Really Struggling

[Maxi]

I'm getting sick and tired of my life moving very slowly. I've tried different types of therapy over the last few years and I haven't improved a great deal, despite putting in lots of effort. I've come to terms with some difficult truths, but my current life is not how I wish it to be. I've booked an appointment with my doctor to discuss medication and am starting a new course of therapy hopefully soon. I've realised that my main problem is that I get overwhelmed quite easily and am very sensitive to criticism. Does anyone else struggle with similar issues and if so, how do you cope? Really need some help.

 

[Theresa1122]

It took me 7-1/2 years and many "quacks" before I found my right person - my current psychologist is the best! Keep trying and don't give up. You'll find the right person. As far as the sensitivity issue goes.....have you looked into maybe being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)? There's a test you can take online to see if things sound familiar or not and there's a great book called "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine N. Aron. It helped me TONS!

 

[Seasounds]

I've realised that my main problem is that I get overwhelmed quite easily and am very sensitive to criticism.Does anyone else struggle with similar issues and if so, how do you cope?

I mix a few modalities to help me get less overwhelmed so quickly.

• Practicing the Vipassana Meditation technique where I simply observe body sensations, while slowly scanning my body from head to toe. Related to PTSD, this helps me gain very early awareness of signs of anxiety. The information helps me, in real time, to become aware of my need to make a change (e.g. Take a break, leave a situation, etc. before I become very overwhelmed.

• I do use an SSRI and a low dose of clonazpam that help decrease my anxiety that comes from different situations and as a back up I use low doses of lorazepam. They all make it possible for me to feel more ar choice, when I become overwhelmed.

• Since my parent blamed me repeatedly, i am sensitive to criticism and am challenged by turning around these triggers. One of my first therapists used a version of cognitive behavioral therapy that were very helpful to me.

• Certain principles were: -I create my thoughts, feelings, and actions, and other people are the creators of their thoughts, feelings, and actions. -This means that if other people are blaming me, I know that I am not at fault for their feelings, and that the truth is that they feel upset. Remind yourself, it is their opinion; only that. "Yes, thank you for your opinion, and this is what I intended to do...."

• And, it means that I create my feelings; the blessing in this is that I can transform/process and hence change my feelings: a means of some locus of control.

• When criticism comes at work, and it is my job to non-defensively listen to criticism, I use another skill that this therapist taught me: create a deep core self-esteem by memorizing 200 of my positive traits (easy to do-let me know if you want to know how-it may seem overwhelming at first), and then when some criticizes me, I instantly remind myself that the other person is unhappy with a behavior of mine, and

• that at my core I am a good person with may good traits. I can start repeating them, silently at any time. This delays and changes the imact of criticism and, as you can imagine, I seek back-up support from friends and my therapist and psychiatrist.

• Finding a psychiatrist for a medication consult, that I liked proved to be more helpful that asking my Primary Doctor for help. As suggested, find one that you like and where you get the feeling that they like you. ( I called twenty-checking for workable schedules with mine, and the wittled my list to 3-after call backs, then chose one.

• Adding mindbody therapies really helped me. After enough strictly psychotherapy, I knew how to deal with emotions, but I didn't really know to deeply relax. These mindbody therapies helped me become integrated:Craniosacral Therapy, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, and Alexander Technique. Look for practitioners with advanced training and years of experience, and ones that encourage you to trust your senses and experiences.

• Expressive therapies: the above therapies helped me express my anger and pain, and integrate a peaceful center.

And being patient with your healing. The body works at a slower speed than the mind; I can understand and accept the truth of my trauma, but it may take years of learning new skills (feeling, relaxing, having a voice, learning nonviolent communication skills, etc., that help me recover and live differently.

Give yourself credit for all of your hard work!
:hug:

 

[Friday]

A couple of threads you might find quite useful

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

Criticism - Is It Them Or You?

 

[Changing4Best]

When I get overwhelmed I try to do one task or thing at a time. Taking one of the things and doing it to completion and then taking the next most important thing and doing the same seems to make it all seem less overwhelming.

 

[Maxi]

Thanks for the responses guys, all really helpful for giving me some new ideas. @FridayJones Thanks for the links to threads, I'll take a look. @Saetva Thank you for such a detailed list, very insightful. May I ask the method you use to remember the 200 positive qualities? I too meditate regularly and do a bit of art therapy to try and unwind and get to know myself better and this has lessened the overwhelm, but I still struggle.

 

[Maxi]

@Theresa1122 I did score as a highly sensitive individual. I may try and see if there are some youtube clips, or something which I can use to learn about it. Thank you :)

 

[Maxi]

@FridayJones I definitely agree with the cup analogy for how stress causes overwhelm, it definitely makes a lot of sense to me. And the thread on criticism was really interesting. I did a course of CBT which emphasised identifying cognitive distortions and challenging my thoughts as a way to respond to my perfectionism and found it really helpful, but I think because I haven't been practising the skills my old habits of self-blame and hatred have slipped back in. I'm going to try reviewing my old notes. Thank you.