PTSD issues. It makes everything feel hopeless. And then there's the whole issue of how to get there. If I were to try to walk there, it'd take me about 6 days and that's if I didn't stop. Thats a bit far. I'm not too concerned with finding a way there right now, if I can raise the money, I can find a way there I am sure. The money is an issue. I could try to meet 8,000 people and ask them each for $1. I'm not sure if it's possible for me to meet 8,000 people. Well, I suppose there are more people than that in the city I live in, so I guess it could be possible. That could be a bit weird though, I mean how would I do it- just knock on people's doors? I don't know if that'd go over so well. If I could find some craft thing to make and sale for a profit, and put all the money towards the treatment, that could work. What could I make though? It'd have to be something easy, and cheap. I'd have to make 8,000 and sale those 8,000 at a profit of at least $1. I could hope that maybe if I explained what it was for, people would donate more, but I couldn't ask them to... If I could think of something REALLY good I might be able to make a profit of $5. Then i'd only have to sale 1600. Still a lot, but more reasonable. I don't think people would pay too much though, if I'm making a profit of $5, they're probably going to be paying about $10....
Maybe I could use some of my art and photography stuff... sell some of the better pictures I've taken. Like take my laptop around with me, let them pick the prints they want, or even just have a few sample prints... I don't know... I think I'm just screwed on this one.
