Really Shaken Up

[Casey_03]

I feel slightly better -- just talked to my old roommate who recently moved out. Asked him if he had noticed this problem with the door before, if it was always like that since we moved in. He said it was, and that he actually got locked in once before and couldn't get out, but then I walked in the kitchen and saved him ... and he never said anything about the door. Kinda irritating that he never bothered to warn me, but at least the fact that he got locked in there proves I'm not going crazy or overreacting, that the door was in fact faulty.

 

[Friday]

With corrupt people I barter like nobody's business.

As in my stance is

- They will replace the door.
- They will hire cleaners to take care of the mess made by forcing the door.
- They will pay the police for their time and effort.
- They will pay for my medical bills
- They will grovel and beg for my undying forgiveness

When all I really want is the doorknob replaced.

I would start off on the offensive. Demand the landlord come at once and launch into an impassioned re telling of how HIS door trapped me, then innummerating my injuries, the baby in the next room, the police having to come, the mess his door has caused me...

At which point they usually meet that with wails and demands of their own matching most of mine (of course, if they get off the first volley, it's important to match them at every point they make, and raise them where applicable).

...and then continue to haggle down until we meet in the middle.

***

Bartering is a game I don't always have the energy to play. I realize I'm robbing them of their fun, and breaking the rules by being direct. As long as I don't do it too often, however, I can usually get away with it. If not? Then I need to have someone else haggle for me.

Eta
((Or just pay for the door as the cost of damages more than worth sidestepping the cost of dealing with the other thing. The danger with that one in a bartering or corrupt atmos is getting marked as a soft touch, mark, pushover. Shrug. Everything has cost/benefit. Weighing the risk & reward is a fairly constant thing.))

 

[pixel]

I was ready to climb out the 4th floor window and try to get in through my neighbor's balcony, that's how desperate I was to get back to my baby

I love hearing this :happy:

When your son gets older, you should tell him this story of how much you love him. :x3:

You're a wonderful person @Casey_03 and you are a great mother!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Id first, demand that the door be taken out. Whats the purpose of a door like that?

And no, I would NOT pay for it. You gave the police a statement that it locked you inside of the kitchen, without a phone, away from your baby; right?

Then use that, give it to your landlord and advise he/she is liable for that since it was broken to begin with and if they give you an issue, Id threaten to sue due to mental and physical damages. What do they want, forget about the door, take it door or replace it with a working door, or go to court?

Did your landlord know it was broken to begin with? Prior knowledge of it is good.

Id stand my ground on that! Anyone would have done the same thing. You are only legally liable if you are maliously damaging property and most take a security deposit for that reason. I dont think your landlord is going to be THAT stupid.

Im sorry that happened! How terrifying! :hug:

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm just glad that the baby is OK and that you are basically OK and did not need to be hospitalized. I was a landlady once, and if this had happened in MY building, I would have been upset, yes, but I would NOT have demanded that you pay for anything. You have my permission to say so to your landlord too!

 

[Chimera]

If there's hinges there is a solution.

 

[Casey_03]

You gave the police a statement that it locked you inside of the kitchen, without a phone, away from your baby; right?

I didn't. The police didn't take any kind of statement or write up a report. They just showed up, asked if I was okay, and then left. I don't think threatening to sue is really an option here. I'm trying to move out within the next month or so to relocate back to the States, and I really can't handle any legal hassle. Plus, the courts here are screwed up.

I have a feeling the landlord will claim that I didn't have to break the door and that it is somehow my fault I got locked in. He'll probably say, "But you could've just turned it from the inside using a pair of pliers." (Which would possibly be true if I'd known ahead of time that the door was screwed up and brought a pair of pliers with me)

I have no idea if he knew the door was faulty. I myself didn't know, but that's just because I never kept the door closed. It only closed yesterday by random chance, when the wind blew it shut. The whole situation is so stupid. I'm just worried that if he demands too much money from me, I won't be able to move back to the U.S. in October, and I've already gotten tickets booked and everything. But if he takes the last of my savings ... I won't be able to move back. So this whole stupid door situation is threatening to sabotage my long-awaited plans.

 

[Sandstone]

How can he "take" your savings? If you are leaving the country soon, he isn't realistically going to pursue you through an international legal case. Even if, at worst, he has some sort of access to your bank, you could move the money out to another account. Do you think you might be catastrophising that bit?

You have just had a deeply distressing experience that would push lots of my PTSD buttons as well as activating the deepest maternal instincts. I think you need to be gentle on yourself if you possibly can, and take time to come down from the level of distress it caused.

Then, when you are able, it would be good to be purely business-like and detached about the landlord. I love Friday's suggested approach, but I couldn't actually do it. I'd go for a letter informing him that his faulty door trapped you, but he will be relived to hear that he isn't liable for any long term harm to you or your child because you managed to escape in time. Even though he failed to inform you of the hazard, you are prepared not to take any action against him. As a gesture of good will you are prepared to offer X amount towards the door repair, and will consider the matter closed.

 

[Casey_03]

@Sandstone Unless I simply fled without informing him I was leaving, and left the keys somewhere where they could easily be stolen downstairs, he can report me and have me flagged before leaving the country. The police can actually stop me at the airport and prevent me from leaving if I don't pay and he reports it.

I didn't mean he would literally take my savings, I meant that he could demand a very high amount that would drain my bank account (I really don't have much to begin with). There is a clause in the lease saying I am liable for any damage, and I suspect he will twist this situation to make it seem as if I simply damaged the door for no reason. As a foreigner here, there is really very little that I can do to contest that claim, unless I want to pay a ton of money to a lawyer, which probably would not help much anyway. There is also the simple fact that the mentality here is quite different about lawsuits, and people generally aren't afraid of legal threats like they are in the West. I tried it once before when we had intruders and just got laughed at.

I fear I will just have to pay an exorbitant amount for that stupid door.

 

[digger]

I honestly wouldn't even mind paying if I knew the landlord was going to ask for a reasonable price, but everyone here is pretty corrupt, and I have a feeling he'll demand much more from me than is actually needed, or go for a super fancy door

Would it be worth getting quotes and just getting the door replaced yourself with a standard kitchen door. If you've repaired the damage and replaced with something functional I don't see he would really have anything to argue?

 

[Casey_03]

@digger The lease stipulates that he has to approve of any repairs/replacements, and I don't think he'd approve of the cheapest option, since he's trying to make profit off of renting the place out. There's also the fact that this is not a normal door -- it's an apartment in a historical building. They don't even sell doors like this anymore. Honestly, there's not THAT much damage to the door itself -- mainly dents and scratches. But again, he wants to make a profit by renting to foreigners, so he'll likely go for the most expensive option ...

 

[Anarchy]

They don't even sell doors like this anymore.

not new, but there will be salvage ones from flats that are being modified or demolished, and they probably won't be expensive.