jaccat
VIP Member
I lost my brother N in January this year. N and I went through hell together, he took the brunt of it. We lost our other brother, J four years before N died, our dad, five years before that. There's been a lot of loss and I know grief pretty well. N died of an aggressive brain tumour, after years of struggling with his mental health, si, addiction, coming to me for support, for something so random as cancer to take him, it's hard. I can't even put into words what he meant to me.
I'm in anniversary season now. Between his first admission into hospital and his death was less that six months. I get it, it's still recent for me, it's the first year, I'm still processing. My problem is that it's becoming overwhelming. The rumination, the reminders, the memories. And the complicating stuff, the earlier traumas, the family stuff, which is all kind of mixed up in it.
I'm not trying to avoid the thoughts, the grief process. Because I've had so much loss I'm well aware I don't deal with it the way people expect me to. It's not the first time it's hit me months later. My problem is it's overwhelming me. I'm getting brain fog at work. I'm having to avoid anything that could upset me. I also suffer from fatigue due to a health condition and am at risk of getting sick again. My job is currently full of its own stresses and I'm just trying to navigate through that in one piece. It's only for one more week and then the stresses there will hugely reduce. Once that's sorted I'll have time to focus on me.
What I'm asking for is strategies to pause the rumination, ways to reduce the stress just so I can function for a little bit longer.
I'm in anniversary season now. Between his first admission into hospital and his death was less that six months. I get it, it's still recent for me, it's the first year, I'm still processing. My problem is that it's becoming overwhelming. The rumination, the reminders, the memories. And the complicating stuff, the earlier traumas, the family stuff, which is all kind of mixed up in it.
I'm not trying to avoid the thoughts, the grief process. Because I've had so much loss I'm well aware I don't deal with it the way people expect me to. It's not the first time it's hit me months later. My problem is it's overwhelming me. I'm getting brain fog at work. I'm having to avoid anything that could upset me. I also suffer from fatigue due to a health condition and am at risk of getting sick again. My job is currently full of its own stresses and I'm just trying to navigate through that in one piece. It's only for one more week and then the stresses there will hugely reduce. Once that's sorted I'll have time to focus on me.
What I'm asking for is strategies to pause the rumination, ways to reduce the stress just so I can function for a little bit longer.