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It’s rare. Which is why it’s so often the subject of books/film… as it’s outside most people’s understanding / lived perspectives. Like the underdog fixation in American film (quadapelic climbs Everest & defeats Communism & saves the world from space invaders) level of …that’s not what one would expect to happen. Except? Since it’s what everyone always sees… it’s weirdly become what one expects to happen?!? The one in a million, or one in a billion, story being “you suck, you lazy piece of shit” if you aren’t the one in a million? Or one in a billion? Shrug. People expect what they’re familiar with. If they’re only familiar with film/tv, not life? They expect the extreme exceptions to reality as “normal”.
Most parents? Love their kids, would die for them, do their absolute best, and wouldn’t hurt their children -or allow anyone else to hurt them- even if it ruined/killed them. Abuse and neglect are on the TEENY TINY MINORITY of the ends of the spectrum of most people’s lived experience. Which, in a world of billions, still means it’s the experience of tens of millions. A teeny tiny minority, in a ginormous sample? Is a honking huge number of people.
The overwhelming majority of problems within families? Aren’t abuse/neglect. Which doesn’t mean they aren’t -often- profound. They’re “just” from other causes, as personalities interact… badly. Like homophobia & a gay kid, or 180 degree different morality, or religion, or politics, or respect, or resources, or any of the other things that cause nations to go to war. In addition to aaaaaaaaall the things that no one would, for one second, put up with from a stranger… that they suffer through with family.
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