Reached My Limit

[zombie squirrel]

My fiance and I broke up this past weekend. I told him in December how much it hurt me when he wanted to mess around with me all the time. I love him to death, so I used to just put up with freaking out and feeling dirty for hours afterwards, but I really can't do it anymore. I think I've reached my limit. I also told him that he shouldn't blame himself when it happens because he's not the one that made me the way I am. Everytime that happens he gets really upset and I can tell that he thinks he hurt me. In December, he told me he wouldn't try to mess around with me for a while, but he hasn't stopped. I have tried to just refuse it, but he always gets really mad and won't talk to me, and eventually I end up just letting it happen. I gave him an ultimatum this weekend and told him that we shouldn't be together unless he can accept the idea that I might never be able to do that stuff again. I love him so much, but I can tell that this stuff is hurting him and I know that it's hurting me. I kind of just want to let it go and go back to him, but I know we will both just get hurt again. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice?

 

[Reclusive]

I'm so sorry. That sounds like it must have been horrible to go through. But I think you're doing the right thing - if you guys can't respect each others needs, then the relationship just isn't going to work. It's really hard to get past this stuff. You tried. What more can you do? Be gentle with yourself, though, you haven't done anything wrong but you have been through something emotionally painful. Be good to you.

 

[SadBunny]

I'm sorry that you are having to go through all of that. I think it is important that you focus on yourself. Finding someone that accepts how things are is hard. You just can't give up fighting and you have to keep trying. I agree with Reclusive you didn't do anything wrong its not your fault don't be hard on yourself.